Their Fae | B X B X B

Part Thirty Five

Ferris

I was stuck sulking in my hospital room for over a week before I was discharged and prescribed medicine that would help for any lingering pain. Before we left I was able to visit Zaelyn who had woken up a few days before and moved to another room. I was nervous to see him. What if he blamed me too? I wouldn't be too surprised. I forced myself to do it anyway just to see him for one last time. To say goodbye. Standing outside his room I was about to knock when the door opened and Helliux appeared, holding a phone. "Ferris, I'm glad to see you're doing well." He greeted with a stoic expression. I hung my head down in shame. "He's inside," he muttered before sliding past me. Usually he'd greet me with a smile but knowing his son almost died because of me would most likely change his view on me. I stepped into the room and closed the door quietly behind me. "Dad? I thought you had business to attend to." He called out, his elevated leg from peering over and seeing me. I slinked over, placing my shaking hand on the bedframe and peering over his elevated leg.

"Hi Zaelyn.." I muttered. His expression was unreadable at first, then his eyes lit up. Tears gleaned from the corners of his eyes as I realized this was the first time I'd be seeing him cry. I bent down and did my best to wrap my arms around him as he used the arm that wasn't shattered beyond belief to hug me back. Just as I was about to pull away he pulled my down closer and smashed our lips together. I let a few tears slip, happy that he actually wanted to see me. "I'm so glad you're okay!" He exclaimed as he broke away, our foreheads pressed together. I wanted to agree but instead I broke down crying. "I-I'm so sorry!" I managed to get out between sobs. He looked horrible with bandages and casts everywhere and it was all because of me. 

When my sobs calmed down he pulled me from his chest and did his best to wipe away my tears. "Ferris don't be stupid! What happened wasn't your fault." He scolded. I nodded again, not really taking his words into consideration. I got up and straightened myself out, wiping away the remaining tears Zaelyn couldn't  reach. There was a silence that neither of us wanted to break. My knees felt weak as I tried to come up with what to say. How do you even start a final goodbye? "Has Fraener talked to you? He keeps avoiding the subject," he grumbled. I hadn't forgotten about Fraener and I didn't want to start up another conversation about that to I simply shook my head. "You look awful." I stated while chewing on my bottom lip. "Yeah, but my right arm was practically untouched! I can still wank, so that's good.." he joked. I scoffed, but it came out more like a sob. "This is serious, Zaelyn."

He raised a brow. "I almost died. I have the right to make fun of it." He added with a smirk. My chest tightened as I frowned. I took a quick look at the clock then back at Zaelyn who had a curious look. "What?" He asked. I took a deep breath, clenching the ends of my shirt tighter causing my knuckles to whiten. "These past few weeks were- were-" I took another deep breath, the corners of my eyes threatening to spill even more tears. "They were great. Never in a million years did I expect to be boyfriends with you." I paused again, a lump appearing in my throat. Zaelyn's look of confusion turned to one of worry. "I knew this wouldn't last- but I didn't think it would end this quickly. Embarrassingly enough it was my first experience being in a relationship and I cannot express enough how much I loved."

"Ferris you're scaring me. Stop talking about us in past tense." Zaelyn ordered. "You guys treated me so well.." My voice was starting to break and so felt like I couldn't breathe. "And I ruined it. I-I hurt you. I kept secrets from you. I'm not cut out to be loved by you guys." I choked out before hot tears covered my cheeks. "Ferris stop this. You're being ridiculous." Zaelyn demanded tears also appearing. "We have to end this, Zaelyn." I stated. There was a shocked silence, one that didn't sit well with me at all. I wanted to throw up. "And do what?" He asked, bitterness taking on his tone. "Go back to the way things were? Before the summer palace. Before the waterpark. Before all the incidents. Hell, before the reunion!" I gave. He looked angry. "How the hell do I go back to the way things were without you?!"

I winced at his words and felt my heart stop working. Saying and hearing those words emitted almost physical pain. "This is for the best." I muttered. He scoffed. "You're starting to sound like Fraener." He grumbled, his eyes taking on a pissed-off look look. "I can't just forget about you, Ferris. You can't just pretend this never happened. We love you." He pleaded. My mind was a battlefield between two choices. Do what's right and cut it off before things get worse or enjoy being with them for- what? Two more months? I remained silent but he knew the answer. "I'm sorry." I repeated. The pain I was feeling was almost comparable to the pain I felt when the bomb set off. "Don't do this." He urged, a tear slipping down his cheek. I released my grip from my shirt and felt feeling return to my numbing hands. I took another deep breath and tried to not cave in. I was hurting him even more, but it was for a better outcome. "This is just a rough patch. Okay? Yeah, a rough patch. All couples go through them." I wasn't sure who he was trying to assure but it broke my heart even more. "Thank you so much. For everything." I quickly ended with a gleaming face of tears before I rushed out the room leaving him in his own silence. I pushed past the nurses and doctors, managing to make it into the bathrooms and into an empty men's room before I began uncontrollably sobbing. I had to remind myself that this was for the better but it was getting hard to convince myself when I couldn't hear my own thoughts over my sobs and weeps. There was a cramping in my stomach and what felt like a rock in my throat. This was definitely worse. Worse than any physical pain could provide. But this was for the better.

This was for the better.