The Triplets' Guides (Original Version)

Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: Lefty

Dipper was standing in the center of the town, and he looked at the camera with a serious expression.

"Alright, uh, welcome back to Dipper's guide to the unexplained" he said, holding up his usual cardboard sign.

"Today we investigate Gravity Falls anomaly number eighty two."

He panned the camera so that it was taping a seemingly ordinary man with balding brown hair. He was facing left as he read a newspaper in a bowling alley.

"Sure, he looks normal, but if he's so normal, explain why he's always facing left."

"Literally, I've been following him around for weeks, and I've never once seen the right side of his face. And neither has anyone else."

To prove his point, Dipper played several clips of the strange man in a grocery store, running in the park, and even going up the escalator backwards. It appeared that no matter what he was doing, he was never facing his right side.

The camera went back to the current setting, but this time, Dipper was holding the camera, while Mabel and Mara were standing in front of it.

Mara was holding a file that was labelled "Top Secret."

She was chuckling at her brother.

"Man, and I thought that Nathaniel was a creep" she said to Dipper.

Dipper frowned at her from behind the camera.

"I'm not stalking him!" he insisted. "I'm gathering observations! For science!"

Mara smirked.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

Dipper sighed, then turned towards his other sister.

"Mabel, theories."

Mara opened the top secret file, and Mabel pulled out the papers that were inside, displaying them one by one to the camera.

"Theory one" Mabel said. "He's hiding an embarrassing sunburn."

She tossed the drawing aside, and pulled up the next doodle.

"Theory two, half man, half lizard."

She tossed the second drawing aside, and pulled up the last doodle.

"And theory three, my personal favorite, he's normal! And Dipper's just crazy."

In the picture, Dipper was drawn with squiggly eyes, and there were also sketches of screws near him with the caption "Screws Loose."

Dipper hurriedly snatched the paper out of her hands.

"That's not a theory. That doesn't count as a theory!"

Both of his sisters were laughing at his reaction.

Dipper turned the camera so that it was facing him.

"We find out now."

He ran into the bowling alley with the camera in his hands. The man was standing behind the counter, not surprisingly facing his left.

"Hello, good sir!" Dipper greeted.

The man frowned at the camera.

"I'm sorry, cameras aren't allowed in here."

"Oh, it's not on. Not on" Dipper insisted, as he shoved the camera, still on, into Mara's arms.

He then whispered to her,

"He bought it!"

Dipper walked up to the counter.

"So, would you mind grabbing those bowling shoes for me?" he asked the man. "The ones on your right side?"

The man pointed behind him.

"These ones?"

Dipper nodded.

The man simply walked backwards, picked up the shoes, and placed them on the counter in front of Dipper, facing left the entire time.

But Dipper wasn't about to give up.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out his wallet.

"Whoops" he said. "Oh no, I dropped my wallet."

He threw the wallet to the man's right.

"It's over there to your right side" said Dipper, pointing to his wallet. "Maybe you could turn around?"

The man sighed in annoyance, before walking backwards and bending down to retrieve Dipper's wallet.

"There you are, sir" he said, placing the wallet on the counter.

Dipper sighed defeatedly.

"Fine" he said, as he shoved his wallet into his pocket and picked up his bowling shoes. "Could you just get me my bowling ball?"

"I don't see why not" the man replied, as he walked out from behind the counter, still facing left.

Mara hurriedly turned the camera to the left, making sure that it was still on the man, who was bending down over the balls trying to find the right size for Dipper.

"Let's see, maybe a ten, or?"

Dipper hurried up to the man. .

"Well, I was thinking more of a, ah ha!"

When he was finally close enough, Dipper pushed the man with one hand, forcing him to face the right.

What he saw was not what he had expected at all.

It appeared that the man was divided into multiple mini stories, and contained on each floor were green blob-like aliens, each of them at a different control.

"What the?"

Suddenly, one of the mini aliens noticed the three kids watching them.

"Guys, look!" it said, pointing at the triplets.

All of the aliens gasped.

Dipper, Mabel, and Mara gasped as well.

"We're blown!" screamed one of the aliens. "Shut it down! Shut it down!"

Suddenly, the aliens all took out red glowing cubes, and shoved them into their mouths. They exploded shortly after eating the red cubes.
"The time has come!"

"The time has come!"

"The time has come!"

There were only two aliens left. One of them was holding two red cubes.

"The time has come, brother!" one shouted.

The other held up his hands in protest.

"I can't! I have a family!"

"You signed the oath!"

Reluctantly, the aliens shoved the cubes into their mouths, and fell out of the machine and onto the ground, exploding into nothingness.

With nobody controlling it, the human machine suddenly started shorting out, collapsing to the ground into a pile of scrap metal.

Suddenly, it exploded into flames as well, before disappearing entirely.

However, it left a huge puff of smoke into the air, and the fire detector was set off.

The alarm suddenly started blaring, and the water sprinkles on the ceiling were activated.

The triplets all bolted for the door.

"That concludes anomaly number eighty two!" said Dipper with a panicked voice. "Uh, I think we might wanna burn this tape!"

Mara took out a flame thrower.

"Way ahead of you."