Ever Since

Loren

Friday

"I may go here a lot but it's not my dorm" I say playfully as Jeremiah makes the turn.

"There's the Loren humor I love" he says studying me after yesterday's drama with Bradley. "Are you better now?"

What Bradley texted me hit on the car ride back with Jeremiah. The high of the fun I had went away faster than I would've thought. It's a rollercoaster of emotions with him and just as fast as I go up, I crash harder down.

I kept looking at the 200 missed calls I've had from him and think of answering but I can't bring myself to do it. He's probably calling because he was a drunk mess when he texted me and now he wants to apologize. It's not going to happen, no guy is ever going to talk to me that way and I'll just forgive them. No one. Not even a guy like Bradley Underwood.

He fucked up and he knows it.

"A little better" I say quietly.

"It'll take a second. I have to go get something" Jeremiah says and I nod.

I watch him jog the library and zone out again, Bradley in my head constantly. I snap out of it when Ben sends me a text. He texted me this morning to make sure I'm okay after seeing me clearly upset and it turned into me and him texting in delays since yesterday. He's actually nicer than I remembered.

I still have to catch myself that I'm actually talking to a guy I've been obsessing over for so long.

Ben
'Good! I'm happy you're better'
'Wyd?'

Me
'Just with Jeremiah'
'You?'

He starts tying and then the three little dots go away. I close the app and play on my phone until Jeremiah comes back. He gets in the car quickly and starts driving while putting his seatbelt.

"Why are you in such a rush?" I ask concerned. "Did something happen?"

"It's nothing" he says but I can tell he's lying. "I didn't want to keep you waiting"

I think whether to press it but decide I don't want to know. I have too much on my plate as it is to have more drama that may not be related to me.

"Thanks for forcing me out yesterday and today. I had a great time at the mall with you" I say meaning it.

Jeremiah smiles big. "It's important for me that you don't let that asshole ruin your spirit. I hope you won't let him continue"

I look away and play with my hands. "I won't"

"I know you don't want to show me what he wrote but if what he said made you shut him out, it must be fucked up"

It is. It's so fucked up but I hate how curious I am to know why he called so many times.

"Yeah... I'm pretty much done with him" I say trying my best to convince myself.

Jeremiah pulls up to my dorm on Block A and I hug him goodbye. I wave before I get into the building and he smiles and heads out of the parking lot.