Ever Since

Loren

"Loren, calm down" Bradley say holding me tightly when I lose it. My movements and shoves are making Bradley nauseous from how pissed he is. The amount of bottles rattling on the bed and falling to the ground are alarming.

No... no... I didn't do it. It's not real.

"Oh my god" I sob through the tears choking me. The footage of Bradley and Stephanie just talking in that bedroom actually feels like it's killing me. "This isn't real"

Bradley flips me over to my stomach and pins me down, looking at me with those gray eyes barley able to focus. I can't focus on him either from the tears blocking my view.

"After you left with fucking Grayson Bush, the frat asshole, I lost it. I raced back to the bedroom with a bottle of tequila and drank myself away both because I believed  you left for good and because of what step—" he says and I take deep breathes.

"But somehow luckily, when I was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, feeling like I'm drowning, I spotted a security camera. I asked Indie to get a hold of the owner and he sent me the file of the exact time I was here talking to Stephanie as proof to you that we didn't do anything" he says never leaving his eyes off me. "It's real, I would never hurt you like that, I promise"

He though I meant the video isn't real. Oh my fucking god that's even worse.

I force out a smile and Bradley lights up. He kisses me gently and wipes the tears out of my eyes.

"It's okay... just relax" He whispers calmly in my ear and grabs me closer to him to make me feel better.

My tears are dropping on his arm and I hate how he doesn't even know why I'm crying.

"Thank you for coming back" Bradley says quietly.

"I'm so sorry, Bradley" I whisper thinking he wouldn't hear me.

"I love you, everything is okay. This is all on me. Everything is" Bradley slurs entangling his hand in mine. "You have nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong... okay?"

Stop, you're just making it horrible.

I close my mouth and try my best to stop from losing it again at what Bradley said.

"Okay" I whisper and my voice breaks but Bradley is already asleep against me.

Friday

Bradley keeps glancing at me while we're driving over to his parents summer house in Malibu for break. He's running his thumb over my hand on my lap.

I smile my best smile, trying to act as normal as possible until I can bring myself to lay the bomb on Bradley. It's a real talent to mask your emotions and I hate that life has mad me so good at doing it.

The night lights outside are shinning on his beautiful face when I turn to him. When he catches me, he pulls my hand to his lips, kissing it gently.

"Can't believe we're going back to Malibu completely different from last time" Bradley says and I can see he's replaying last time in his head.

"I remember I told you I wanted to go back to LA"

"Ten minutes before arriving" he says and we laugh.