|Twenty-five|

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If Pain inflicted inside him was bearable, Shivaay wanted to kiss all of Annika's pain, right now. But he couldn't muster up the courage, the heaviness inside was unbearable. Of all people she was one he wanted to secure; one person if he can put up a fight with god, is her. Now, in this situation, he could only face shame and hurt because he failed her.
Raising hands is most unforgivable act to be done by anyone. Shivaay believed that, but never in life he thought someone will hurt Annika like that. Those bruises on her skin are now on sketch inside his heart. He'll never forget this failure, inability to protect her, this nightmare will haunt him now.
Another thing which is bothering is, How can someone be so cruel? Hitting a girl is such an unmanly thing to do. A man of this grandeur, name and pride, how can be so insensible to do it. Off course, he isn't mistaken to identify that person. Annika will never hide truth, if it has been anybody else- the status, position senior Kundra held is respectable and Annika knew consequences. She was trying to keep the respect between two individual , which Shivaay broke; again failed to keep  Annika's belief on him.

Shivaay was broken to the core but Annika sat strong, engulfing  him in a strong hold. She will never let him fail or collapse like this, whatever the reason. It is against their upbringing, it's wrong in many ways and Shivaay has a right to react that way, but she knew this isn't an easy way out for him. 

Shivaay's concise will be battling right now, blaming himself for the entire incident so she had to be standing by him at any situation. Because mostly it's her mistake.

Unashamed and proud, she hugged tight, peppering a few kisses on his head to sooth the pain. Assuring that eveything is fine. Yes she is hurt, but it's okay, there's nothing to be worried about, and if she knew him well, then she knows he'll take eveything upon himself, which isn't acceptable. She could sense people around too, they aren't concerned over them but she can feel their eyes on them. For her they don't even count, not now.

Accepting eveything, without voicing the wrong doings. It's like living a life like a pest! Respecting someone is an important thing but accepting wrong, not voicing opinion is equal to the wrong. And even if they are weak in the hands of male majority of house, they aren't right on not saying anything. And Annika is done with them.

"Why?" Shivaay's meek words hid between his hiccups.

"W...Why didn't you tell me? Why did...did you stayed after all of this?.." his eye flickers around the injuries. Annika shakes her head in disapproval but couldn't voice out, Shivaay is vulnerable and still dazed with eveything happened.

"Annika, I am sorry...it was my responsibility to safe guard you. It was my responsibility..... Sargam aunty took words from me...and I failed, I failed her and you. I am sorry. But you should understand...I can't do it alone.... Just look at you. You have to help me some way. J...just....look at you.... It's so painful to see...I don't.... can't....It's breaking me pieces. Bloody hell....what am I? I can't even save one! Not one of my family? First Om now you! I don't deserve you. I can't meet your eyes........ you don't deserve this inefficient person..... I ...am sorry Annika....I am...so sorry." He said weeping on her shoulder. Annika was trying to calm him but the guilt was building  inside of her too, she knew he'll blame himself.And she can't stand it.

"No. Its not true... Shivaay.. listen to me." She asked but Shivaay was too much broken to even say a word.

"Shivaay.... look at me.!"

"I can't. When I look at you, I want to die or destroy eveything. I can't do both.....I .... can't." She cups his face and make him look into her eyes.

"I said look at me." Conviction in her voice made him do what he didn't desired.

"I am fine. When you're with me I am good. I know this isn't acceptable to you, I am not telling you to forgive him, no.... Infact I want you to take revenge of this. Yes, I am telling you to do it but Shivaay...not like this. I wanted to avoid this, you can't make me feel guilty. You have to stand strong and be what you are. My Shivaay, strong and courageous. That's what I want you to become. " Annika tried put some sense into him.

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