broken ghosts

part eighteen

As you were locked in Taehyung's bathroom and you could hear his and Jungkook's muffled voice talking about you, you felt like suffocating suddenly. That's why you left without telling them, to avoid having to argue with them on whether you could go out at this time or not.

You didn't really know how you ended up here after that but it felt right. You were at the hill Jungkook and Taehyung used to go to when you weren't there, the happy place Taehyung and you decided it would be. But as much as the city underneath looked beautiful, it didn't make you feel any better this time.

You let your eyes wonder in the dark scenery facing you as you got lost in your thoughts. Little by little, more memories came back to your mind, shivers running down your spine.

How you were in the dark most of the time, kept in your little room. How he always said sorry when he gave you food but still locked the door twice a few seconds later. How he gave you the local newspaper every day to keep you occupied but there were always some pages missing at the beginning, probably because they were talking about you. How he would spend long minutes hurting you every time you tried to escape but would then give you extra food the following days.

The more you thought about it, the more his behavior seemed weird to you. It was like he was two persons at the same time, one keeping you locked and not caring and the other feeling bad and trying to get forgiven.

And as you let all those memories come back to your mind, it finally hit you. Your friend from High School betrayed you in a way you would never have thought he would. Hoseok, your dear friend for years, kidnapped you and kept you locked for three years. He stole three years that should have been beautiful years from you. And you let him come back in your life as soon as you escaped his control, you let him seduce you and gave him all your trust.

And as you realized this, finally it all became too much. Finally, the pain that had been eating you from inside was suffocating you. The sadness was choking you and you couldn't hold on anymore. You burst in tears as your hands started shaking.

Hardly breathing, tears were flowing from your eyes as if there was no end to it. You gripped the guardrail to keep your balance, your legs feeling too weak to support you suddenly. The world was turning around you and everything was blurry.

You coughed, struggling to take a breath between your sobs. It was happening now. Finally, the pain wasn't numb or buried deep inside you anymore, it was exploding in your heart, your head, your guts.

It felt like your heart was being torn apart as all your demons invaded your head. You fell on the ground, your legs not strong enough to support you anymore. You tried to scream to feel better. Your voice broke, just like you.

After waiting for weeks for this, you wanted it to stop now. Maybe not feeling anything was better than feeling everything too much in the end.

"Y/N !" a voice you knew by heart echoed behind you. You didn't even have the strength to look at him, all your thoughts focused on the burning pain consuming you.

You heard him run before feeling two strong arms surrounding you. You immediately wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. He pulled you close to him, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent as if he had been craving this for too long.

"It's okay, I'm here now," he whispered as you sobbed even more. He softly cradled you as he held you tightly. Your breath became calmer in his embrace.

"Jungkook," you whispered, your voice breaking slightly, "it hurts."

"I know," he kissed your forehead softly as tears stopped flowing little by little, "I promise you it gets easier."