Mesperyian

Moving Foward

 
  That night Kevin slept in my bed with me and Kaedy. He wanted to help during the night but knowing he was gonna need the rest for the ride I let him sleep.
 
  In the morning I woke up early to a crying Kaedy after feeding and changing her I layed her on the bed and told Kevin she was with him before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast.

When I was plating the food Kevin walked in with Kaedy in his arms.

"You are going to ruin her." I tell him while smiling at him.

"I am not, I am gonna show her how much she deserves to be loved. And how a true man treats the girl he loves." he says while looking down at her.

He sits at the table and I bring him his breakfast, i turn to get him his coffee but his hand wraps around me wrist stopping me from walking away. I look at him and his eyes have never looked softer. Theres a mix of longing and lust in them and it terrifies me. I'm not ready. I shake my head at him and he slightly nods his head and drops his hand.

I walk toward the kitchen and grab our coffees before sitting next to him. We eat in silence for a little bit and then he tells me how his planing on showing up with some of his guys to peaceful bring Lana home. They dont plan on telling her why but he does plan on telling Jamie that if he doesn't let her go or tells her to go he will tell her everything wich he hopes it doesn't get to that.

  After eating I clean up the kitchen and meet Kevin in the livingroom where his sitting cooing at Kaedy who is laying on a pillow that he has over his lap.

I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes enjoying the moment.

"I wish you didnt have to do this. Or that I could go with you." I tell him but again he doesn't answer he knows better then to say anything when I'm opening up to him about my feelings.

"I just dont know how safe I will feel without you here Kevin, I wish things were easier. And that we didnt have to live this way. Me scared and you having to constantly help me relax or take care of me or being obligated to make me feel save." I tell him and he shifts a little to look at me

"You are not an obligation and I love to take care of you, both of you. And the fact that I help you relax goes both ways, you help me relax aswell so no need to feel bad about that." He says and smiles shyly up at me.

"Now I need to get dressed why don't you come upstairs while I get dressed and keep me company" he says while getting up and reaching out to help me up.

  I watched as he got ready, he didn't really have alot here, I should probably tell him to bring some more of his things.

"Do you think Whiz could take me to the mall?" I ask him while he sits to tie his shoes.

  "Yeah, I'll ask him. What do you need?" He says with out stopping what his doing, well here goes nothing.

"I'm gonna go get Lana anything she might need and some covers for the bed in the guest room, and maybe if you want, get you somethings for here to." When I said this he stopped what he was doing and turned his head to look at me.

  "What?"

"If you want, I'd like to get you something for here, like a dresser, toothbrush maybe a pillow of your own. Idk." I tell him and look away hoping he cant see the crazy blush that has taken residency on my face.

His hand reaches my chin and with his fingers he brings my face back to look at him when I see him he has a huge smile on his face.

"Are you subtly asking me to stay over more often or to move in? I need to know so I can tell you what to get me." He says and I smile, his not gonna make jokes about the way I said it or laugh at me for saying it.

"I'm saying I would love for you to start staying over most nights, when ever you dont have club business, and I guess yeah move in." I shrug my shoulders and wait to see what his answer is before I can get another word out his lips are on mine for the second time since I got home from the hospital.

They move slowly but aggressively. They tame every inch of my mouth making me moan and my hands move on there own and place themselves on the back of his head. I move to get on my knees to make it a little more comfortable not wanting this amazing kiss to end but before I can place myself on his lap Kaedy desides it's the right moment to let out a loud fart. Braeking our peaceful bubble with her none voluntary protest.

We brake from our kiss and look over to see Kaedy still asleep on the bed, then look at each other and start laughing.

"I'm sorry." Kevin says while letting go of my face.

"Why are you apologizing?" I ask not really knowing what there is to be sorry about.

"I'm not sure, I guess I feel like o should have asked before kissing you." He looks away from me as if he was ashamed of his actions.

"No, you dont need to ask to kiss me, I thought we were or are in a relationship. Aren't we? Aren't you my boyfriend? Or Old man?" I ask him and his head snaps back in my direction and I wince at the thought of him getting whiplash by how fast he moved.

"I would like to think that I am." He says as a smile slowly spreads on his face and I nod as a response not really knowing what else I could say to him.

After some more kissing and bringing Kaedy to her room we make our way out to the front of the house. When we open the door I see that the guys are already there waiting. I have no idea when they arrived but I did not hear any bikes. Kevin turns to give me one last kiss and my arms go around his neck not ready to let him go. He rest his forhead on mine and I close my eyes to try and enjoy him being this close one last time before he has to go.

"I'll be gone 2 days, ok baby?" He tells me and I nod a little droping my head to his chest.

Whiz walks by us and heads in the house closing the door behind him and I look over my shoulder annoyed at the fact that he thinks he lives here and just walks in without being invited. Kevin chuckles at my face and kisses my cheek.

"You have to let go so I can go and get Lana." He tells me and I shake my head assuming my rightful place back on his chest.

"Baby the longer we take saying bye the longer it will take for me to come home.

I drop my arms convinced I want him here as soon as possible and he walks down the steps and gets on his bike.

I watch as he goes and when I can no longer hear the bikes I turn and head in the house. Whiz is laying on the couch watching some tv show and I walk up to him and wait for him to acknowledge that I'm there before I begin to speak.

"I know Kevin told you we were going to the mall, and we are, but I need to make another stop before that." I tell him and this catches his attention he turns the tv off and sits straight. He looks up at me with a raised eyebrow and rolls his hand signaling me to continue.

"I need you to take me to the cemetary, there's something I need to do. Or say and I need to feel like I'm being heard by the person I am going to say it to. And it's the closest I'll ever get to actually getting his attention."

His eyes softened when he sees a tear roll down my face and I wipe it away trying to make myself look strong.

He nods his head and I walk away to get me and Kaedy ready.

I need this, and it's best if Kevin is not around to hear what I got to say.

I need to finally let him go and tell him how wrong he was. How he failed me and how mom would be ashamed of him for just leaving us to figure it out on our own. For not knowing what was happening under his roof for giving me away to those man that did with me and to me as they pleased.

He might have not directly done bad to me but by turning his back to me by walking out that door every time they came around by not seeing what was left of me every time he came back he began my nightmare.

He was the starting point of my undoing. He was the reason why I went through it. He is the reason I was once broken.

After getting Kaedy and I ready I made my way to the car and Whiz followed with out saying a word.

He drove me, and waited in the car while I said what I needed.