The Triplets' Guides (Original Version)

Mabel's Guide to Art

Mabel picked herself up off the ground that she had just crashed towards. She was wearing an aviator's helmet and goggles, and had a pillow with the words "Amelia Awesomeheart" strapped to her chest. She also had an umbrella in each hand, though one of them was destroyed from the crash.

"And that was Mabel's guide to flying" she said to the camera, as she threw the umbrellas to the side. "In conclusion, flying and falling are basically the same thing."

She walked up to the section of broken fence where she had crashed. There was a small blue bird perched on top of it.

Mabel turned her attention towards the bird.

"I am like you now, bird" she said.

She suddenly pushed herself even closer to the bird with a serious expression on her face.

"We are now one!"

"Today Mabel's guide to...art!"

"Mabel's guide to is filmed in front of an adorable studio audience."

In the Mystery Shack, Mabel gestured towards a strange miniature sculpture of a moose in a tutu holding a tennis racket, which was sitting on top of an Ionic pillar.

"Art! It's all around us!" she said the camera cheerfully. "From the big triangles of the desert, to those pens that go like broop! Broop!"

An elephant was now holding a paintbrush with its trunk, and was smearing red paint all over the canvas that was set up on an easel in front of him.

"Even old Jumbo is getting in on the act" Mabel commented. "Don't quit your day job, Jumbo."

Jumbo finally pulled back his trunk, revealing a painting made up of random primary smears of paint all over the canvas. Mabel couldn't really tell what it was supposed to be.

"That..that's really bad."

Mabel was now back in the Mystery Shack.

"No one really knows what art means or where it comes from, but one thing is for sure: I'm great at it!"

She placed a blank sheet of paper with a light blue crayon scribble on it on the table.

"At age two, I was naturally gifted."

She then placed another drawing over it. It had two stick sloppy stick figures, one was bald, and the other had a single stick of hair. Labelled underneath one of them was "DIPR," and underneath the other one was "(Y)."

"By age five, I was a master of portraits."

Mabel then placed a third drawing over the previous two of rainbows that were in a courtroom, and written at the bottom were the words "Rainbow Court."

"Age seven was a time of free exploration."

She finally turned towards the camera with a wide grin on her face.

"But everything changed when I saw this amazing caricature!"

She held up a picture of a caricature Dipper, on a green surfboard with a blonde lady sitting on it in a white bathing suit. Written in the corner were the words "Lady's Man!"

Dipper immediately snatched the picture out of her hands.

"Give me that, give me that!"

Mabel didn't seem to mind though, turning back towards the camera.

"What could make it even better, you ask?" she said, reaching downwards. "I give you...the cat-icature!"

She held up her picture of a grey cat, wearing a camouflage bandana. It was obviously supposed to be Mara.

Cat-icature!

She then held it up right next to the real Mara.

"Just compare this amazing alikeness to Mara!"

Mara squinted at it skeptically, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That doesn't look anything like me."

"You're right, that does look exactly like you!" Mabel yelled over her to the camera.

Cat-icature!

Mabel slapped down the cat-icature of Stan over all her other pictures of Dipper, Mara, Wendy, Soos, and Waddles on a table.

Stan looked at all her pictures.

"It's just the same crummy cat face with a different hat each time" he said.

Mabel smiled.

"Exactly. And I sell them for ten dollars each."

She had managed to win Stan over with just that one phrase.

"You need an agent" he asked with a serious expression. "I am now your agent."

Mabel was now in Toby's office. She held up the cat-icature picture of Toby to the camera, and then gave the picture to the real Toby Determined, who looked at the drawing with awe.

"It looks exactly like me!" he said. "Right down to my actual cat whiskers that the doctors can't explain!"

He hugged the picture to his chest happily.

"Meow meow meow!"

Mabel frowned at him.

"You're always weirder than I remember."

Stan was now selling the cat-icature pictures at a table outside the shack, and there were many tourists holding wads of cash out to him eagerly.

Stan grinned as he turned towards his niece.

"Mabel! These caticatures are selling like hot cakes!"

Mabel was sitting at another table a distance away from her great uncle. She was leaned against the table with a rather bored expression on her face.
"Cat-icatures are great, but I've moved on to the next level" she said, as she started to reach underneath the table.

"Behold! Humanicaticatures!"

She held up a cat, with a picture of a human doodled on its belly.

Humanicaticatures!

The people looked at her with weird expressions only for about a second, before holding out even larger wads of cash wildly.

Stan grinned.

"Somebody get this girl more cats!"

Mabel was now back in the Mystery Shack holding a paintbrush, but her hair was sticking out in several directions, her clothes were torn, and her headband had been snapped in half. On top of it all, she was missing a shoe, and her entire body was covered in scratches.

She was surrounded by hissing cats.

"That's it for Mabel's guide to art" she said to the camera. "Where we learned that sometimes, you have to suffer for your art."

She then approached the nearest cat.

"Here, kitty. Here, kitty kitty kitty."

In response to that, the cat lunged at her, and attached its claws to her face.

She screamed and fell backwards, clawing upwards as the cat hissed and attacked her face mercilessly.

"Ha ha, it actually kinda tickles!"