shane squad imagines

i cant - Shane

(If you deal with depression, anxiety, or anything, and need someone to talk to, I'm here, just pm me. <3)

I was sitting up, alone in bed. It was two in the morning, and I just felt numb, but I also felt sad, and I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to talk about it. Hell, i wanted to scream, and cry.

I heard a knock on my door, "come in." I mumbled.
"Are you okay?" Shane asked me.
"Why wouldnt I be?" I asked
"You're up at 2 in the morning, and you look upset." Shane said.
"You're up too." I told him, trying to avoid the question.

"That's beside the point, I can tell something is wrong." Shane told me.
I put on a fake smile, looked up, and wiped away my tears, that now stained my face.
"I'm fine." I muttered.
"No, you're not..." Shane said gently. "And that's okay."

"I'm okay, really." I lied again, smiling bigger.
"Come on, let's go to the living room and talk." Shane told me.
"Shane..." I said.
"No, this isnt an option." He said softly.
"Fine." I said putting on my robe and slippers and going to the living room.

We sat down on the couch.
"Y/n, I'm your brother. You know you can talk to me." Shane said.
"But, I just..." I started.
"How are you, really?" Shane asked.
"Fine, I'm not okay. I'm numb, but I'm also sad. I'm breathing, but, it's hard to, and I feel like I'm drowning. I'm screaming for help, and no one," I said crying and leaning my head on Shane's shoulder.
"No one what?" Shane asked me 
"No one hears me... it's like, as long as you say, you're okay, it's fine. It's like. They want to ask, to be polite, but they dont really care how you feel." I told him.
Shane looked at me and frowned. "We do care, trust me. But, I cant really talk to you about it, or help you, if you dont ask for help." Shane said.

"I know, it's just, not easy to talk about." I told him.
"I know y/n/n, but if you need help, you should talk to someone." Shane told me.
I nodded my head.
Shane got up to go back to bed, "wait." I said.
"What?" He asked gently.
"I dont want to be alone right now, I'm scared of what would happen. Let's just watch some movies, okay?" I said.
"Anything that helps." Shane said sitting back down by me.
"Thanks." I told him.
"Anytime." Shane said.