Loneliness and Home

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Midoriya stood there on the outskirts of town, until he couldn't see Todoroki on his horse any more. That's when his all-consuming loneliness settled in. It started in the bottom of his stomach, making it twist and churn uncomfortably. Then it traveled up to his throat, squeezing so it was hard to breath. Finally, it made its way to it's final destination, Izuku's head, where it would expand so that he couldn't think straight. He felt sick.

Izuku had only experienced this feeling twice in his whole life. The first was when his dad left him and his mother. He was about five and walking home from pre-school when he heard fighting and yelling coming from inside his house. Then, all of a sudden, his dad came storming out. Midoriya got excited because he had just drawn a picture that he couldn't wait to show his father, so he ran up behind him, eager to impress.

But when he tugged on his dad's pant leg, he didn't see the kind and caring face he once knew. No, he saw the face of a monster. Cold, hard eyes and a firmly set jaw. It was enough to send little Izuku running back into the safety of his home, hoping to he his real father in there, waiting to greet him with a hug. Instead he saw his mother, crumpled up in a broken heap on the floor. She was crying, and Midoriya had never seen any adult so openly distraught. That was the last time he ever saw his dad. 

And that's when the loneliness started to settle in. Not just over Midoriya, but over everything. You could feel the house sagging, and the temperature would never be quite right. His mother was different too. She smiled less, stopped taking him to the park, put all her heart and soul into running a potion shop so she could finally start earning enough to take care of her and her son. Izuku was squeezed out of the picture. Ironic, isn't it? She was doing so much for him that she didn't end up doing anything at all.

This almost torturous lifestyle went on for several more years until he was sixteen. By that time, Midoriya's mother had become deathly ill. With nobody to work the shop, he was put in charge of it full time. So on top of struggling to maintain an education, he also had to worry about his mom's health and keeping a business running smoothly. It was exhausting, but he would keep it up forever if he had to, if it meant keeping his mom around. His attempt was in vain.

Inko was kept in her room upstairs, visited by the only doctor in the kingdom daily. Dr. Mitsuki Bakugo also had a son, the same age as Izuku. They had become friends, more or less. Sure one was always trying to kill the other, but they got along well.

One day Midoriya walked upstairs after he had closed up the shop for the day. He wanted to check up on his mom and then go to bed, it had been a long night after all. When he made his way to the second floor however, he knew something was wrong. Dr. Bakugo was still there, she usually went home by then and also Katsuki wasn't sitting in the hallway leaning against the wall, as he usually was. Izuku had a terrible suspicion of what had happened but he told himself to not assume the worst.

When he walked into his mother's room and was greeted by two very solemn faces, his suspicions were confirmed. "I'm so sorry, Izuku. She couldn't make it. She gave a good fight, but it wasn't enough," he remembered being told. "It wasn't enough." Something in that made him angry. It wasn't enough that he had toiled away, getting an education and managing a business to provide for two people? It wasn't enough that he had been insanely worried for seven whole years that at any second the only constant in his life would die? Of course it wasn't enough. It never is.

Midoriya pushed past the doctor to catch a last glimpse of his mother. Her once vibrant skin had yellowed due to illness. Her once full and round cheeks now shriveled and shrunken. Her eyes, once dancing and alive, were now closed for the last time. The loneliness took over until he couldn't bear it any more. Izuku mouthed the word 'goodbye' to his mother and then nodded to Mitsuki. She began to carry the body out, so it could be prepared for cremation. It was all Izuku could afford. They couldn't even pay for a funeral. It was too much, and he was not enough.

Midoriya wiped away his tears and turned around, headed for home.


haha feelin sad that i murdered inko, best mom? me too! sorry for bein such a dramatic bitch these last few updates, but hey, what can ya do? also arent ya proud of me that im sticking with my updoot schedule for once? next update, you might get hit with the feels train oopsie

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