cool » l. hemmings

v.

⇉ luke ⇇

My house was cold this morning. I was up too early for it to be a Saturday. Any time before 1pm was not an alright time to be awake. Especially if it's only ten in the morning.

I grumbled as I couldn't get back to sleep. My palms ran over my eyes to rub the sleep out of them. Lately I hadn't been getting much sleep. Ethan was always asking when we'd be going over to Grady and Michelle's again, and when he wasn't he was in my room talking about what he'd done in school. I enjoyed it, I really did, but not being able to sleep was getting more and more frustrating.

We were over Michelle's house a lot. Only after our brother's got off of school, never any other time. I saw her in school. I never saw that Michael guy, though. I shouldn't care, we weren't the ones who were really close. I only went over their house for Ethan to hang out with one of the only friends he's ever had.

Making my way down the stairs, I almost tripped. Gave myself a heart attack, but I'm alright.

"Morning, Ethan," I signed to him when I passed him in the kitchen. He nodded a greeting and went back to eating his bowl of cereal.

I probably looked a mess. I need food. And sleep. Possibly accompanied by a free pack of cigarettes.

"Where's mum?" I asked Ethan once I'd given up on finding anything edible in the fridge.

Shrugging, he signed, 'I don't know. Are we doing anything today?'

For a perfectly capable teenage boy, I hung out with my brother too much. I had the ability to hang out with people, I didn't have people to hang out with, but still. "Who? Us? Or all three?"

'Us.'

"No, I don't think so." He pulled a face, getting up to put his empty bowl in the sink. When he got back, I asked him what he wanted to do.

'We have friends now, you know.'

I needed to ask Michelle something anyway. She may not respond the right way, but it still needed to be answered in order for the question to stop popping up in my mind. It would be rude to ask Ethan, because I'm sure he hasn't been told.

So I nodded, signing to him that we'd leave at half past eleven. I think that's the time normal people wake up.

† † † † † † †

My palms are sweaty as I knocked on the Cross' door, for a reason I'm not sure of. My brother stood beside me.

"Oh, hi Luke. Hi, Ethan," Michelle and Grady's mother greeted, she had an apron on and flour all over her face and hands. "Michelle just woke up. Grady's in his room, Ethan." She opened the door wider for us to walk inside.

Over the course of this week their mother had managed to catch us before we left one day, when Michelle was taking us to the door. I still don't know why she does that. Michelle stomped her small feet on the ground and had her arms crossed over her chest while her mom asked us questions. Simple, really.

I spotted Michelle on the couch, still in her sleep clothes; sweatpants and a slightly baggy v-neck t-shirt. Her dark brown hair looked as if she'd already brushed through it. "You can go to Grady's room," I signed to Ethan, who nodded and turned to go to the stairs. Ms. Cross had already went back to doing what she was before - I'm guessing in the kitchen.

"Hey, Michelle." My feet moved over to the couch to sit next to her.

I saw her small frame jump and her skin become lined with goosebumps. "You get goosebumps when you're scared?" I laughed and watched her stick her tongue out when she turned to look at me.

She ignored me, bringing her feet up to sit criss-crossed while I brought my knees up to my chest. "Where's your brother?"

"With yours. Why is your mum's face covered in flour?"

"Probably thinking she can bake again. Warning: please don't taste anything she comes out here with," her hands moved out in front of her in a sloppy warning. I've noticed Michelle talks with her hands a lot. No pun intended.

I'm not sure if it's because she's so used to moving them with Grady or because she doesn't know what to do with them while talking.

I laughed a bit and nodded. Running my hand through my messy blonde hair (which I totally forgot to fix this morning), I took a deep breathe. Now would be a good time to ask, wouldn't it?

"So, I've got a question," my tongue poked out to lick my lips. Michelle raised her eyebrow and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

"You're not going to ask me on a date are you, Hemmings?" She teased. Now I knew she was joking around, but I couldn't help but hide my head in my knees and try my best to not show the slight red on my cheeks. God, I never do that.

You really need a cigarette, Luke.

"Don't get your hopes up, Cross," I said as I lifted my head from my knees. "But I wanted to know something."

She nodded for me to continue, and I could hear a song begin to play from the kitchen. For a second she looked confused, but shook her head and told me to go ahead.

"I figured I was allowed to ask this since, you know my brother and your brother - but I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to." This wasn't a hard question to ask. I've just never been the one asking it, only answering.

My knees dropped into the same criss-crossed way Michelle was sitting on the couch. My hands gripped onto them and then I brought them to my lap and averted my eyes to look at them.

"How did Grady lose his hearing? Because...you know, you've never said he was born-"

"I know, I know," she sighed. She brought her hand up to her lips and began picking them subconsciously. They already had scabs, reopening them wouldn't do her very good.

I looked at her, taking her wrist in my hand and pulling it back down to her lap. "Stop that."

"It's a nervous habit."

"What are you nervous about?" My hand was still lightly gripping her wrist. I only just now realized how pale and small she was.

"I haven't talked about how he went deaf in a while."

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"No, no. I mean if we're going to hang out every day for our brothers and have class together we might as well get to know each other, right?" She shrugged to nothing in particular.

I looked at her intently and nodded, and she took a deep breath.

"He lost it when he was three, I had just turned seven. God I still feel so bad," she brought her elbows to rest on her knees while she put the end of her palms on her forehead.

I felt really bad all of a sudden. I had a giant, painful knot in my stomach and I don't know why. I was never good when people got emotional. Though I should've expected it. I wanted to tell her she didn't have to explain if she didn't want to.

Her mother called for us in the kitchen. I looked over and she had goosebumps, I couldn't help but silently laugh.

Michelle's head lifted from her hands as she sighed and yelled, "Coming!"

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ok so please tell me if this is going too slow or is really boring bc i feel like it is, even though stuff is kind of happening??? i just want you guys to enjoy it bc i enjoy writing it

i was listening to some violent shit when i was writing this it's a miracle this didn't turn out horrible.

the devil wears prada and sworn in make me wanna break stuff this has been a psa