Illegal Love || PJM || KTH

3. Pregnant

Coming back to my senses,I wanted  to temporarily dislocate my spirit from my body, as if I could ask God to take me out for just a short while, let my soul go. I was tired enough from the process of recovery all over again. I knew I'd  up feeling okay in the morning, it's simply a level of worn-out-ness that hurts.

Remembering that Jimin was going to show up at any time,and seeing me like this?He definitely wouldn't let it slip without asking me something that I would have no courage to tell. Heading towards the bathroom to rinse my tears away. I had to cook before he comes back. Maybe cooking was capable to lift up my mood. I hoped.

It was 9.23 when the dead silence was interrupted by the front door's movement followed by a whistle, "Eva, Eva, where are you?",I heard him singing teasingly.

Drawing a huge smile up to my face, I decided to meet him with a cheery Evelyn this time. I was used to act in front of him even though I was burning inside but it became a natural instinct,like breathing, so smiling in his face and pretending like nothing was wrong was something I can do without any effort. For me? I deserved an Oscar for my acting skills,but sadly, these skills were only for people around me.My talent deserved more.

Atop of this all, I needed to communicate with a cool Jimin, not a raging one. So doing any move that would make him 1% angry, wasn't going to help me in anyway, I can smile for him and then hit him with what I have to say. The topic was really sensitive for me, and I knew , it was going to be sensitive for him as well. It was our baby after all.

Both of hands circled around my waist caging me in his grip,bringing himself closer to me, my back was in direct contact with his abdominal part. He placed a small kiss on my cheek,he then rested his chin on my shoulder ,his warm breath on my neck made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy, "How are you today?".

 Turning around to face him, I stood on my toes to reach his nose kissing it, "Great", I smiled a huge smile along which made him smile in response,"How was your day?", I asked back, bringing my hands around his neck and clasping them together behind it.

"Tiring", he huffed, "I just want to eat and dive into a deep sleep".

My courage was destroyed at his words, as if his words were a wrecking ball and my courage was the ball,"Well don't you want to spend sometime with me?", my puppy eyes popped up suddenly , "I stay alone the whole day and then you come home to just eat and sleep?", I moved my ring finger tracing his cheek . To which he smiled.I didn't understand myself at that point. What was I doing. But all what I knew that I needed to talk to him about the pregnancy issue . I needed some answers to my questions. And I wanted some decisions to be taken. It was eating me from the inside and I didn't have the enough strength to keep it to myself. So I had to change his mind about staying up. In anyway possible.

Resting his forehead on mine,"I'll just try to stay up for one more hour then,only for you".

"Great", I grinned.

After he took a shower.Dinner  was ready. It went on smoothly as he told me a little about his work, not too much cause he didn't want to bore me with his talks. He was never a boring person, in the contrary, truth to be told, I've always enjoyed our calm moments and talks. Which by the way were very very very little.

After dinner, he poured himself a glass of wine, and offered me one, which I surprisingly accepted ,and surprisingly gulped it all at once. Finding my courage again from this glass before I start my suicidal talk. I was cool an hour ago, but as the clock ticked at the time arrived,I found myself nervous, and all of my previous attempts of encouraging myself were kept in that past hour.  Maybe cause I've never thought about having a baby with Jimin. Or even getting pregnant. I know it's ridiculous for a married couple not to talk about such a topic,but it just happened that we've never talked about wanting a baby. Only that time when..