Healing Ivan Wattys2015

Chapter 16- What A Kiss Signifies

I love this song by Lorde- tennis court

What are your view on kisses? It can be anything random?

ALLISON--->

IVAN POV

I watched from my window Kiplinger hugging her. It hurt but I have to get over this, I can't have her. I have to get over this.

OLORIRE POV

"How did you know her as in mila?" I asked as we finished up our project. It was due for tomorrow and we just about ready just writing up our findings.

"We used to fuck." Juan said looking straight ahead.

"And?"

"That's it. Don't ask me questions I'm not going to be able to answer. I told you I did things in the past I'm not proud of. I can't be letting people think I'm soft, especially North Valley." He lit a cigarette, putting one hand in his jacket. I hugged him resting my head on his shoulder. He went rigged but he soon settled. I never got that about him. Affection was something he wasn't comfortable with.

"Thank you Juan."

"I will do anything for you home girl." he put my head in a lock tickling my side.

"Juan, do you like me? I mean like that." He laughed, and then turned serious.

"I did at first, shit I've been leading you on Olo-" I laughed too.

"No you haven't, I just had to clear the air for a reason." If only he knew why.

"At first I honestly did but then some things changed. I saw you more as home girl than lover material, but everyone knows I can't compete with Kaiser."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Even I know you are not that oblivious. I'll leave you to figure that one. I got a quick one for you: what's the deal with Allison?"

"Allison."

"Yes the girl with brown hair, and glasses, the weird one that technically hangs around with us but doesn't utter a single word to us. I tried talking to her, she went into tomato mode. She's hot in a smart girl kind of way."

You think so?"

"Yes, is she with someone?"

"Juan, are you interested? Because I think she may have a little crush on you."

"Who doesn't?" I rolled my eyes.

"If you like her-"

"I don't know if I like her, I mean she doesn't care how she looks, she keeps herself to herself, and I can tell she values your friendship. I think she's hot and that whole shyness thing is a definite turn on."

"Ugh stop."

"I'm just being truthful."

"If she lets me-"

"I don't want to know, alright?" he smirked. "Besides you are already a slut, so I don't know why I'm surprised about how vulgar your mouth is."

"I don't deny it but I don't have time to be catching feelings like that. It's just get in get out for me. I don't even remember the last time I passionately kissed a girl."

"Are you serious?"

"Kissing to me it's weird, swapping saliva; you would have to be special for me to swap my saliva with you or vice versa. Its kind like eating from the same spoon or drinking from the same cup, it's an intimate thing if you are in a relationship. A quick kissing there or a quick peck there, it's what leads to 'making love' it's a sort of foreplay to get your partner in the mood or whatever foolishness I read in one of those stupid books. I agree, I do, that's why I don't kiss a girl, that's too deep for Me." he shook his head, taking another drag.

"So you're never going to kiss a girl?"

"I have kissed girls and girls have kissed me. But I wouldn't ultimately put myself in that kiss unless I'm sure I see us going somewhere. I want someone to grow old with and I'm not afraid to say it but I just haven't found the one. I don't want to load them with my baggage. I haven't found the one who makes me go crazy but at the same time going crazy with her is the only thing that keeps me sane. If that makes sense, she completes me. To others having sex is a part of them they treasure to me it's a kiss- it's says so much yet it's a simple gesture, there is so much power in a kiss that people tend to overlook. It can range from nice to sexual. Sex is just sex. A kiss leaves you guessing. I may not say I love you every day because it's so overrated but I will never be short of kisses to give to my girl or our future children." my eyes went all watery.

"Ugh don't look at me like that."

"That is so beautiful."

"That's just my philosophy."

"Who knew you could be so wise?" I pulled at his cheeks.

"Don't ever do that again." I ignored him. "I'm warning you."

"Ok ok I get it." We bumped fist, laughing.

---

"How are you?" I was too excited to answer her question.

"Guess what I found out?" Allison came round with a whole bag of treats and magazines: a girl's night in as she called it. "Juan thinks you're hot in a smart girl kind of way." she blushed deeply.

"Really?" she beamed.

"Yes!"

"Don't change the topic, I asked you a question first. How are you feeling?" Allison looked worried for me and I didn't want her to be, I can't believe myself. I can't believe those girls. But they kept true to the fact they stayed away from me.

"Ok I guess."

"You are not ok. Something is bothering you." I trusted Allison.

"It's Ivan, I thought I liked him, but it's nothing." I was already slightly depressed about Ivan ignoring me; he has been doing it all week. It was like someone pulled a switch on him. He hasn't made any comments or tried to be an ass. I hate to say it but I miss it. It was different; I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Allison sat on my bed, reading some teenage magazine called gloss.

"I thought you liked Kiplinger." I put my head on the pillow.

"I don't know. Asshole downstairs confused me more."

"Ok, look gloss magazine says something. You have to make a list of things you like in a guy and things you don't. Then use it to judge the two guys. The one that has the most characteristics win." I thought it through before grabbing a piece of paper and pen thinking about it.

Layton Kiplinger

Nice teeth

Smile

Hot

Personality

Lovely

Charming

"I need to think about it more but I'll try and do Ivan's too."

With Ivan I came up short yet I still think I liked him.

"This game is stupid." Allison snatched the paper.

"Think again, has Ivan ever done anything to make you feel I don't know, special?" I pondered upon it. "Ok let's start with physical attraction. What is about him that you found attractive?" I flushed.

"Truthfully? Ok. His eyes, his teeth, his height, he has a nice body, those veins that show on his arms too, oh his laugh it's kind of like." I imitated it. "I like that about him."

"Ok now think of things that he has done."

"When we locked ourselves out, he came back for me, em he picked me up one time I was lost, and he gave me his jacket when I was cold. He kind of stuck up for me against Oracle, he held my hand when he threw a mug at me and it caught my ear, he brought me ice cream, he chased a wasp out for me, when the incident happened and I wouldn't shut up and they wanted to hurt me, he begged for them not to. He was there every day when I was in coma. He saved me last week and." I laughed. "He put his number on speed dial for me, you should have seen how-" Allison smiled. Oh no. "Oh my god. I like him don't I?"

Allison nodded.

---