Chapter 6

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The weekend passed too quickly for my liking, and I was dreading going to school on Monday. There was no doubt that what happened at the party had been spread through the entire school and I didn't want to be the centre of attention, especially in my second week at school. I had been avoiding my mum all weekend, knowing that if she saw what had happened to me she would never let me out of her sight again. I partially blamed myself for what had happened at the party - if I didn't get so drunk it probably would've never happened. On Monday morning I woke up at five thirty I'm the morning, needing more time than usual to get ready for school. I showered and washed my long hair, still scrubbing at my skin to get the feeling of dirtiness off me. I felt tainted, even though he didn't get as far as he wanted. I felt used, damaged. I felt horrible. I left my hair down, hoping to hide the scar that was forming on my neck. I attempted to cover it with makeup, but it was useless. The purple mark was still visible under copious layers of foundation and concealer, and I eventually just gave up. I used concealer to hide the bruises on my wrists, piling bracelets onto each arm in hopes to distract them even more.

One thing that makeup definitely couldn't hide was the fact that I hadn't slept. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and the dark circles under my eyes were visible under my makeup. I kept crying, thinking of what could've happened if I hadn't managed to get him off me. What could've happened if he had gotten what he wanted.

I got off the bus at school, thanking the bus driver quietly. I walked aimlessly around the school before pulling out my timetable to check what my first lesson was. Music. My heart rate instantly increased and I started to hyperventilate. I could feel a panic attack setting in and I was standing in the middle of the school playground, surrounded by strangers. My eyes welled with tears and I began to shake. I couldn't handle seeing Luke. Not yet. Not ever.

An arm grabbed me, pulling me to the girls bathrooms. I didn't fight it. It felt soft, warm, friendly. I was in no state to question anything and I was gasping for air. I couldn't breathe as my panic attack was taking over my body in full force. I was forced into a cubicle and sat down on the toilet. The person knelt down in front of me, grabbing my face in their soft hands. My eyes were glazed over, my anxiety prohibiting me from seeing anything that was going on right now.

"Ash, breathe..." the calm voice said. It was Bailey.

Her voice was soothing and I instantly felt air fill my lungs as my breathing eased. She held my hands tightly, stroking her thumb against mine as I calmed down from my panic attack.

"Music..." I managed to say, a tear falling from my eye as I shook with terror.

"Trust me, he won't be in school today," she told me.

"How do you - ?" I asked, but she cut me off.

"Just trust me, he won't be here for a while," she replied. I looked down at her hands holding mine, and saw her knuckles were bruised and busted, one hand wrapped in a bandage. I remembered what Mollie had said about Bailey punching Luke in the face and I decided I didn't want to know anything else.

"Your hand..." I whispered, taking it in mine and examining it. She flinched slightly as I held it.

"It's nothing, you should see his face," Bailey said with a dry smile.

I brushed my fingers lightly over the bandage, my wrists still aching from Saturday nights events.

"Are you okay?" Bailey asked me.

"I don't know..." I confessed to her, not looking into her eyes. My breathing had returned to normal and I had stopped shaking, my hands continuing to hold hers steadily. The bell rang and I jumped, scared by the sudden noise.

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