F1, F2 & F3 : Finished

• Marcus A •

✨mckenziecollins13 ✨

Long and lonely nights were the summary of my life as I sat waiting up for Marcus who quickly came in, threw me a quick kiss before going to sleep and leaving early the next morning. Tonight was another long night as I lay alone on the couch. It was nearing midnight and Marcus was supposed to be home about four hours ago but he had some extra work on the simulator and wanted another driver prep session. He hadn't even called me! I had to find out through his Instagram story that he was there for the rest of the night. I should be admiring my boyfriends determination, and in all honesty; I used to. When I was still that young girl who would talk highly of Marcus and how he was excelling in his F3 career and I remember looking at him and bursting with pride that he was my boyfriend.

•••

Now, however, it was different, Marcus is 19 and me being a close 17 wanted my boyfriend to actually spend time with me and not just get home; moan about some mechanical issue then practically pass out with exhaustion. Call it needy or attention seeking but I wanted him to come home and actually hug me, kiss me and tell me how much he loves me. He hasn't done that in a long time. I felt my eyes falling shut as my thoughts began creeping around my mind, but were quickly stopped as a deep slumber slipped over my body. I jumped alert as a door closed somewhere above me in the house. I listened intently and jumped slightly as heavy footsteps tread about on the ceiling above me. It was then I noticed the goosebumps that were appearing on my skin and a shiver ran up my spine: was it due to the fact I went to sleep with no blanket or the feeling of uneasiness that was settling in my stomach I don't know but I quickly rubbed my arms and began to creep quietly to the bottom of the stairs, my phone in hand and prayers that it was Marcus began tumbling off my lips. My eyes squinted as the lights came on and the dark house was thrust into an illuminate glow.

"What are you doing?" Quizzed Marcus stood at the top of the stairs,

"Wondering who the hell was walking about upstairs at half 2 in the morning, when did you get home?"

"About half an hour ago... I saw you asleep on the couch." He added quietly,

"And didn't bother to wake me or even put a blanket over me, very loving." I snapped as I made my way up the stairs and slid past him into the bathroom.

He soon appeared in the mirror, leaning casually against the door frame and looking me up and down with a confused and somewhat angry expression,

"What's up?" He asked with a sigh,

"Nothing... it's not a big deal to you anyway." I replied with equally as much sass.

"What have I done?" He said with a roll of the eyes and tilted his head against the frame; as if he couldn't be bothered with me.

I turned and stared at him,

"Do you really want to know?" I snarled, the anger building up, he nodded with a smirk, now enjoying the argument that was edging its way into the house.

"You are never home, you only talk about yourself, you never seem to care about me and get annoyed when I'm not at your races despite knowing that I'm still studying, you spend all your time away from home and when you do come home you can't even be arsed to say hello to me!" I snap, pushing past him and making my way to our bedroom.

My eyes fell on the large picture of us on holiday that hung on the wall in the hallway as I made my way past it. Times were simpler then, we were happy... he still loved me. I made my way hastily to my side of the bed and gripped my pyjamas from under the pillow but stopped as he came into the room, ready to continue the battle.

"That's not true, I'm home when I can be, when I'm allowed to be that is, and I do care about you, I bought you that new handbag that you kept whining about the other day!" He exclaimed, to which I returned with a snarky scoff and shot back,

"Buying me presents doesn't show me you care Marcus. It shows me you want to quickly shut me up and keep me happy with gifts but I don't want anymore gifts, I just want you... do you know when my next exam term is?" I question lightly,

"Of course it's ... erm, obviously, ya know... soon." He stuttered,

"Dear god Marcus, do explain what is still in this relationship anymore!" I spit out angrily ,

"What the hell y/n, you and me that's what's in it!" He responded, slamming his bedside drawer shut before sitting on the bed and facing away from me.

I sighed and spoke softly,

"Marcus... we've been together for such a long time...since we were kids, maybe this just isn't right anymore."

His head whipped around at my statement and his voice broke slightly,

"No, don't say that-"

I continued,

"I really don't want to be in a relationship when my own boyfriend doesn't care about me!"

He hurried over and placed both firm hands on my shoulders,

"You deserve for me to be a good boyfriend and I promise I will!" He said, nodding furiously as tears fell.

I shook my head gently,

"I know that one day you will make a girl so happy Marcus... so happy but I just don't think that girl is me."

I slipped past him and went downstairs, grabbing my car keys and making my way to the front door but stopped as he called after me and skidded into the hallway,

"Please, please please please don't leave me, you're my teenage sweetheart you know, always have been always will be, I never stopped loving you Y/N... I never will stop loving you there will never be another girl only you!"

He went deadly silently but broke it by whispering again,

"Only you."

I sent him a small smile,

"Bye Marcus ."

And with that I left the house, flinching slightly as I heard what I presume to be the sound of his fist punching the closest wall followed by the smashing of glass: our 1st anniversary photo probably scattered across the floor in pieces but as I drove away I couldn't help but feel okay, that I was going to be okay and I just hoped that Marcus would be also.