Finding Myself

4: Riley

In the afternoon I get a text from Quinn telling me that she is able to come tomorrow and my heart drops. Oh my god. She's coming over to my house!

I need to clean up! I need to make my home spotless.

I immediately get off the couch and start cleaning around the house. I start with sweeping the floor then I mop.

My parents come home and find me clean the counters. "What in the world? You're cleaning? Oh my god, are you an alien that looks like our daughter?" my dad teases.

"Very funny, dad. I'm cleaning because a friend is coming over tomorrow to study with me," I reply.

"You made a friend?" Asks my mom.

"Well, more like Mason helped me get a friend. Him and cheerleading helped, surprisingly," I reply.

My parents look at each other dumbfounded, but shrug and my mom says, "Well okay. Can your friend come over everyday, so that the house can be like this everyday."

"Oh my god, you guys," I reply laughing. My dad goes to the living room to sit on the couch and relax a bit while my mom walks over to me.

"Why are you in such a cleaning mood? Are you nervous about having your new friend over tomorrow?" my mom mentions.

"Yeah, I guess so. I just want to make a good impression or something."

"Sweetie, having a clean house doesn't impress friends or win them over. Your personality is what wins people over. So, don't worry about cleaning. Everything will be okay," my mom advises.

"What if she gets to know me and finds out that she doesn't actually like me?" I ask.

"Okay I doubt that is going to happen. Everything will be okay. Just you wait and see. You have to give your new friend a chance and not automatically assume they will think the worst of you. I know it's hard because the last place we lived in had crappy people, but now it's different. No one has been mean to you here. No one is going to hurt you here. So, give the friendship a chance," my mom suggests.

I sigh and stop washing the dishes. I take a breath and agree with my mom. "I'm going to go relax then," I add as I turn to walk to my room.

"Hold up, you started washing the dishes, might as well finish doing that," she adds.

I groan and turn back to the sink to finish the dishes as my mom chuckles at me. Before she walks into the living room, she stops to ask, "what's your friend's name?"

"Her name is Quinn," I reply.

"Cute name. Don't you worry, Riley. I'm sure Quinn will like you," she adds.

Once I'm done with the dishes I go up to my room and notice it's a bit messy. I can't help but clean up a little before laying done and freaking out again.

How am I supposed to act like myself? I don't even know what that means. I don't know what I'm like or who I am. I go to bed with those thoughts floating around in my mind.

The next day in school when I see Quinn I notice how excited she seems about the study session we will have today and that eases my worry a little bit. However, I still feel incredibly nervous around Quinn and I can't help it. I've talked to Madon about it and he says I probably just don't feel open and comfortable yet. He thinks that after today I might feel better around her.

Before practice starts for Quinn she walks over to me to ask, "Hey, Riley. What time do you think I should come over? Like right after practice or in an hour or two after practice? I need to know since my mom will be driving me to your place."