Finding Myself

2: Riley

Mason and I head to the parking lot to get into his car. Once I put on my seat belt he reverses and we leave the parking lot to head home.

"I'm glad that you met Quinn," he announces out of the blue.

"Why"

"I've never seen you so open and friendly with someone that fast. It was nice seeing that. Maybe you two can become really good friends," Mason explains.

"I don't know, Mason. You know I'm shit at making friends. I'll probably make a fool of myself somehow and she will regret trying to be friends with me."

"Aw come on, don't say that..." he says before I cut him off.

Watch. I'll mess up and she won't even want to stand next to me," I add.

Mason sighs before he pulls over to immediately park the car. He turns off the engine and looks over at me to say, "Riley, stop, okay. You're not going to mess up or make a fool out of yourself. She's going to want to be your friend because you're amazing."

"Hardly," I pout.

Mason rolls his eyes and reaches over to intertwine our fingers. "Riley, you are incredible. Anyone would want to be your friend. And anyone that says otherwise is missing out on knowing you. You need to be more confident and have some faith. Everything will be okay."

I squeeze his hand lightly and take a breath before smiling at him. "You're right. I just got stuck in my own head and was being negative. Who knows we might actually be good friends."

"That's the spirit," Mason says, making me chuckle.

"You guys seemed to really get along, so I can't wait for you two to be friends. You can study and help each other out in your tough classes," he adds.

"You're just saying that because you're tired of me reading textbooks to you all the time."

"Well duh. Those books are so boring, but I have to admit I get the best sleep when you read the textbooks to me."

I roll my eyes at him and lean over to give him a quick peck. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he says before starting the car and driving to our places. It isn't long before we make it to my house and he parks in the driveway. His car is the only one in the driveway now; my parents are still at work for another hour, so Mason follows me inside.

Once inside, we dump our backpacks by the door and head down the hallway. Mason plops down on the couch and I head in the kitchen for a glass of water and one for Mason. Once I'm back in the living room, I had him his glass and I sit down next to him. We both take long sips of our waters then put the glasses of water on the coffee table in front of us.

Mason grabs the remote control and turns on the TV and immediately puts it on animal planet. He knows me so well. I love animals. I could spend all day watching this channel or reading about animals.

I snuggle into Mason's side and he puts his arm around me as we watch the TV. The program today is focused Alaskan animals and I'm so intrigued that I don't notice thirty minutes going by until Mason asks, "When will we see the penguins?"

I look at him skeptically and say "Mason, there are no penguins in Alaska."

"WHAT! My life has been a lie," he says dramatically. I roll my eyes at him as he starts to pout and cross his arms. I feel like messing with him again, so I add, "You also know there are many different types of penguins in Antarctica?"

"WHAT THE FUCK! NO, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" he says as he gets up to pace around the room. Meanwhile I'm on the couch laughing so hard, it's too funny.

He finally stops being over dramatic about the topic and scowls at me as I continue laughing on the couch. He walks back over and pushes me to the side so that he can sit down next to me.

"Why don't you just become a zoologist so you can crush other people's dreams with all the knowledge you have about animals?"

Once I calm down from laughing I reply to his question, "Unfortunately, UCLA doesn't have a zoology major."

Mason looks at me in surprise and says, "Huh, I really thought they would have every major."

"Oh god, you haven't done much research on the school, have you?"

"Well no, I just know they are an awesome school for sports. That's what I focused on," he replies.

I face palm and Mason chuckles at my reaction and he wraps his arms around me, "I love you."

"I love you too, but sometimes you really drive me crazy," I reply as we both lean in for a kiss.

I shift in my seat so that I can kiss him more passionately and he moves his hands to my waist and slowly pushes me down on the couch. Things start to get a little heated as we continue to make out.

I feel so comfortable with him. I always have been. I just know that I will always have a fun time with him no matter what.

Then I notice his hands roaming down my sides and I slightly push him away as I break our kiss.

"What's wrong?" he asks. I can see the worry in his face by the way he furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head slightly to the left. The sun is glaring down on us a little and the light hits his hazel eyes making them look a little green and it reminds me of someone from school. Quinn has green eyes. I noticed when we were leaving practice; it's one of the reasons why I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

I try to think of a reason for pushing him away, but I can't. So, I make up an excuse and say, "Look at the time, Mason. My parents are probably on their way home now. We can't do anything."

"Oh, you're right," he says checking the time. He quickly gets off of me and helps me up. We pick up the pillows that we dropped on the ground by accident earlier and rearrange them back on the couch.

I quickly fix my hair in the mirror as Mason says, "I should get going, and I don't want to be here when your parents get home. They might try to convince me to stay and I can't. I have to pick up my little brother from school today."

I walk him to the door and he grabs his back and turns to face me. He leans in to kiss me, and then opens the door to walk out, but he stops. He turns around and reminds me, "Remember what we said about making Quinn your friend. You have nothing to worry about, it's not like she is going to bite or anything."

I roll my eyes and agree with him before he walks to his car. I watch him get in and reverse out of my driveway and leave. Then I close and lock the door and rest my head against it.

Mason and I have been together for a long time, but we still haven't had sex. I told him from the beginning that I wanted to go slow and wait until I felt ready. Well, it's been almost two years and I still don't feel ready. I feel bad for Mason; I know that he wants to do it, even if he says that he also wants to wait. He's a normal hormonal guy, so I know he thinks about it a lot. However, he's so sweet; he has never pressures me and is so patient and sweet. I love how understanding he is. He is a great guy, so why am I so hesitant and scared to have sex?

Is there something wrong with me?

Why don't I want to take that next step with him?

I love him, so what's stopping me?

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Author Note: Thank you for getting chapter 1 over 200 reads. I love you guys.

What do you think about this chapter?

And yes, Mason telling Riley that Quinn doesn't bite is a reference to Avery and Ezra. Thought that would be a little funny to put in for my Chemistry readers.

1-2 updates a week.