Bulletproof | A BTS Gang AU

Flying

The blast ripped Joon from my fingers and threw us both up against the brick wall to our right. I heard the sickening crack of his head hitting the wall before he crumpled to the ground. The building shuddered and groaned with the effort it took to remain standing. My consciousness blurred in and out, but I fought against the desire to succumb to it because I knew I'd only barely been able to keep the flames from reaching Namjoon. I needed to know he was okay.

Car alarms blared around us as I struggled to get up onto my hands and knees and crawl to where Namjoon was stirring. He groaned and rolled over, pushing himself up on his elbows. Realization hit and his eyes flew open as he reached for me. He grabbed me around the shoulders and pulled me up with him as he stood. I barely held onto the tears that were trying to spill out of my eyes. I knew I looked like a baby with all the crying I did, so I tried my best to be strong.

"Are you okay?" Joon's voice was hoarse and fearful.

"I'm fine. I stopped the worst of the blast from hitting us."

"You did what," he screamed at me. He looked around frantically, his eyes landing on Wonho still standing across the street. I thought I saw the hint of sadness on his face as he turned and walked down the street like everything around him wasn't burning. Namjoon grabbed his gun off the ground and leveled it at Wonho, but before he could fire, Wonho stepped into a car that pulled up to the curb. Joon's shots were completely useless against the armored car as it flew down the street while dodging burning debris.

"What did you do," Namjoon screamed again, throwing his gun down and grabbing his head with both hands. He spun away from me and screamed into the night. I flinched as he turned back around and grabbed both my shoulders, shaking me violently. "Why didn't you just let me die? Now he knows what you are! How can I protect you now? You stupid, stupid girl!"

I couldn't stop the tears then as he screamed at me, but before I could think, he was pulling me into his chest and wrapping both arms around me and squeezing the breath from my lungs.

"You should have just let me die," he wailed and I realized then that he was crying, his body trembling slightly from the adrenaline and fear and rage coursing through him.

"I-I couldn't, Joon. I couldn't let him kill you."

He bent his head down and kissed the top of my head. "I don't know how to fix this, Morgan."

Jimin ran up to us and pulled both of our shirts, trying to move us away from the heat of the flames around us. Namjoon grabbed my wrist and let the younger man pull us down the alley away from the club and the approaching sirens. My mind whirled with thoughts and questions I couldn't ask. I just let myself get pulled along like a ship ripped from its moorings during a storm. I was just floating on the tide with no direction of my own.

Absently, I could hear Namjoon barking orders to Jimin and Jimin talking into his phone, but I couldn't make sense of what was being said to whom. When a car pulled up beside us, I let myself get shoved inside without a care for who was around us. I was vaguely aware of Jungkook and Hoseok, but what they said to me, I couldn't recall. All I could think about was that look on Wonho's face just before he pushed the trigger. Like he hoped I died.

And then the sorrow in his features when he realized I didn't.

There was something so familiar in that look. He was torn. He was just as broken as the rest of us. How I could know that with every part of my being, but not know anything about myself was the mystery of a lifetime.

"We're all just pawns in this game. We have to play our roles."

"What if I don't want to play?"