|Eighteen|

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"When I met Nani, she recognized me in an instant, as if mom's face was fresh like yesterday. I tried to reach upto her, but stopped by a sudden thunder from behind. It was him, my so called grandfather. He is very direct, lethal and unapologetic, on what he wants from me. Next few minutes which were like ages; I, stood on the door, heard eveything, so many abbreviations of me. He didn't even flinched a bit, while, wounding every part of me with his poison. Surrounded by so many pairs of eyes, which were studying me, I stood like an accuse. Never in my life, I felt this kind of humiliation. I wanted to run- from them, from shadows of my past and eveything. I couldn't, I had no weapon to protect myself. I was helpless in front of  their blames. It's so strange, I couldn't perceive what I did wrong?
Half an hour, without being heard, I was sanctioned to live without their name and love. Well, now I am greatful that I wasn't allowed to be one of them!"

"Accepting my defeat and fortune, I turned to return but....I was stopped by a voice,  a feeble and poor voice. Nani; all this while, didn't spoke a word- complaint or accusation, nothing! A Few glances at her made me angry too, why isn't she defending her daughter? if not me. But When she called me, I couldn't control myself and looked at her, there was some kind of life in timid eyes, a spirit of joy and a hope to be heard. I Don't know, I felt she has something to say."
"When I turned back, I heard my mother's name in her low voice, Just her name Sargam... I was overwhelmed. I saw her moving forward, hands were reaching out for me, to embrace, which was due from earlier. But, Ladies of the house reached to her before me. And she was stopped,  suddenly a commotion started, atmosphere got tensed. Few ladies were giving a hidden smile to me, while men looked ready to pounce. Then I realised, Nani isn't well."
"She was weak, I could see that, but something was amiss. When they tried to take her inside, she faught, scolded them and came running to hug me.... finally, it was amazing...... Shivaay. I could feel familiarity of our heartbeat, my blood and hers. I could feel the happiness in that touch. I was happy, to hell with family, I knew she loved my mother, and must have missed her all these years, it was enough for me, even this feature was enough for me. It doesn't matter, if I get their name or acceptance or not. I knew, that old lady somewhere, deep down her heart, wanted us. And it was enough."

Annika narrated her story, in Shivaay's embrace. Hurt, pain subdued, it was replaced by care, warmth and love. Now she can easily open up to him. Infact she was waiting to share her heart to someone, Who could be better than him?.... Because now, she knew, he will understand her.

"She kissed my forehead, calling me her baccha and meri beti , actually she mistook me as mom.... But I was happy. When one lady, which I later found out to be my mami, wanted to take her, she refused. Her hands were weak but her hold was something I can still remember. She wasn't  leaving me, she was also told that I am not Sargam, but her daughter! The smile after that, was magical. Shivaay.....I can still feel the goosebumps. Her weak small eyes were looking at me admiringly. Like Pinky ma looks at me, like you do.  After knowing who I am, I guess she was even more happier. And that was it. I have found my family. My nani."

Annika's smile was broad, Shivaay can understand the range of her happiness, if remembering the event can give her that smile, then surely it was a beautiful moment. He thought. He let her talk, and devour everything again through her memory.

"Later, badi mami came to me. Standing at the foot of the door, I was unable to move. I wanted to meet nani for the last time, because they took her inside. I was not welcomed but I wanted to see her last time before taking any decision. Mami, told me, family has decided to take me in, for few days, I can live with them. I was also told Nani is suffering from Alzheimer." Annika stopped for few moments, how she wished she could give back memories to Nani, so that she could tell her everything about her mother. Shivaay enclosed her more to sympathise with her feeling. Annika continued.
"She forgets things, people and daily routine work, it's incurable, lately she is having fits. Once she tried to kill herself, accusing everyone and herself for sins. She Called them sinners, it was indicated towards my mother's death. Somehow they managed to control her, but after that fit, she fell completely silent. It was me, whom she recognized and talked and called her daughter."
"Because, she was fighting for me, everyone thought, as a gesture to ailing lady that I should live with her. There's a marrige ceremony happening, till then I can live with her..... Huh....bullshitting about ailing lady! nobody cares for her! They wanted no trouble in marriage, because it was supposedly a political alliance, they can't loose this, at any cost.... all this favour for old fogey, was only a mask. Such hypocrisy.!!.....I was told be in limits, like a guest. My acquittances was limited, only to ladies or till the kitchen boundaries. I shouldn't show my face to any of the male member, as if I care!!
Also, I was strictly told not to mention my mother to anyone in the village. I was Abandoned to meet people and guests. I have to take care of Nani and live till this marriage ceremony gets over. It's a prison Shivaay, covered with rules and hypocrisy. I hate to see their faces, few hours with nani makes me happy otherwise it's just unwanted punishment for me."
"But Nani is a gem, so many things I got to know from her. Once she told me, that she wanted mom to have a grand marriage ceremony, but that never happened, she regrets it. Now, whenever she can recollect who I am, she wishes same for me! Isn't it exciting? when she said this, I feel guilty to leave you, it always reminded me of you." Annika concluded, Shivaay heaved a sigh of relief. Her encounter with Nani is something she'd cherish for life, at least she has something in her bucket, out of this mess.
Also, deep down fear of having somebody, who could have entered her life, vanished. Shivaay can't explain, how many sleepless nights he faught with this thought, at least now he can breathe. Any other mans involvement was difficult to be bared. Jealous he was!

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