Blood (Levi x Reader)

26. ** Let it Rain **

The days that followed the ceremony where Historia was crowned as Queen were an odd mixture of discovery and forced recuperation. We were all ordered to take time to heal after living through multiple traumatic events, one right after the other. The Survey Corps, especially Squad Levi, was full of physically, mentally and emotionally drained soldiers who barely had anything left to give. Whenever we saluted, shouting aloud how we would give our hearts, we weren’t really promising much. We weren’t lying either when we said we were giving everything we had, but what we had left to offer was nothing more than table scraps, rejected even by the rats. We were coasting on the fumes of victory, with only a faint whisper of hope remaining to reassure us that we weren’t just wasting our lives away. It took everything I had within me to grant my soul permission to breathe, while silently suffocating from the secret I chose to keep hidden from the world.

We were all granted luxuries we never knew existed while staying within Wall Sina. The pillows we laid our heads on at night were filled with soft, delicate feathers instead of handfuls of rough straw and grass. The freshly laundered linens that smelled of lavender and pine kept us perfectly warm as we slept, instead of waking up shivering beneath what was basically a burlap sack. I never once questioned what my meal consisted of since each item had a deliciously distinct taste which matched its vibrantly attractive hue. Discovering satisfaction within a flavorful meal was a pleasant reversal from always eating something that was just boiled-down brown mush.  Although one would assume we had the desire to become accustomed to such extravagance, it was much too frivolous to be viewed as obtainable. It could be perceived as pessimism, but in the end, we were just realists.

My first month of pregnancy flew by, luckily unnoticed. It was easy to blame my early symptoms on fatigue and a picky stomach, and I was far too active to have gained even an ounce of extra weight. On bad days, I still had moments of wavering doubt which were quickly trampled by my already intuitive motherly instincts. Being responsible for a life in which you had a hand in creating was both terrifying and empowering. There was a constant inner argument over whether or not to tell Levi about the fruit of our love, but the outcome was always the same: Don’t burden him with such a thing…Be strong and carry the weight alone for as long as possible, before the obvious gives it away.

Oddly enough, it was a gloomy, cold and rainy day that made me question my decision to hide it after all.

“Shit! Goddamn rain just won’t let up! This is the fucking fifth day in a row without a fucking break. We’ll be a filthy, muddy mess by the time we meet up with the Queen. Why the hell can’t we take a carriage there!?“ Levi complained loudly as I sat beside him at breakfast.

“All the carriages are being used to transport the orphans from the underground, Captain. Queen Historia gave the order to begin-”

“Shut up, Yeager, I know why. Just let me bitch, will ya?”

Had I not just swallowed my sip of hot black tea, I would have shot it out my nose from uncontrollable laughter.

Levi and I had received an official invitation from Queen Historia to see her dream come to fruition. She had decreed that every orphaned child from inside the walls, including the underground, were to be given a place to live on her ancestral farmland, using the royal family’s budget to care for them all. Instead of trying to suddenly run an entire kingdom with no knowledge of how to do so, Historia agreed to allow the military to rule in her stead so she could run the orphanage. Before her announcement, I didn’t think it was possible for people to love their Queen any more than they already did. However, I wasn't surprised when she gained even more support and favor, affectionately earning her new title as the “Cattle-Farming Goddess.”

I was incredibly proud of Levi for lending such heavy backing when Historia first proposed her idea. Since Levi grew up in the Underground, he did everything he could to make sure no other child had to suffer alone as he had. Even though Levi was still mostly hesitant to speak about his past, I had learned enough from Kenny to know it wasn't a pleasant one.

"Levi, I'm sure Historia won't mind if we postpone our visit. I doubt she wants to be out in this either," I gently suggested. My words just fell on deaf ears as Levi shoved his chair from the table so he could stand. Without waiting for me to finish my tea, he tugged at my shirt, signaling for me to follow. I muttered a quick goodbye to my squad, excusing myself quietly, before retreating alongside our Captain.

We had already packed for our trip, so after we gathered what little luggage we had, we prepped our horses for the muddy journey ahead. I had no more than fastened the bit to my horse's muzzle when a wave of dizziness overcame me. Grasping for the harness, I stumbled sideways, completely caught off guard by its sudden severity. I didn't fall far though; A strong set of arms caught my body as it wavered, holding me upright.

"Oi, you sick or something?"

Clasping my hand against my forehead, I inhaled deeply, waiting for the bout of morning sickness to pass. Luckily, it was short-lived, and I was able to wave it off as nothing.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Thank you, Levi."

As I resumed saddling my horse, Levi stood beside me, seemingly watching my movements. Then, he gingerly placed his hand against my horse's side, preventing me from working any further.

"You're not fine. You're staying here."

"Shut up, Levi. I am fine, and I'm going with you," I mumbled, nudging him aside with my hip. However, my choice of movements backfired on me as I wobbled and lost my balance, falling directly back into Levi's arms. Lifting one eyebrow, he stared at me, totally unamused.

"You're fine, eh?"

Rather embarrassed, I turned and buried my face into his cloak and groaned.

"I'm just...exhausted, Levi. I think it's this weather too. I need some goddamn sunshine…" I mumbled, quickly making up a rather lame excuse.

I couldn't stop the slight whimper that emitted from my mouth when Levi began gently running his hand up and down my back in a slow, soothing motion.

"(Y/N), I know you haven't been sleeping well, and if you're this damn dizzy from that, there's no way in hell I'm letting you saddle up your horse and ride out in this shitty weather."

I clutched Levi's shirt in my fist, preparing to retaliate against his orders to stay, but those orders never came.

"...I know your stubborn ass too well, and I'm not about to leave you behind, so you'll just have to ride with me."

My eyes widened, and I lifted my gaze to meet his.  Staring back at me were the most beautiful spheres of blue and gray, filled with concern and adoration. Removing one hand from my back, he settled his fingers underneath my chin and tilted my head to align with his. The relentless rain poured heavily onto the roof above us but was easily forgotten as I melted into Levi's tender kiss. His lips lingered contently on mine, moving slowly and mindfully with every breath we took in unison. His thumb stroked my cheek before his hand drifted down to my jaw, fingertips lightly caressing my neck. His other hand cradled me closely, reminding me that he would never let me fall.

"Well, let's get this over with," Levi grumbled as he stared out into the dismal downpour.  I nodded and turned to slip one foot into his horse's stirrup, swinging my other leg over to settle into the saddle.  When Levi climbed on, I expected him to sit in front of me and have me hold on, but I was surprised when he slipped behind me, wrapping his arms around me to clasp the reins.

Turning my head slightly, he could tell I was a bit confused. So he just rested his palm against my abdomen and pushed his chest to my back, bringing his lips to my ears.

"Trust me; This way you won't fall off. Plus, I think I like this better anyway."

Before I could pull my hood over my head, Levi brushed his lips over my neck and surrendered to a slight chuckle as he nestled our bodies together for warmth.

"Something humorous?" I smiled.

"I fucking hate riding in the rain, but if this is how I get to spend it, I'll take it over a dry, sunny day anytime."