The Devil's Dance

44

Katia

My mother invited us inside after she stopped crying, after we both stopped crying. Kandace just stood there watching us. I'm not sure how she remains so composed at all times. I wish I had gotten just a little of that DNA.
We're sitting at the dining room table now. She has left Kandace and I alone so she could put on some water for the tea she offered us. Now that most of the adrenaline has worn off maybe I hurt myself more than I realized.
The little boy runs in and stares at us. His eyes are green with bits of grey shining through. He smiles and offers Kandace the airplane in his hands. Kandace gently takes it from him.
"I made that." His little voice declares proudly.
"You did?" Kandace smiles inspecting the plane.
I've never really liked kids but he's cute.
"Me and my dad. My dad has a bunch of planes and pirate ships in little bottles!" He tells us.
"What's your name?" I ask.
"Kristopher." He pronounces it Kwistafa though and it's adorable. "I'm four."
"Is that with a C or a K?" I ask.
He shrugs.
"A K." My mom says carefully carrying three cups of tea to the table. "I have a thing for K names."
"Are you mommy's friends?" He asks.
Kandace and I look at each other. Unsure of what we should say.
"They're your sisters, Kristopher." Our mom says sitting down across from us. She says it so nonchalantly as though we're talking about the weather.
Kristopher stares at us. We can see the tiny wheels turning in his head.
Two guys walk into the room.
"There you go!" The slender guy from outside says picking Kristopher up.
"He's the sneakiest little thing." The other guy says. He's a little shorter than man one but more muscular. "You are supposed to be in bed, sir!"
Kristopher laughs and squeals.
"Katia, Kandace this is Marc and Lucas, my partners."
I blink. "Partners? Like you're dating both of them?" I ask.
They all chuckle.
"Yes." She says before sipping her tea.
"Nice to meet you two. I'm Lucas." He says.
"Marc and definitely. You're both very beautiful." Marc adds.
"Thanks." I say.
"Thank you." Kandace say with a little more vigor than me.
"We're going to go tuck this guy in." Marc says.
They disappear around the corner with Kristopher thrown over Marc's shoulder. He smiles and waves at Kandace and I as they take him back to bed.
"I'm sure you have a lot of questions." She says.
My leg is bouncing like Kandace's was before we met dad at the diner that time. At first I felt relieved that we found her. Now I'm anxious. I actually feel upset, almost angry. I can feel it bubbling. Here I am depressed and nearly killing myself thinking my mom didn't want me or maybe she just didn't want a family. Now I see she has exactly that. How am I supposed to feel? She left and started over without so much as a phone call. Not even a letter. A birthday card. Nothing.
Kandace and I sit here quietly. I guess neither of us can find the words. Though I did have so many questions prepared, they don't quite fit in the space between us now.
"I can't believe I'm looking at the two of you." She says. "You both grew up to be so beautiful." Her eyes linger on Kandace.
Kandace notices. "What?" She asks flipping her hair from her shoulder.
Our mother smiles, the lines around her mouth crinkle like a soft blanket. "I'm just glad to see you being the person you've always been."
"Oh." Kandace smiles weakly. "Well.. thank you."
"So you just left our family to make another one?" I ask. The words escape my mouth like felons on the run. I was thinking it but I didn't mean to say it.
"Ok." She says before clearing her throat. "Straight to the point then. You get that from your father." Her tone is icy when she refers to him. I don't like it. She goes on to tell us about her relationship with our dad. How they met and how they changed over the years and even more so after they had us. Their parenting styles clashed and caused a further rift between them. The final straw was when she tried to take Kandace away from my father.
"So.. when you took Kandace, why didn't you take me? Why didn't you say something to me?" I ask.
"What was I supposed to say?" She asks.
"Something." I say. "My whole life I felt like you just didn't want me or..or I wasn't good enough. You just left with one twin. What was I supposed to think?" My voice is getting louder than I meant it to. Kandace places a hand on my back.
My mom looks down at her cup and stirs her tea. "You're right and I'm sorry. At the time it just seemed like the right thing to do. I knew you would be okay with your dad."
"You didn't know anything." I mutter.
"Kat." Kandace says gently.
"It seems like you turned out okay." My mom says.
I blink and I start to laugh. "I what?! I am the furthest thing from okay. I don't even want to begin to tell you the types of issues I have." I stand up and look at Kandace. "I want to go."
Kandace's eyes widen. "Huh? Are you sure?"
"Yes." I say.
"Wait," my mom says, "there's more I have to tell you."
"I don't care." I hiss. "All this time you could have found me, found us, reached out. You didn't! You just made a different family! Did you ever really care about us?" I ask. Tears begin to flood her eyes but I don't care. I look at Kandace. "I'm going to the car." I storm out of the house and take in the outside air as if I've been holding my breath for the last ten minutes. Maybe I have been. This whole thing was a mistake. I can't believe I was foolish enough to think someone who never tried to find me wanted to be found. I should have listened to my dad. He's the one that has always stuck around.