I'm Just The Drummer | Lashton

Chapter 10: The Decision

Both Luke and I broke apart and looked over to see Michael rubbing his eyes as he looked at the sight of us. I never thought I would say this, but thank God I broke down. Michael couldn't find out about Luke or I being gay, and he certainly couldn't harass us for being together when I didn't even know what Luke and I were.

"Michael, now isn't really a good time," Luke told him quietly. I didn't look at Michael, afraid that I would be blushing and I just didn't want him to see me cry.

"Well, I can obviously see I interrupted somethi-" he stopped and I turned my head towards him so he would just shut up. "Oh, my God. I had no idea. Ashton, is everything okay?"

"Peachy," I muttered.

"Mikey, can you just...go somewhere else? Go flush the toilet on Cal," Luke instructed him. The red-haired boy dispersed into the bathroom, leaving Luke and I alone again. "Ashton, you do know I'm here for you, right?"

I nodded slightly, not making eye contact with his beautiful blue irises.

"I want you to come to me next time something is bothering you before it comes to this," he glanced down at my scarred arm. "Whenever you need me, I'll be there."

"You're not just saying that, are you? Last time someone told me that, they did the complete opposite," I asked. He got an offended look on his face.

"Of course I mean it, Ash. I love you and hate seeing you this depressed and upset. I'll be there whenever you need me, day or night. I want you to wake me up at three in the morning if needed," Luke told me, wrapping his arms around me again.

"Thanks. For being there. You don't know how much a depressed person appreciates having a shoulder to cry on," I thanked him.

"Of course, Ash. I've never really had to deal with this sort of thing, but I'm still willing to help you," he reassured in my ear as he softly patted my back.

"I know," I answered, softly kissing his shoulder. I barely touched it and doubt he knew it was a kiss, but Iknew and that's all that mattered right now.

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We were rehearsing extra hard today since we gave Adam our word that we would. The outcome for WhereverYouArewas still up in the air, but he did make us run through it a few times. Right now, he was giving us a water break as he thought about whether or not to include it.

I took a sip from my water bottle, getting up from my drum set and stretching my legs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Oh, hey, Mikey."

"Listen, about earlier, I didn't mean anything by what I said. I had no idea," he apologized.

I just smiled at him, screwing the cap back on my water. "It's fine, Michael. I understand."

"I just- you know you can talk to me if you need to, right?" he said.

"Yeah, of course. Luke was just the first person there and I couldn't hold it in any longer. But don't worry about it; it's just stress and exhaustion," I lied straight through my teeth.

"Boys, break's over!" Adam suddenly yelled. Michael went back to his microphone and I took a seat at my drum set. "I've come to a decision about the song you presented me with last night, and the answer is yes, but-" he paused. "-you have to promise me that it will be just as good as all of the other songs."

"We won't disappoint you, Adam," Calum said.

"I know," the older man smiled.

Luke turned back towards me, a beam on his face as he gave me a thumbs up. I just responded with a smile and a nod. I was beyond ecstatic, really, I was, but I was also nervous whether the fans were going to like it or not. I mean, if Adam squeezed into our set at the very last second, then we knew it was a pretty damn good song. But when people found out that I wrote it, would they like it anymore or just as much?

----

Luke practically knocked me over as he leapt onto my back as we walked into the hotel room. Calum and Michael were behind us, celebrating the news like we were. I wasn't showing my excitement as much as they were though; I was more reserved, which was highly unusual for me. 

"Partners in crime, Ashy!" Luke yelled in my ear. When we got over to the couch, I let go of him and he fell onto it. "We're boss ass bitches!" 

"I believe this calls for a celebration of some highly needed alcohol, at least for me," Michael suggested.

"We can't do it right now. If we got wasted before the show and Adam found out, we'd be done," Luke quickly responded.

"Ugh, god dammit. After the show then. We'll come back here or go to a club and we'll celebrate the two amazing people right in front of me," Mikey agreed, a smirk on his face. Cal smacked his arm. 

"I'm kinda amazing here, too," Calum defended.

"True, but did you write a song amazing enough for Adam to squeeze it into the setlist at the last minute?" Mikey said, quirking his eyebrow. Calum looked at the floor, silent. "Thought so. But we'll still celebrate how wonderful you are, okay?"

"What time did Adam say we had to be there?" I asked.

"By four-thirty since the show starts at seven," Luke answered. He glanced down at his phone. "That gives us 45 minutes to shower, shit, and shave."

"Technically, it's half an hour because the van will show up fifteen minutes early," Cal pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Luke agreed. 

Calum went into the bedroom and Mikey went into the bathroom, leaving Luke and I alone. He looked at me, excitement and happiness in his eyes. I just returned his smile, trying to express the excitement as much as he was. I was nervous for tonight; I didn't want to go back to cutting or that fateful depression that Luke was starting to bring me out of. It would be just depressing if that happened.

"Are you okay, Ash?" Luke asked. "You act like something's on your mind."

"Just...stuff I told you this morning. Don't worry about it," I shrugged.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No, I'm okay," I answered again.

"Everyone will lovethe song, I promise. And you'll do great tonight. The Ashton girls will be throwing their underwear at you because you'll do so amazing," Luke reassured.

I couldn't help but chuckle at that. For the first time all day, I felt pressure lift off of me and I started to not feel scared about the concert.

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