F**k it, I love you. | Lana + Marina

Chapter Nine

I walk towards the studio, trying to force myself into a better mood to start the day on a good note. The memories from the night before re-enter my mind and I feel my cheeks become hot at the thought of Lana's gentle voice and electric touch.

"Someone looks happy today." I hear a familiar voice say as I step inside, I turn my head and find Phillip, standing at the doorway.

"What are you doing here, Phillip?" I ask, taken by surprise. It's not typical of him to join me at a recording.

"I have time to spare and I'm concerned about you and this album. This is your second to last day of recording."

"Have you tried to postpone the date?"

He nods, "I've tried, Marina, but I have't been able to work anything out. The label is strict. You're committed."

"Fuck. Okay."

"You're sounding better, though. And you look better." He claims.

"Yeah, I feel a little better. Throat is still scratchy but I've been taking medicine and drinking tea."

"You're supposed to be resting your voice, too. Have you been staying quiet while at home?" He asks.

"Not exactly..." I trail.

"Well, regardless," He begins, "You sound better for sure. Just take it one song at a time and James will assist you through it as always. I'll be going now, I'm just stopping in to see your condition. It's looking bright. One more day after this one, Marina. I believe in you."

I give him a thankful smile and start towards the booth where James and Joel are already setting up the equipment.

"By the way," Phillip calls, "I saw Lana drop you off." He winks, insinuating something I can't quite figure out, before exiting.

. . .

The day of recording passes me by. It's 8pm. James, Joel, and I have finished two more tracks. That means one left to go, and one more day to record. The soar-ness in my throat has returned, this time much worse than before. It feels like I've swallowed razor blades. 

For a second I think about how stupid I am to completely disregard everything the doctor had told me, but this record is too important to me. My career is too important to me.

"How are you holding up, Diamandis?" Joel calls from his piano.

"C-" I cough. "Could be better," I mutter, "Are we finished?"

"Just about, Marina." James states. "You two are good to go but I'm going to finish up in here."

I take off my headset and switch off the microphone before exiting. I wanted to wish the boys a good night but I couldn't get myself to. I feel choked up, even breathing pains me. I want to cry until the burning in my throat stops.

Only one recording day left. Even though I feel like absolute shit, I must push myself through. I can't let everyone down, and I can't let myself down. It figures, honestly - right as things were starting to look bright, it all comes crashing down again. Just my luck.

I sigh to myself and ring an Uber back home to Studio City. I put in my airpods while I wait and play Venice Bitch, my new go-to song. Lana's voice is the only thing that's able to make me feel an ounce better.

. . .

Lana's Point of View

I arrive home after a busy day including interviews, writing with Jack Antonoff (which didn't end up successful; instead of doing anything productive we ended up fucking around and being lazy.) As well as few, rather boring, business errands. On top of running around all afternoon, I also feel slight Marina withdrawal, if that's even possible. She's been running through my mind ever since I dropped her off this morning.

"Bro, I haven't seen you all day." Chuck states as I shut the front door behind me, "You didn't even text me that you weren't coming home last night and I didn't get a chance to see you this morning either." 

"Since when have you cared this much about my whereabouts?" I ask, taking off my shoes and walking to the kitchen where I find Chuck making dinner.

"I dunno. Would be nice to have a heads up, I guess." She hits her vape and then tosses it to me. She can tell I'm not in a great mood. I take a lengthy hit from the pod. I don't know what flavor she's using, but it's not peach which is what I normally go for.

"So tell me about Marina. How is she?" Chuck asks.

I take another hit of her vape before handing it back to her and sitting at the counter.

"She's in a tough spot, but she's working it out." I don't feel like going into details.

"Poor thing. Is that why you spent the night?"

"Yeah."

"Oookay. Busy day, Liz?"

"Yeah."

"Damn, you're moody. What's up?" She pushes.

All work bothers aside, Marina is what's up. But I'm not sure if I should tell Chuck the truth about my feelings towards her quite yet, whatever those feelings are. Even I don't know. All I do know is that I miss the little Greek angel, and love being around her. 

"I don't know." I conclude.

"Yeah you do." She argues, setting a plate of food in front of me, "Homemade spaghetti. Mom's recipe." She announces.

"Thanks, sis."

"So what's really going on with Marina?" She asks, sitting down across from me and taking a bite from her plate, "Don't think I don't realize what's going on."

"Wh-" I stutter, "What do you mean?"

She laughs, "Dude, it's not like you to randomly invite yourself over to someone's house. And then spend the night with them on a whim."

I take a bite of my food, stalling to find a justification,

"She's a friend."

Chuck raises an eyebrow at my response, obviously not buying it.

"A good friend." I state.

"Mhm. Yup." Chuck smiles.

"What are you insinuating?"

"Nothing, I just can't help but notice the way you talk about her. You get this dumb-ass smile on your face."

I take another bite of food, disregarding what she said.

"Are you..." She draws out, "Do you like her?"

"I..." I can't think of a proper response. I truly don't know how I feel, or what I want.

"She makes me happy." I conclude.

"I'm going to take that as a yes?" She questions.

"I don't know, Chuck, why are you pushing it so much?"

"You're never open with me anymore. We're sisters. I like to know what's going on in that head of yours." 

I roll my eyes.

"Do you like her?" She repeats.

"I..."

Before I'm able to find words, my phone buzzes from inside my pocket. I reach for it, discovering it's a text from Marina;

Are you doing anything? If not, please come over. I need you.

"Shit, Chuck, I have to go." I announce, getting up from my seat.

"Leaving again so soon?" She asks.

"Mhm. Thanks for dinner. I'll see you soon." I quickly rummage together a few things before heading to Marina's house.

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A bit of a boring, filler chapter. i hope you don't mind. the plot will start picking up soooon. >:)

next chapter will be up tomorrow