My big brother Luke (The Walking Dead Game)

29 - Mourn

The funeral rolled past. A hole in the ground around the side of Wellington is where Anna laid. Jamie was crying his eyes out whereas Luke said nothing, did nothing he was silent. His eyes were dry. It was as if he could no longer cry.

He held baby Nick close to his chest. He was wrapped in a lot of blankets, not wanting to keep him out in the cold too long Luke called the funeral off early. He most likely also did this to get away, he didn't want to remember Anna as a body in the ground. He wanted to remember her as his happy wife with the glorious flowing ginger hair.

The next couple of days passed. Luke ate very little still. I had no idea how to get him back to normal. I knew it would take time. The fact he had time to grieve most likely made him this way. When his best friend Nick died he just had to keep moving, no stop, no peace. With Anna's death he has nothing to worry about other than thinking about the death.

"You want to do some drawing?" I ask him.

"Not really" he sighs and strokes to top of baby Nicks head gently.

I had tried everything to try and get him to do something. The night Josh had come in he perked up for about half an hour before falling right back down into the pit of depression. I hadn't dealt with this before. Yes, Kenny was a bit like this situation but on the other hand it was completely different.

"You should go to school" Luke says in a quiet voice.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" I ask sounding concerned.

"I have to be, for this little guy. Turner said he wanted to speak with me. He's coming round later" Luke talks in a quiet tone.

"You promise you'll be okay?" I ask him again. I was honestly extremely concerned.

"Yes Clem! I will be okay" he says in a harsher tone as if he was annoyed at me for continuously asking but I couldn't help it, his silence and actions scared me.

I gave him a long hug and said goodbye before making my way down stairs to school. School consisted of what it usually consisted. Writing and reading. I was getting good at it, perfect even.

After school Josh walked out with me.

"So you want to go and talk now? I'm bored and you look like you have some things on your mind" Josh says putting his hands in his pockets.

I agree to the talk and we go outside of the wall and sit in our usual spot which had been marked with dents that our bottoms had caused from sitting up there all the time. I'm pretty sure Turner knew that we went out there now, he didn't seem to mind since it was open and if something approached us we would know before it got to us.

"I don't know how Luke's doing. He won't really speak to me." I admit to Josh. I felt quite upset about this. The fact Luke wouldn't speak to me, it hurt me.

"He's just going through a rough patch. Believe it or not. It happened to my dad. Nearly the same." Josh explains.

"With your mum?" I didn't want to say that, but I felt like I had to.

"Yes..." His voice choked.

"He's okay now though, stronger than ever" I say with a small smile. Turner was strong. It was a fact.

"And that's how Luke's going to be, strong. He'll stay in silence for as long as he needs. When he's ready to face the facts he'll come through." Josh explains to me.

I had no idea how to response. I knew Luke was going to be okay it was just putting that statement into reality. It just didn't seem right. I really wished Lee was here to tell me what to do, he would know.

"I wish Lee was here to help" I say slowly.

"Lee? You spoke about him before. You think you're ready to tell me that story yet?" Josh asks. I look at his eyes. They were a nice colour, a browny green.

"I...yes...I guess" I hadn't really ran over the events of Savannah with anyone for a long time. I didn't feel as if I needed to. But every now and then its good to just spill out the words again and again to release the build up.

I began to speak about Lee. From the moment I met him to me getting him killed. I couldn't help but blame myself. I knew it was my fault. Now Josh understands why whilst I was drunk I was slurring things about me killing him. He finally gets it. Tears stream down the side of my face when I speak. I had finished speaking realising how its Lees fault I'm alive right now, speaking and breathing.

"Its okay. It wasn't your fault" Josh comforts me from crying. He puts his arms around me and if by instinct I immediately cuddle up to him placing my head on his chest. It was comfortable. As if this was the place I was meant to be. I slowly whimpered about that past and that's when Josh started talking.

"My mom, I loved my mom. She was an amazing woman. Selfless. Always putting people in front of her. She was killed in the early days of this hell. Attacked as we ran. I couldn't help but feel as if it was my fault. We were all carrying bags and she made me carry the lightest bag because I was the smallest. She took the heavier bag off of me and passed me the lighter one. The heavier bag slowed her down. Making her trip over in the mud. One of them got her and....I just..." He was sniffing. I think he was crying.

"Its okay. It looks like we've all lost people. We just have to deal with it in the end. It’s going to happen to us.” I say truthfully.

“Don’t say that” He whimpers. Even though he knew what I was saying was correct.

“I’m just saying. It’s going to happen to all of us even before the world went to hell. We live and we die. It just happens”

“I guess, just some people die before they deserve to” He holds me tighter as we watch the motionless walls of Wellington and the gentle smoke from the fires lit within.

“I’m glad you’re here” I say to him. I look at his tearful face. He looks back at me and a smile forms across his face.

“I’m glad you’re here too Clementine. Without you I’d be alone” he says. His voice was deep, but gentle and nice.

“I like you Josh. You’re smart and funny” I admit. Still in his grip.

“I could say the same. But on top of that you’re beautiful” As he says this I look up at him again. I give him a sweet smile and he leans forward towards me.

The bottom of my cap brushes against the side of his head as my head turns to meet his lips. He kisses me. Our lips lock together and I instantly kiss him back perfectly. Like I had done it before, as if it just came naturally. But I both knew this was our first time.

After a minute or maybe longer, I lost count. I pulled away from his soft lips. He leant back with a smile planted across his face, I created a symmetrical expression.

“You okay?” He chuckles. Most likely out of the disbelief of what just happened. I had the same feeling.

“Yeah..fine” I give him a grin and chuckle back.

He instantly takes this as a ‘I think we should do that again’. He leans over and begins to kiss me again. I didn’t mind, I loved it.

He was going to be 16 in a week or so. Me however I had only turned 14 a week before baby Nick was born.

I hoped no one had seen us. That would've been embarrassing. I would probably of gotten a awful talk from Luke if he found out. This was something between me and Josh and it was going to stay that way.