Pure

Four - Waking Up and Looking Back

Four - Waking Up and Looking Back
I couldn't sleep. It was about 3am in the morning and I woke up after dreaming about Liam. I couldn't take it anymore. It had been 4 days since Liam and I kissed and we haven't spoken since. I want to know that everything's alright. I turn on my table lamp and dial Liam's number into my phone and listen to it ring as I wait for him to pick up. I quietly whisper wishes for him to do so before I hear his voice.

"Hello?"

"Liam, I need you. Could you come over?" I ask.

"Cher it's too early for this."

"Please. I'm scared." I hear the sound of his sigh. For the first time in our relationship I'm not the one who's annoyed.

"Okay. But you're not going to try anything are you?"

"Of course not."

"Good. I'll see you in a little bit."

"I love you."

"I know;" he pauses. "Bye."

Sometimes this stuff hurts. I respect Liam's decisions in life; and I hate when a boyfriend is touchy; but this makes me feel unwanted. I wish he seemed more in love with me. But I can't get him to even say that he loves me. Settling for a virgin isn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.

I knew he wouldn't go knobbing but I didn't realise that he wouldn't even really hold me. I wish I knew. I sit there, laying in my bed waiting for Liam as I remind myself of one thing. His virginity means that he belongs to me and never truly to anyone else. It means that as long as I stay with him it'll be something special between us two. It means that he is special. And that I should be grateful to have him by my side.

----

I wake up a few moments later after drifting into sleep. I hear the door unlocking and I immediately realise that it's Liam coming in. The door open and shuts; and then Liam comes walking into my bedroom. He stops in the door way and stares at me.

"I'm awake. Thanks for coming Liam."

"You're welcome." He says.

I pull a space off on my blanket revealing my body but the purpose was to make space for Liam. He walks over to me and sits up against the headboard on the space I made.

"Why'd you wait to see me? I hate when you stare at me like that." I tell him.

"Um; I came after I saw you have clothes on because my last girlfriend and I had a moment where she invited me over and was laying naked under her comforter. She broke up with me after I ran."

I can't help myself; I can tell Liam is being dead serious with me but I laugh.

"It's not funny Cher." He mumbles grumpily.

"I'm sorry Liam; I wouldn't do that to you."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome baby." I wanna kiss Liam because of his cuteness. But I decide against it.

"Why did you want me here?"

"Because I was scared."

"Of what?"

"We hadn't talked in a while; I was scared our kiss scared you away."

"Don't worry about that. I don't know where I would go without you. Plus, I kind of liked kissing you."

"You liked it?"

"Yeah; I like you Cher. I've only had one girlfriend but; you're the best in the world."

"How sweet." I pinch his cute cheek.

"Thank you."

"Is there anything I might've missed in your life?"

"Nothing much; I passed a few tests and exams."

"Good."

"I didn't do much without you."

"Besides hang with Katie the first day, me neither."

"I wonder what I did without you."

"Mhm." I shrug. "I was a whore you were just the lonely sweet guy I guess."

"You weren't like that."

"What do you know about me?"

"No one called you that; you seemed more like a hard to get feisty to me."

"Never settling down and never actually wanting to makes me a slut Liam. Admitting to your date that you're not pure is slutty. Do you get society at all?"

"I don't like society."

"Ah." I pretend to be amazed.

"If you're good you're bad and if you're bad you're hated. If I'm skinny I'm anorexic, and if I'm fat then I'm ugly. It's not fair or right."

"I know Liam."

"I wish people were nicer."

"Yeah Liam; me too. Why do you think my first wasn't my special someone?"

"He was mean?"

"Yeah; and I was stupid. I shouldn't have done that because I was asking for his heart but he was only willing to give his body, for the night, for mine. But if my heart was a bonus he was gonna give it back."

"That doesn't make you dirty; one little mistake and naïve moment and now you're promiscuous." he pauses.

"Don't be ignorant I've slept with Brent and Harry too."

"Three's not a lot." He says seeming like he's trying to comfort me although he believes otherwise.

"Well, I snogged Daniel before I told him to stop and three is a lot for something so physical and personal."

"OK; I don't know what happened in any of those circumstances, but I think you sold yourself short. You should be hard to get because you're Cher; my reigning princess of everything. I'll add the first reason to wait on my list "because Cher deserves the best guy possible.""

"Awe; I love you." I start. "But why aren't there reasons on your list, I thought that there was a reason for your behavior."

"Technically there is. Pure till marriage allows me to be 100% aaZ to my future mate. I'm too nervous to actually touch a girl. And I don't know how to do it anyways. But technically there isn't a reason coz I wasn't planning on this."

"I see."

"But I'm gonna stop talking about it now coz it's unchaste."

"OK."

Later that morning Liam gets up and lays on the couch to finish getting his rest. But I'm happy he came; now I'm reassured of his love.