athzagoraphobia || m.c

thirteen

three weeks later

thursday
10:38am

its been three weeks of hell with her boyfriend (are they even together?). she had to spent her days at literal hell with annoying brats talking about the stupidest things in the world.

she wondered every night if he felt bad for her, or hes just busy. what she doesnt know, is that michael and his band went back home to sydney, australia to tour around there for a month the most. he knew she didnt want her to worry about him, but hes just making it worst for her.

she grabbed her phone deciding to break the silence between both of them. she sat down on her bed tapping her foot to a beat as she heard the phone ringing.

it went directly straight to voice mail and she sobbed. she sobbed and sobbed hard that day hating herself for likeing a boy who probably forgot about her.

how can she be such an idiot and let her emotions get the best of her?

if her father was here he would have probably smacked her and said to get over a stupid boy.

but that's if he was here.

(warning may be triggering)

she sobbed even harder remembering her parents death and how shitty her life is.

she got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom. she knew she was going to regret what she was going to do. she knew it but she didnt mind. she hates herself and needs a relief.

she started cutting, slowly then faster as she felt a wave of energy comes at her. she kept doing it until she felt a bit nausious.

she laughed at herself. her pathetic self. how can someone as pathetic as her can live. how can someone who has a fear of being forgotten, love?

she walked towards her kitchen ignoring the drops of blood coming out of her arms. she grabbed a bottle of liqour and dranked. she drank until she couldnt even feel her legs.

she knew she was losing lots of blood but she just felt like dying.

she walked out of her apartment knocking onto the neighbor's apartment to ask for more liqour.

she knew her neighbors probably did have since they are a few cute guys who have parties like normal college kids do.

she knocked and knocked giggling to herself on the beats she was making.

when one of the boys opened the door, they looked at her with a confused look on her face.

"hi, im the neighbor next door and i was going to ask if you have any liqour i can drink." she said giggling softly.

in a matter of seconds another boy walked behind the one standing at the door and glanced as the blood dripped off her arm.

the boy nodded his head letting her enter the apartment. she learned their names were chris, and carter.

carter took her to sit on the couch as he cleaned up her arms a bit. chris went around his apartment looking to see if he had anything to help the poor, broken girl sitting in his living room.

as carter finishing cleaning one arm, he felt the girl (who he learned that her name was aspen) slowly losing concious. he started hitting her arm a bit for her to wake up but nothing work.

carter screamed at chris to call 911. chris of course, was confused as in why he was calling but he did it anyways.

as both boys were worried for aspen, aspen felt blackness surrond her vision and body.

she felt numb.

she felt dead.

-
i so dont regret this cliffhanger