Calamity || Glenn Rhee [2]

43

CHAPTER FORTY THREE » WHO
"Who the fuck–"

♔

It was dark.

I shifted into an upright position, my back pressed against the tree. Carl's letter was still clutched tight in my hands. I hadn't attempted to read it yet.

The pressure in my head had been building all day, a consequence of the tears that had been falling since last night, and dehydration. I reached beside me for my beg, rifling through the contents inside until I found a bottle of water. Pulling it out, I realised there was a tiny amount left in the bottom. I flipped the cap, tilting my head back as I shook the bottle, tasting the last couple drops of water on my tongue.

The woods was quiet, almost too quiet. The kind of quiet that put you on edge. I moved onto my knees, reaching into my jacket pocket and sliding my pocketknife out into my hand. If the Saviors were still around and knew I was alone, they would strike soon enough. And if they didn't kill me first, Rick and Michonne eventually would.

After we'd buried Carl in Alexandria, I'd left them behind to find the others at Hilltop, despite their resistance against the idea of me going out alone. I'd decided to give them no other choice, and had quietly slipped away whilst they were packing up the rest of their supplies. I knew the consequences of being out there by myself, but I couldn't face anything other than being alone to grieve. Being around other people and their own grief was becoming overwhelmingly suffocating.

I placed my knife in reaching distance beside me, unfolding Carl's letter in my hands, smiling to myself as my eyes skimmed over the untidy handwriting.

Blaire,

This is my third attempt at writing this. Your letter has been one of the hardest I've had to write, because I just don't quite know how to put into words how much you mean to me. However hard I try, I don't think words will ever do it, or you, enough justice.

A lot of memories have faded over the years we've been together, but I will always remember the first time I met you and Glenn along Atlanta highway. I thought you were super cool, even cooler than Shane (highest compliment I could give you back then). And then, months later, you and Glenn came back to camp with my Dad (your cool points increased even more). I'll be forever grateful for that. If you and Glenn hadn't chosen to risk your lives to help him back then, I would never have gotten the chance to spend these last few years with my dad. I won't ever forget that, and neither will he.

I don't think I ever appreciated the little things you did for me enough. Like, trying to help me with maths even though you were really bad at it. Finding me comics on supply runs – Glenn told me the amount of times you almost died trying to get hold of some of those.

And when my mom died, you were by my side the whole time. You made things a little less scary back then, you made things a little less scary when I lost my eye, and, even without being here with me, you're making things a little less scary right now.