The Devil's Dance

54

Christine

I've been sitting outside of Katia's door for almost an hour since she kicked me out. I don't understand why she's acting this way. I know what the doctor said but I've done nothing to upset her. I haven't so much as left the room since she's been admitted. How can she be mad at me? I hear the quick clicking of heels bounding towards me. No one except Kandace would be wearing those types of shoes in a hospital this early in the morning.
"Hey I left work as soon as you called. Is she still awake? What's going on? Why are you in the hallway?" Kandace asks all back to back.
"Yeah she's awake. She's just..." I shrug, "she's not herself. She kicked me out."
"What do you mean? Has she lost her memory or something?" Kandace looks worried. "Does she know who I am? Is she expecting Kaden!?"
"No. No. She knows who everyone is. I guess. She's just... mean now." That's the best way I can describe it.
Kandace rolls her eyes and pushes the door open. She's clearly not worried about the temperament of her twin. I follow her inside.
"Hey Kit Kat." Kandace says softly.
Katia is sitting on the bed with her arms folded. She looks annoyed that Kandace is here and that I've decided to invite myself back into the room. Even though she's mad, I still just want to see and be around her. I've missed seeing her with her eyes opened. I missed her voice, angry or not.
"Hi, Kandace." Her voice is flat and stale.
"How are you feeling?"
Katia squints her eyes in confusion and shrugs. "Oh I don't know. Just came out of a coma and my legs don't work. So if I had to guess... I'd say I was pretty fucking great."
Kandace chuckles and looks back at me. I shrug. "I told you." I say quietly.
"Okay. You can lose the attitude and stop acting like a bitch." Kandace says.
"You're the bitch. You don't even have to be here, Kandace. Nobody asked you to come." Katia snaps.
"Don't talk to me like that and don't be mean to Chris. Stop being a brat because you're sad. It's super fucked up you're in this situation, but I didn't do it to you and Chris sure as hell didn't do it to you. She hasn't left your side since you've gotten out of surgery. So end the pity party and be happy you have someone that actually gives a shit." Kandace flips her hair while Katia stares at her blankly. "Oh," Kandace continues, "and if you ever scare me like that again, I'll kill you myself."
Katia just lays her head back and doesn't say anything. It's quiet for a bit when suddenly she starts to cry. Not just a little bit, but inconsolable weeping. Kandace and I look at each other in silence.
"Are you in pain?" I ask.
She doesn't answer. She just keeps crying. Her cheeks turn red and the tears keep falling.
"Should I get a doctor?" Kandace asks me.
"No." She cries even harder.
"It's okay." I grab her hand in an effort to comfort her.
She pulls her hand away from me to wipe her eyes. After her eyes are dry she just lies there.
"Kat, why are you crying?" Kandace asks.
"Just leave me alone! It doesn't matter. I wish I would have just died when the car hit me." Katia whines.
The mere mention of her not being alive sends tension to my chest. I simply can not bear the thought. "Katia, don't say that. Don't you ever say that."
She draws her eyebrows together and angrily throws her hands up. "Why not, Chris? What difference does it make? It's not like I can walk or even dance anymore! I'm practically useless. Dancing was literally the only thing I was good at and now it's gone."
There's a quick knock at the door before it opens. Liv and Tori walk in. Oh great.
Olivia's eyes go wide and she smiles so wide it looks like it may hurt. "Katia!" She runs and wraps her arms around her.
Katia frowns. "Get off of me." She gently pushes Liv away.
This is awful of me to think, but I'm happy she's just as angry with her as she is with me. I'd be a bit jealous had she welcomed her with a warm embrace.
"Wha.." Liv frowns. "You're still mad at me? I thought we.." She looks as confused as she sounds. "Katia, I'm sorry. I should have never said those things to you. I regret all of it. I should have been at your wedding. It's my fault all of this happened. I'm so so sorry."
Katia rolls her eyes. "Okay and now what?"
"What?" Olivia asks.
"What am I supposed to do with that apology?" Katia's voice is cold and distant. She's nothing like the girl she was before. I could be imagining it, but even her eyes seem darker.
"Don't talk to her like that. She's been worried sick about you." Tori comes to Liv's defense.
"Boohoo." Katia rests her head against the pillow behind her. "Can you guys just go? I'm tired and I'd like some kind of privacy." Still her voice is flat. There's no emotion there at all.
"Come on guys. Let's just go." Kandace says. "I love you even though you're being a brat, Kat."
"Bye." Katia says.
Liv and Tori follow her out.
She looks at me. "I meant you too."
"No." I say.
"Why do we have to go through this. I don't want you here."
I sit in the recliner. "You say that but I don't think that's true. You're scared."
"I think the scariest part is over. Thanks." She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.
"Sure, but I'm not leaving you. Be mad. Hate me. I don't care." I grab a magazine and make myself comfortable.
"Well I guess you can stay but don't talk to me." She says.
"What makes you think I want to have a conversation with someone as peevish as you?" I ask.
She groans but doesn't say anything else. We sit in silence for a while. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her struggling to reach the remote. I take every ounce of my will to stay in my seat.
"Fuck!" She shouts.
"If you need help, say that."
She glares at me. "I don't need anything from you."
"Okay." I shrug and go back to my reading.
"Why are you even here?" Katia asks.
"Because I'm your wife. For better or worse, and hopefully this is the worst worse we'll see. Do you want the remote or not, Katia?"
"Yes." She mumbles.
I get up and hand it to her. She doesn't say thank you. Instead she just glues her eyes to the TV.
"You're welcome." I say.
Still, she says nothing. I sigh and just focus on the pictures in the magazine I have in my hands. I can tell this is going to be a very bumpy road, but I know the old Katia is buried somewhere beneath the hostility and anger. I know she's afraid. I'm going to love her through this. Even if it kills me.
It might.