It Started With A Drunk Kiss (Zayn Malik Fan Fiction) [EDITING] COMPLETED

Chapter 33 - A Clean Slate

I woke up Saturday morning feeling absolutely drained. I cried myself to sleep last night and I felt absolutely guilty for letting my dad hear me sob through the thin walls for a majority of the night. I explained everything to him at about 3am in the morning when he asked me if I was alright – which I clearly wasn’t.

Dad left for work and I had to fend for myself for the weekend. With my puffy eyes and my numb body I forced myself to eat some cereal, even though I was almost certain I would just throw it back up.

I tried focusing on study, but every half an hour my phone would vibrate or beep and I’d get missed calls or texts saying ‘Call me. Please.’ from Zayn. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen between us, whether we were going to stay friends or just go separate. I hoped we could just go our own ways so we both could move on and that our days and troubles together were just a horrible chapter in our book of memories. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed being with him, wrapping my arms around his skinny body and feeling his stubble tickling my face whenever he hugged me. I loved the way he squinted and his eyelashes became more obvious when he was trying to figure me out, but most of all I loved it how I was the only thing running through his mind and top of his priorities. I would miss it all, but I can’t ignore the fact that I had gotten in between his relationship with Delta (for good reasons or for worse), hurt him when I had amnesia and remembered every possible face except his and have Josh’s friends chase up Zayn. Because of me.

Zayn moving on would make him happy. He would get 100% out of his new relationship, not 99% like with me. Although right now it feels like his face is in every reflection, every canvas and in every memory and that it’s impossible for me to forget him, I’m sure I’ll find another guy who I can have a new chance with. A clean slate.

When Zayn had left over 12 missed calls, I eventually decided to pick up. I was petrified of talking to him, facing what I had let go and having a taste of something I can’t have. It’s the worst feeling in this world; but at least I didn’t have to talk face to face with him.  When I answered, my hands were shaking and my voice was croaky. I would’ve possibly cried, but I had no more tears left in me.

“Zayn, what do you want?” I said blatantly. I wasn’t going to dawdle around; I’m just going to go straight to the point.

“I want to talk. You’re insane you know.” He replied. He didn’t seem upset or even angry anymore. It was as if he thought this entire thing was a joke.

“No. I’m not. I’m not your girlfriend anymore, and when I hang up I want you to delete my number and never call me again.”

“So we can’t be friends?” He spoke softly. I could hear the hurt in his voice and I felt a pang of guilt hit me right in the chest.

“It’s the best for you Zayn. I just want to make you happy,”

“Then why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me like this?”

I stood still for a second with my mouth hanging open and tears trickling down my cheeks. I blinked them out of my eyes and had to bite my hand to hold back a sob. I sniffled and tried to get a hold of myself.

“Because…I…”

“I know you’re crying. We’re both miserable. Hope, can’t you see what’s happening? I’ll give you some time to think this through, but on Monday I’ll be waiting by your locker with a bouquet of flowers and kisses.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want Zayn to be chasing after something which will end up tragically. Not that dumping your disabled boyfriend after your ex’s friends beat him up isn’t a tragic ending anyway. I didn’t what to say what I had next in mind, but it was my only option.