She's Broken (He's Okay)

I Don't Know

Could this be love? Could I be out of my mind? Or could I be caught up in the thought of spending time?
                  - Vivian Green

Seana Washington

Working at the trap has its pros and cons. For one Sanity never told me he had a trap until recently. I thought that all of his money came from his businesses. I guess I didn't know him as well as I thought.

On the up side Snoop and I have grown closer than before. Probably closer than Sanity would allow but I don't care. I genuinely love Snoop as a person and for everything he's done for me. Snoop brings me lunch whenever I'm working here because I don't get a break like everyone else. Counting money can get repetitive and boring but I try to think positively.

"Two thousand five, two thousand six, two thousand sev—

"Seana! Where the fuck you at bitch?!" Of course he just had to inturrupt my counting. This was my last pile of the day and I've been counting for hours. It was almost time to leave but he wants to cause a scene.

"I'm in here. And stop screaming. You sound like you want attention." I was over his antics. Pretty sure I would pay for this but I couldn't care less. My life is already a living hell, there's no going back now.

"What the fuck you say?"

"I said you want att—

He cut me off by smacking me so hard. I'm pretty sure the sound echoed throughout the entire trap. And he had his rings on each finger. Another guaranteed mark to remember.

"For attention? For attention bitch? You think I yell for attention huh? Well I hope this get your attention."

He called everyone to the room we were currently in. I got scared looking at all of their intimidating faces but the one that really got me was Sanity's. His anger got out of control sometimes and it made me scared for my life.

"Everybody, I called y'all in here because she said I wanted attention. Now y'all know I don't need any attention. Isn't that right?"

They all nodded their heads like robots. They were all under his command and it was a scary sight. I mean he was a man who towered most people so I could understand why.

He grabbed a fistful of my hair and slammed my face into the desk. It started leaking instantly. It felt broken. All of his men watched in fear and sorrow. Some turned their backs so they wouldn't have to look.

One I recognised as Snoop's cousin slipped out the side door. Less than 5 minutes later Snoop ran in with his cousin behind him.

Snoop grabbed Sanity off of me and threw him into the wall. He started to brutally attack Sanity and I didn't feel an ounce of sympathy.

"Don't- Ever- Put- Ya- Hands- On- Her- Again!" He talked between each punch. He was getting carried away and I was scared for Sanity at this point. I rushed over and looked down at his face. I've seen that so many times.

Looking down I seen myself in him. I saw all of the terrible memories that were caused by him. Looking over his unconscious body I spit on him. All of the times he did that I felt low and disgusting. How does it feel Sanity?

"Let's get outta here lil mama." He grabbed my hand and walked me to his car. He opened my door and then he walked to his side. Sanity never opened the door for me so the feeling was great. This must be how women are supposed to be treated.

"Where are we going Snoop?"

"Home mama." Home? Where the fu— Home?!

"We going to my crib Sea." He must've seen the confusion on my face.

I leaned back in my seat and rolled down the window. The feeling of the air blowing through my hair felt relaxing. Almost euphoric. I felt as if I could finally let my hair down.

After a good 45 minutes we pulled up to his house. After he put the car in park he looked over at me. I don't know why but the look in his eyes made my stomach churn. Butterflies? He made me nervous and this was a feeling that could last forever.

"Sea?"

"Yes?"

"I just want you to know that you're a beautiful person. Inside and out. I really appreciate the love and light that you brought to my life. You made me feel like I had a real purpose in life. Helping you has given me a second chance that I've always wanted.

Hearing him speak those words about me made me cry a little bit. No one has ever told me that I contributed something in their lives. I always felt like a burden which is why I never ask for help. This really made me feel happy.

"Lil mama stop crying. You know what scratch that let it out. Let it all out okay. You are a strong person and even the strongest have to cry. Crying cleans the soul or some shit like that. I'm forever here for you."

He leaned in and so did I. In the moment I didn't think and I really couldn't care less. We kissed and it felt like fireworks went off. It wasn't sloppy or anything like that but it was pure bliss. His lips felt like my safe space and I could kiss him all night.

He pulled away and looked at me smiling. I smiled back and it felt like we were teenagers with crushes. This was what I wanted and needed. I needed someone to help me out and not take advantage of me. Not take advantage of my situation. To my surprise Snoopy was that person.

We walked into his home and I stood back and admired it.

"I know it's not what you're used to but I hope it's comfortable." It was comforting in Snoop's house. It felt homey and warm which is a feeling that I haven't felt in a while. At Sanity's place it's cold and it feels like you can never relax.

"It's perfect. Thanks so much Snoop." I gave him a hug and looked up into his eyes. He lifted my chin and pecked my lips a few times. I jumped in his arms and slipped my tongue into his mouth. He carried me up to his bedroom.

He kicked open the door with his foot and gently laid my back onto the bed. He kissed down my neck and I shuddered. His touch alone made my body melt. I would have never expected to react like this.

He made his way back to my mouth and after a good 5 minutes of passionate kissing he stopped. He gave them a few light pecks and then walked over to his drawer.

I expected him to come back with a condom but to my surprise it was a pair of boxers and an oversized sweatshirt. I looked at him and he spoke as if he read my mind.

"Trust me, I would love to do that with you Seana but not at this moment. I don't want to take advantage of your vulnerability. You want to feel something, anything in order to feel love but baby girl sex is not love. When the time comes I will show you what true love feels like sexually, but for now I'm showing you love mentally. You don't deserve average sex, you deserve love making lil mama. Imma give it to you I promise, just be patient with me. I love you Seana Washington."

With that he kissed my forehead and walked to the bathroom. I heard the shower running and he came back out.

"I ran you a bath. You can wash up while I use the shower."

After cleaning up and getting dressed I laid down on his satin sheets. Soon he joined and we laid there staring into each other's eyes. We talked all night until we fell asleep.

I woke up out of my sleep from the sound of a creaking door and looked up at an angry Sanity. Not only was he angry but he was pointing a gun towards Snoopy's head.  I froze. I did the only thing that I could do in the moment.

"San—

Hellloooooo Long time no read lol get it😂😂😂But I was trying to catch up on school work and what not and next thing I know a month has passed us by...I promise the next update will be in this month💕I hope you guys can forgive me...love you All until next time ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾