I Want Back The Years That You Took When I Was Young

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SONG OF THE CHAPTER: I Don't Feel It Anymore (Song Of The Sparrow)

BY: William Fitzsimmons

"I want back the
years that you took
when I was young
I was young,
I was young,
but it's done
Oh take it all away
I don't feel it anymore..."

Vic's P.O.V

According to Joanne, group therapy had been delayed two hours. Why? I don't know and I don't really care, but I was thankful and I'm sure everyone else was too.

Kellin and I were just walking around, not saying anything when the thought of him getting tired of me began creeping into my mind. I've only gotten close to one other person like this... If I start getting close to someone, my brains usually tries to convince me that they hate me and want nothing to do with me; most of the time, this isn't the case. But I believe it is, therefore, I push them away thinking they never liked me in the first place.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" I blurt out. Kellin and I both stop in our tracks to nowhere and he turns to me, looking disappointed.

"Do you not want to be around me?" He asks with a small voice. It was only then that I realized, Kellin was having the same thoughts I was.

"Well, no, I just-... I feel like I'm annoying you." I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

Kellin let's out a nervous laugh, "I feel like I'm annoying you!"

"You're not!" I said a little too quickly,"I'm not- I'm not bothering you, am I?" I ask him, feeling a little better.

"No! I like hanging out with you." He smiles.

"Good..." I nod, smiling as we start walking again.

We had eventually made our way to the rec room, but both decided not to go in because that's were most of the other patients were. So we just sat against the wall, right outside of the rec room. We didn't talk about much, just a little about the other patients here and I watched as he absentmindedly scratched at the leather-like surface of his journal. As I let my fingertips dance over his, a sudden thought popped in my mind.

"Where the hell has Miranda been?"

Kellin takes a breath and looks down, "She-...uhh, she got in trouble."

"What'd she do?" I asked, lightly elbowing Kellin. He didn't say anything or look up at me.

"You know she told me what you did when you got sent to confinement." I reminded him, trying to get him to tell me. He bit his lip, rolling his eyes and eventually started talking.

"She kept trying to bang her head into the walls, and-... and she attacked her roommate or something..." Kellin shrugged, keeping his eyes ahead.

"Why?" I ask.

He shrugs again, "Some days, she just snaps."

I nod, knowing exactly what it feels like to 'just snap'... after all; that's what happened to me.

Then again... I was put through a lot of shit. I didn't just snap for no reason... There had been years and years of pain built up inside me from the time I was really young. Not that there should have been... A child should never have that much pain building up inside them. Not ever. What happened to me was-... Well, if I could find the word for it, I would say it. But for now, I can't. I don't think a word has yet been invented to describe the level of torture I was forced to face as a child. Mentally & physically. What happened to me could be a possible reason for ending up the way I did... So, how did Miranda get to where she is? Something had to have happened, right? I remember what Alex told me...but that was her snap. I want to know what led up to that. Like I've said before: Nobody is born crazy.

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