Finding Myself

27: Quinn

Something is definitely off and I need to talk with Riley.

Like why the hell is this Joshua dude trying to cozy up to me. The only thing that I know about him is that he is on the football team with Mason, but we've never talked before today. Yet here he is getting me flowers and candies and I'm very concerned. Double concerned with the fact that he is trying to flirt with me. I really don't like this, I'm gay for fucks sake.

So, when we head to the arcade I make sure to stay by Riley's side. I much rather be next to her and Mason, even if they are holding hands, than be next to Joshua.

Once we get to the arcade I immediately set my eyes on the dance dance revolution machine in the corner. I point it out to Riley and she rolls her eyes at me. I start to pull her in that direction and I can see her cheeks get flushed.

"We should try mario cart instead," suggests Mason suddenly.

Riley stops moving and agrees with Mason which annoys me. However, I go along with them. Mason and Joshua get on the seats and start the game without even asking Riley and I if we wanted to play. What the heck, what was the point of stopping me from dancing.

Riley cheers Mason on and Joshua tries to get me to cheer him on, but I give a half assed effort. I really don't care who wins to be honest. And in the end, they both lose first place to a  nonhuman player. I try to hold in my laugh, but Riley notices and I can't help but smirk at her. Her cheeks turn a rosy red and she quickly looks away.  She's so fucking cute, I can't deal.

We move away from those racing games and the guys spot a basketball hoop shot game. They both look at each other excitedly and run over to it. They are both immature guys, they look like little kids and I'm bored with them.

Riley and I walk over as they start trying to compete with each other over who can make more shots. They aren't great at this, I thought they would be because they play football. I guess I was wrong, I shouldn't have had high hopes for either of them.

"Come on, Quinn, I need my date to cheer me on so that I can win this guy," Joshua comments suddenly. It snaps me out of my thoughts and I'm absolutely dumbfounded. Why the fuck does he think this is a date? Is this why he has been invading my personal space today?

I clearly at no point in time agreed to a date with this guy, so I turn to look at Riley. She refuses to look up at me and I realize she set this up without telling me.

How could she do that? In what world did she think this was okay? This is fucked up and I didn't expect Riley to ever do this to me.

I've had enough of this stupid date that I never agreed to. I feel kind of betrayed to be honest. I can't believe Riley went so far with this. She knew this whole time it was a date. And we made this plan like a week ago. She knew this entire week that it was a blind date.

I decide to just walk away from them. There is no point in me sticking around now.

I make it a few steps before I hear Riley calling out my name, but I don't stop. I keep walking, until I make it out of the arcades. I can hear Riley teying to excuse herself past people to keep up with me.

"Please stop, can we just talk," she begs.

"WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOW? ABOUT HOW YOU SET ME UP AND NEVER TOLD ME!"

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I just didn't know how to tell you," she replies while looking down like a lost puppy. She's adorable, but I'm also furious. However, it's hard to stay mad but I need to stand my ground.

"That's a bullshit excuse and you know it, Riley."

She sighs and walks closer to me, but I take a step back. I'm still guarded despite the crush I have on her. I can't just forgive her like that. I can tell she had no bad intentions, but she still lied.

"I'm so sorry, Quinn. I fucked up. I know I did. I just thought it was a good idea to set you up so that we could both be in relationships."

"Why in the hell did you think that was a good idea? Did I ever say I wanted to date? To be in a relationship? No! I never said that, you can't make choices for me, Riley."

"I'm an idiot. I'm sorry," she says. I look closely at her and notice that she is trembling slightly. She keeps looking around nervously and shifting from foot to foot. I realize that this situation is a bit too much for her. I know she struggles with anxiety and me yelling at her in front of everyone isn't the right way to handle this. She is trying to make an effort to say sorry despite me making a scene.

I sigh and pull her to a less populated area. She refuses to look at me, but u can tell she is close to crying.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. I want to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but she's the one in the wrong here, not me.

"Look, I know you meant well, I think, but you can't keep secrets from me. It hurt that you set this up without asking for my input," I say after a few deep breaths.

"I'm really sorry. I just figured you would say no and Rey to cancel and I wanted you to have a fun time and meet a nice guy. I just wanted you to have an awesome date," she replies.

"You're right, I would have disagreed with this whole idea. Thank you for wanting me to have a good date, but it would have never worked...," I pause for a second and hesitate. Should i tell her? Should I come out to her? Should I trust her with that information after what she did? What if she tell people? I don't want her to share my secret? I don't want her to out me. However, I don't think she would ever do that to me. Yet again, I didn't think she would set me up on a date.

Sometimes you just have to take chances I guess. You win some and lose some. I might gain a person that understand and accepts me fully or I lose her and realize she was never a good friend to begin with.

"It would have never worked because I don't like guys. I'm into girls. Well, what I'm trying to get at is that I'm gay," I add.

Riley's eyes open wide and she looks at me then side to side and back to me. She repeats this process as she tries to process what I just said. I can see the gears turning in her head and this information looks like it's a bit too much for her.

Did I just fuck up? Is she going to be okay with this?

Did I just break this girl?

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Author's note: How would you react if you were Quinn and finding out what Riley did to you?

Also how you react to Quinn telling you she is gay if you were Riley?

By the way, the story isn't anywhere near done yet. I know some people won't like that, but let me reiterate that this isn't a simple love story. Both my characters need to grow first.

And on tuesday I will be uploading my coming out video on YouTube. Who would watch it?