his one wish || a mattia x kairi story.

apology accepted | mattia

EVERYTHING CHANGED AFTER THE KISS. Mattia and Jenny had crossed the thin line that existed between them, and to be honest Mattia didn't know how to feel about it. It was very clear that Jenny's feelings existed beyond the realm of friendship, but he was still so unsure about everything that he was feeling. Having this on top of the whole situation with Kairi almost felt wrong, because normally if something like this happened, he would turn to Kairi and consult with him. But with Kairi no longer in the picture, Mattia had no one to talk to. There was no one he could go to for help or for sane advice and that was dangerous.

In his heart, Mattia knew the right decision would be to let Jenny off easy, to let her know that the kiss was a one-time-only event. His feelings did not match hers, and if he continued to lead her on, she would end up getting hurt and Mattia couldn't handle the burden of hurting another person. But at the same time, Mattia didn't have the guts to say that to her. How could he? He had clearly enjoyed the kiss, which wasn't necessarily a lie, but it meant something to her. Mattia's feelings were too mixed up to be involved with anyone, so even though he wasn't sure what he was feeling, the best choice would be to let Jenny know. She would understand, right?

About a week or so after the kiss, Mattia called Jenny up, his heart beating so hard he felt like it would just jump out of his chest.

"Hey Mattia," Jenny greeted him, excited that she was receiving a call from him unannounced.

"Hey Jenny," Mattia said softly, "I need to tell you something." Immediately, Jenny knew that something wasn't right. She grew nervous, her hands becoming clammy.

"What's up?" She asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"It's about the kiss," Mattia stated, not sure how to continue.

"Oh..." Jenny could tell by the tone of his voice that he was not calling to ask her to kiss him again.

"I'm sorry, Jenny, I just – I don't know what I'm feeling right now. It was such a blur, and on top of the Kairi situation... it's complicated," Mattia cringed, knowing that his excuse was bullshit, "I don't think things would work out." Jenny supposed she should've expected it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"I don't know what to say," Jenny breathed, her voice going softer than it had before, "I thought there was something..." She trailed off, her tone hopeful.

"I know, Jenny, and I'm sorry for having led you on for as long as I did, that wasn't fair to you," Mattia apologized, "but I was trying to figure my shit out and to be honest, I still don't have it figured out," he chuckled awkwardly. Jenny had known how tough the situation had been for Mattia and it would be a lie if she said that she didn't feel for him. But she had wished that the kiss had meant as much to Mattia as it had to her.

"I understand," she said, "you need time."

"Yeah," Mattia exhaled sharply, relieved that Jenny understood, or said she did at least, "I'm truly sorry about how everything happened, though."

"Me too," Jenny responded sadly, "but I hope everything works out between you and Kairi."

"Thanks, Jenny, I appreciate it," Mattia said, "and thanks for dealing with my bullshit."

"That's my job," Jenny laughed, "well, thank you for being honest with me, it was the right thing to do."

"I hope so," Mattia said, "again, I'm so, so sorry."

"Stop apologizing, dumbass, it's okay," Jenny tried to play off everything that just occurred, her normal humor kicking in to mask her hurt.

"Okay, okay, goddamn," Mattia chuckled, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.