Blood (Levi x Reader)

29. ** What to Say **

Time passed by rather quickly as I witnessed Queen Historia welcome and take in countless broken souls who were overflowing with gratitude. I recognized a few faces from my days in the underground, but no one with whom I had ever formed relationships. Eventually, Molly requested for Levi and me to accompany her family to the place they would soon call home. Historia was more than happy to grant us approval, encouraging us to go with the women Levi had cared for, knowing how important they were to him.

"Thank you, Your Highness! You are an absolute angel!" Molly shouted enthusiastically, as she rallied the rambunctious children around her. Emmalynn had handed off her son to Levi, who was much more capable of carrying the pre-adolescent boy than she was. Although long-legged, the boy was rather thin and fragile due to the obvious malnutrition from which most underground children suffered. I smiled warmly as Levi cradled his friend's son in his arms while three more children, who were quite infatuated with the Captain, skipped alongside him. Without initially noticing, I endearingly rested my hand over my womb, wondering what kind of father Levi would be to our child.

"So, (Y/N), how long have you and Captain Levi been together?"

Startled, I turned to find Emmalynn walking up behind me, holding the hand of a young blonde girl with freckles speckling her tiny cheeks. Levi and Molly were quicker in pace with the older children, which resulted in putting a bit of space between them and us. Knowing Levi, he most likely just wanted to get out of the mud and drizzle, to a place that was clean and dry. Blushing from her question, I slowed my steps and hesitated to find an answer. Sensing my apprehension, she lightly placed her hand on my shoulder and giggled softly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I only ask because you are holding your belly like you're-"

With a gasp of dismay, I whipped around and smashed my palm against the all too observant woman's mouth. I was absolutely mortified by the gesture I had subconsciously made, practically revealing my own secret over which I was so torn. Then, grabbing her arms in desperation, I pulled her towards me and hissed, "Shhh! Please! Levi doesn't-"

"Oi! Walk faster, slowpokes! You really wanna deal with eleven kids while your ass is sick!?"

I could hear Levi shouting back to us as we picked up the rear of stragglers. Turning back to face the woman who had figured out my secret so effortlessly, my expression melted from terror to remorse.

"Please, Emmalynn... he has so much on his shoulders as it is. I can't allow for this to be another burden..."

Tugging me along to avoid suspicion, Emmalynn lowered her voice as she spoke, both of us keeping our heads down.

"(Y/N), I think you're placing your own fears on him. Do you really think the man who promised to provide for my son and all the children in need, would see his own child as a burden?"

"I- No- I don't know... It's just under such different circumst-"

"Is it really, though?"

Trudging through the mud in silence, I felt my chest heave, overwhelmed by the choice before me. I replayed Kenny's words in my head, over and over again:

"Ask him what it was like growing up in that rancid trash heap referred to as the Underground City, as the bastard son of a dead whore. And when he finishes his sad little tale, see if you think he has any interest whatsoever in raising that thing!"

Clutching my stomach, I tried to swallow the intense fear that began bubbling within, to force myself to acknowledge that those were Kenny's words; not Levi's.

"I'm so afraid, Emmalynn... the closest thing he ever had to a father was a power-hungry mass murderer who left without even saying goodbye. Not to mention, the next time he saw him, he tried to kill Levi and ended up slaughtering almost everyone with us! To top it all off, moments before his death, the man revealed to Levi that he had been his uncle all along... So you tell me... do you honestly think Levi would ever really want to be a father?"

Emmalynn bit her lip before quietly muttering a response.

"(Y/N), I would be lying if I said yes, but then again, I never wanted to be a mother either. I knew the risks that came with being an underground whore, but I didn't really have much of a choice. We could either make do with what we had or die. So when Molly and I both discovered we were pregnant, we panicked. I knew I couldn't raise a child but was too scared to go through what most whores did. As I said before, Levi somehow heard about our situation and came to see Molly and me with his offer.

"We, of course, had no other way of thanking him, so we freely offered ourselves as payment. Any other man would have taken advantage of us, but he refused every time, saying he would only be the same as those who used us if he touched us... so what I'm getting at is this: Levi must really love you for you to be pregnant with his child. So, I highly doubt he would ever walk away from either of you."

Even though the rain had dissolved into a mist, I could still feel a tear stream down my cheek as I allowed Emmalynn's words to comfort my soul. Straining my voice, I could barely utter a reply. "I can't lose him."

"You won't. Please, (Y/N), please tell him."

Still barely balancing on a tightrope of fear, I found my hesitation wavering. It was no longer the fear of hitting the ground, but the jump that was so utterly terrifying.

Once we had finally reached the homestead, I became more cognizant of where I placed my hands, fearing that Molly would notice and blurt everything out with excitement. However, even my own worries were doused in joy as I watched the children who had never owned a thing in their life run around the place they could call home. As innocent laughter filled my ears, I allowed a warm smile to drift across my lips. With a young child propped on his shoulders, Levi engaged in one last conversation with his friends before we reluctantly exchanged farewells.

"Come back and visit us anytime, you two!"

No matter how far we walked from the house, I could hear Molly loud and clear in the distance.

"Tch, she really is a fuckin' loudmouth," Levi sighed, allowing a slight chuckle to follow. Shifting his glance over to me when I didn't respond, Levi nudged me and cleared his throat, before linking his fingers with mine. "Oi, you feelin' shitty again?"

"No, no... I'm just still taking everything in. I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, it's nothing... just tired..."

"Hrm. Well, I'm tired and fucking filthy too, so let's just walk back and get cleaned up again before we call it a night. I doubt Historia will care."

Nodding, I was relieved to be returning to our room where I could hopefully clear my head. A warm fire and dry clothes sounded amazing. Yet, the only thing I focused on as we trekked back to the farmhouse was the feeling of his skin against mine. Our hands were clasped firmly together, yet our grip remained gentle and loving. Every once in a while, Levi would caress my hand with his thumb or subtly squeeze a bit tighter. Slowly, I allowed my eyes to wander upward to drink in his handsome profile. A sudden flutter filled my gut as I realized how nervous I had become. Even if I did decide to tell him after all, what words would I use? How would I phrase it?

...and what would he say?