cool » l. hemmings

xxx.

⇉ michelle. ⇇

Urban Dictionary had a definition the other day.

Friends with Penalties: a friendship, most often between a man and woman, that you do everything that you would when dating, but without romantic or sexual behavior. Many people assume the two are dating when in public.

And, at first, I thought about what Luke and I had been doing. But there's another part of it, just like there would be with friends with benefits.

Note: neither party wants something more out of the relationship.

This, I didn't agree with on the topic of Luke and I. It was more than obvious that both of us wanted something more out of whatever it is this thing is. Even my brother still asked what was going on with it; God knows I don't know. All I knew was I liked kissing him and being with him and him in general.

'I don't think I like Brooke,' Grady said, sitting on the floor of the basement with me. 'Ethan told me something about her.'

I could only imagine what Ethan knew about Brooke that I didn't know already. Or that anyone knew already, for that matter. She wasn't a very reserved human being.

"What's that?" I asked him, turning to face him like he did to me after he paused his game. I was sitting and watching him play the Legend of Zelda game that Ethan had gotten him as an early birthday present yesterday -- I still need to ask him what he wants.

'He heard her talking on the phone the last time she was visiting.'

"About what?"

'Luke and you,' he shrugged. 'Apparently she keeps saying you gave Luke, like, a blowjob or something.'

I didn't even know they had a sign for blowjob. Wow. Amazing.

"Oh my God," I laughed. "How do you even know a sign for blowjob, anyway?"

'Ethan's the one who told me what Brooke said! He knew it before me,' Grady defended himself, throwing his arms up in mock-defense and laughing a bit.

Another part of the problem with Luke and I was Brooke's existence in all of this. Hopefully it went by quicker than it felt, because waiting a whole month for the guilt that I still felt about it was kind of tiring. Though kissing him a second time didn't help either -- but I didn't regret that part.

It's been three days since the whole, 'I guess my act is over,' thing. I've come to realize that denying the fact that I like Luke and then going against that and showing the complete opposite wasn't really working. I'm not very good at acting. So, to prevent myself from going absolutely insane (and also to get rid of Luke's thoughts that I don't actually like him), I've accepted that this isn't going to be one of those simple-start-to-a-relationship things like I'd hoped. Brooke was still there, and until Luke finished that, then things would happen however they were going to.

"I brought food!" I heard Luke's voice echo happily through the basement, watching his body slowly appear from the stairs. His arms were filled with sodas and junk food, I'm guessing from his house. Or maybe he's resorted to stealing my food.

"Sorry Ethan's sick, man," Luke signed to my brother, smiling apologetically. He tossed him a bag of popcorn, placing a soda on the table next to the couch.

'Have you talked to Michael lately?' Grady asked, perking up at the idea of me speaking with Michael again. When I shook my head, his shoulders fell a little.