Hundred miles apart - another Malec Story

Chapter 45

Alexander POV

*3 months later*

I was laying in my bed and just starred into the air. It was late, really late. Normally I would sleep but I couldn't. It's been three months since I saw Magnus the last time.

We haven't talked since Monday and it's Friday - well, actually Saturday morning. I missed him so bad. It's painful. Everytime I was laying in my bed, I wished he was next to me, but he wasn't. We will meet again in one month because that's when my summer holidays start. That's still such a long time.

I don't want to wait. I want him here, right now. I missed everything about him. His voice, his smell, his face, his lips - just everything.

I don't know why we haven't talked for three days. I guess he was just busy. I mean, I was too but I was never too busy for Magnus. I would stop whatever I was doing just if he messages me. Sometimes I went out of my class to call him. It's unusual for him, because he actually messages me everyday.

Well, it's not like he doesn't reply, but he just reply's with dead answers. Maybe I did something wrong? But what? And why wouldn't he tell me? Okay, calm down, Alec. Everything is fine, he's just busy.

Maybe he found someone else? Would he ever do that? No, he wouldn't. Or would he? I mean, there are tons of better guys. Why should he stay with me. At least these people live near him. Alec, Stop!

I tried to sleep. I closed my eyes and tried to not think of any of that. I failed, of course. I opened my eyes again, sat up and took my phone which was on my side table.

It was 02:24 a.m. He was probably sleeping so I shouldn't call him, right? I should put my phone away and let him sleep. Somehow that thought didn't help at all because without any hesitation I dialed his number.

It was beeping, so his phone wasn't turned off. Right when I thought he wouldn't picked, he did.

„Alexander?" he said with a really sleepy voice. Now I felt bad for waking him up. Why am I so stupid?

„Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up." I said with sorrow. He's probably already stressed out enough and now I don't let him sleep.

„It's fine, are you okay?" he asked and I sighed. Was I okay? „Alexander, talk to me." he said worried.

„No - I mean yes.. I don't know." I answered. Magnus sighed. Was he annoyed? I mean I couldn't even be mad because it was half past two in the morning.

„What happened?" he asked. I shrugged but then I realized he couldn't see it. I guess I was tired too.

„Nothing actually. I just couldn't sleep because I was thinking about too many things." I said. Suddenly I felt like crying. Not only because of all these things, but also because I have the feeling he's fading away. As if I was losing him.

„What about?" he asked. „I mean only if you want to tell me." he said.

„You were so distant." I answered shyly. Now he sighed again.

„I know, I'm sorry." he said still sleepy, but not as much as in the beginning.

„Don't be, I was just wondering why." I said. „I mean did I do something wrong or did you find someone new?" I added a little sadly.

„Alexa—

„I mean, it's not like you are supposed to talk to me all the time but if we're not I'm scared that you're with someone else or that I may lose you or—

„Alexander!!" he interrupted me a bit louder. I sighed. „No, you didn't something wrong and neither did I find someone new. How could you even think about something like that?" he asked. I still felt like crying, now even worse than before.

„I don't know, I just have the feeling that I lose you." I answered and a tear ran down my cheek.

„What? No, you won't lose me." he said.

„I couldn't." I answered sadly.

„Are you crying?" he asked worried. I sighed. I actually hoped he wouldn't hear it.

„I just miss you so bad." I answered. Oh, how I did...

„I miss you too, Alexander and I love you so much." he answered. „I'm sorry I didn't message you, I was just really stressed." he answered. Now I felt stupid for calling him. I felt stupid for crying. Since when am I this vulnerable?

„Okay." was all that I answered.

„We will see again in one month." he said. „That may seem long but it's not." he added. I laid back down again.

„Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry for bothering you." I said. He laughed a little.

„You could never bother me." he answered. „Oh btw, I wanted to call you anyways and tell you that have to send me pictures of you in your suit. You know, when you go to your prom." he said and I grinned.

„I'll see what I can do." I said smiling.

„With who are you going? I hope not with any guy." he said and I laughed.

„No, I'm going with Lydia. Since she knows I'm gay, we've become really good friends." I told him. Now she knows that she has no chances with me so she treats me different. More like a friend.

„That's good to hear." he said. „I'm sure you two will look great." he said. I smiled.

We talked for one more hour, until we both fell asleep and the call ended. It was what I needed. Now the one month doesn't feel that far anymore.