F**k it, I love you. | Lana + Marina

Chapter Four

Two Weeks Later,

Marina's Point of View.

. . .

Fuck. I knew from the beginning that life in LA was going to be mad. But I didn't know it was this mad.

Every day since moving here I've either had a meeting, a studio session, or something else work related. I've barely been able to catch my breath. So much for wanting to catch up with old friends and be able to enjoy living here, I haven't been able to do so just yet with everything going on around me.

I sit next to Phillip at one of my regularly scheduled afternoon meetings. We're discussing promotional methods for the record I have planned for release early next year. It seems like a while away, but I know soon enough that the drop date will arrive in a blink of an eye. 

I'm so grateful to be here and happy to know I'm finally releasing new music. I'm grateful to have this opportunity. I'm grateful for my fans, I owe everything to my diamonds. I wouldn't be sitting here if it weren't for them. But to have a day off to relax and enjoy my life here, that would be terrific.

"What do you think, Marina?" Phillip turns to me. I look around at the others attending the meeting, there are eight of us and we're sitting in a formal room at a round conference table. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, anticipating my response.

"I'm sorry?" is all I can manage to get out.

A man sitting across from me chimes in,

"Billboards to promote the album?" He says before scoffing.

"She isn't listening to anything we're saying." Another chimes in. I suddenly feel a cross between nervous and embarrassed, as I've been put on the spot in this way. I deserve it, though.

Phillip cuts in by putting his hand over mine. He gives me a concerned, yet understanding look. He can surely tell I became shy regarding the previous comments.

"Marina," he starts, "We're going to put billboards around the Los Angeles area. Some around Hollywood and West Hollywood, a few downtown, and a couple in Long Beach.." His voice is calming.

"Oh, yes, that sounds good to me," I nod.

Phillip mimics my nod, "We're also going to set you up on a local radio station to do an interview." He finishes.

"Brilliant!" I smile.

. . .

A half hour passes and the meeting concludes. I'm quick to exit the building. As I step outside I'm met with a dim LA evening. Damn, we must have been in there longer than I thought for it to already be dark outside. 

Phillip exits simultaneously and leads me to his car. I hop into the passenger seat.

"Marina..." He shuts the door behind him and starts the engine. I'm not prepared for his imminent lecture.

"Have you been alright? I know we've had you on the go non-stop, but I'm sensing something else is wrong?" He nudges me.

"Not really, honestly." I start, "I've just been tired and longing to go explore LA life and see how it's like to be a local here." I pause. "And to catch up with the ones I haven't seen in since last time I was here." He nods, understandingly. 

"I see." 

I look out the window to avoid an awkward silence. The bright lights of Hollywood look back at me. I can't help but to awe at this beautiful city.

"Don't see much of this in London, hm?" Phillip asks, I guess he wants to avoid the previous conversation.

"It's not that we don't have pretty lights and fancy sights in London, there's just something about Hollywood that's-"

"Special?" He cuts me off.

"It is indeed special. There's just something about it." I exclaim.

"Isn't it something?" He asks.

"It's magnificent." I just wish I could take the time to properly enjoy it.

We continue down the boulevard and I resume taking in the magic around me.

"You know, Marina," He sounds uneasy, as if he's about to tell me something I don't want to hear,

"I know you want to spend time and enjoy it here, and trust me, that time will come. But right now we're in a crucial part of your career. You came here because you wanted to give it all you got in this industry, and that's what I'm pushing you to do. That's why I'm having you work every day."

"I know, and I appreciate that." I rest my head on the window, "I am tired, though."

He sighs, "I understand, we'll work something out, okay?"

"I hope so," I say, closing my eyes.

. . .

I open up the door, slide out of the car, and wave Phillip goodbye before heading inside my house. Once I step in, I am faced with silence. It's strange really; I'm out all day, around people and always ready to come back home, but once I'm back here all I want is to be in the presence of someone again. As I slither into bed my brain begins thinking about my encounter with Lana two weeks back. Oh, how I wish she would 'hit me up' like she said she would. I could really use someone like her. She used to give me the best advice about my music, and make me feel one of a kind in a world full of talented artists. She was my superstar. But even if she did reach out, it's not like I would be able to reciprocate anyways. Unless Phillip truly does work something out with my schedule. I hope he's not giving me false hope.

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