𝗚𝗢𝗧𝟳 𝗜𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 𝟮

warning ; jb

A/N: GUYS I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY SAYING THIS BUT OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO SEE GOT7 IN KL AND OH MY GOD GUYS YOU GUYS MY PARENTS GAVE ME PERMISSION TO GO FOR ROCK ZONE OH GOD YOU GUYS I'M SHAKING :( PLEASE WISH ME LUCK FOR BARRICADE GUYS I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!! I'LL KEEP Y'ALL POSTED ON THE UPDATES IF YOU GUYS WANT! 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'(Y/N),' a sleepy voice, greeted you, muffled by the closed bathroom door as you inhaled, coughing, panicked at the sound of Jaebeom's voice on the other side. 'Are you in there? I really need to use the washroom, please,' he pleaded in a pitiable voice.

'I'm just-,' you coughed, swiping away at the sweet-smelling mists that had curled in front of your face. Jerking your hand, you stuffed the e-cig into your makeup bag, piling all your cosmetics on top of it, praying that it would conceal the silver device. Simultaneously, you creaked open the bathroom window, praying for a stiff breeze that would blow away the scent that lingered in the room. You cursed yourself for purchasing such a sweet scent, but it had been a new flavour and you had been dying to try it out.

'You're just what?" his grumpy voice asked, as you panicked even more, twisting the tap open, making it sound like you were doing something in the bathroom, trying to mask your incriminating actions.

You had never been a smoker per say. You had seen your uncles, your father, your grandfather, basically most of the male members in your family smoke, and you hated the suffocating smell of tobacco and burnt paper that they seemed to enjoy so much. So, having grown up in an atmosphere where smoking was a norm, you weren't that hesitant when you were hooked up with an e-cig in a party back in your first year of college.

One Year Ago

You adjusted your blouse, smoothing your tight skirt, and checked the straps of your heels to ensure that you didn't have some sort of co-ordination malfunction at the party which would not only be incredibly embarrassing but also not the best way to start your first year in college.

Your nose tingled at the sweet, unidentifiable, heady scent that had permeated the room. It reminded you of jelly beans, cotton-candy and bubblegum, all condensed into a wonderful mist that seemed to wrap itself around you.

'Hey,' a group of girls giggled in the corner where they were wreathed in the sweet smog, the smoke curling and unfurling from their mouths, as they passed around shiny metallic looking devices, inhaling deeply, before sighing, contentedly.

'You want some? We have the good stuff,' a girl with long jet black hair, beckoned as she saw the curiosity in your eyes. She looked ethereal, mystical, the dim lighting and the smog, emphasising her mysterious aura. And you had been sucked in, as if the curling fingers of smoke had roped you in and entrapped you in their suffocating sweetness.

You hadn't seen a problem with it really, to you, it was just recreation, having a little bit of fun. Besides, according to 'scientists' e-cigs or vapes were supposed to be way better for health than actual cigarettes or tobacco or at least that's what you told yourself everytime you inhaled another mouthful of the addictive concoction.

But then, you had met Jaebeom a year later. In the beginning when he had first asked you out, you left your e-cig at home, not knowing how he would react, some men were okay with it, their women smoking and some were against it. Jaebeom, unfortunately, you found out on your fourth date was a firm believer in the latter category.

Both of you had passed by an alley, taking a shortcut back to his place, when a bunch of hot mess, drunken girls passed by, smelling strongly of smoke, as one of them passed the cigarette to another, the smog filling the night air, as Jaebeom, glared at them once before walking past at a brisk place, so much so that you had to job to catch up with him.

'What's wrong?" you had asked, looking up at the cold, tight expression on his face, his jaw clenched.

'I don't like... people who smoke,' he muttered, his hands deep in his pockets, eyes distant. 'Why do that to your body? For fun? For a bit of a high?" he snapped, his sharp jawline getting more and more prominent as he got steadily worked up about it.

He slowed down to match your pace but you could still see the intense look of disapproval brimming in his eyes. You hadn't dared to ask about e-cigarettes but from his reaction, he seemed to be against it in general, no matter what the excuse.

That was the problem. You loved Jaebeom. Whole-heartedly. You had tried to stop, truly you had. Experimenting with all sorts of methods, all those cheap home remedies that was supposed to suppress the addiction to nicotine, those pharmaceutical Nicotine patches that was supposed to be adhesive on the skin and slowly wean of people that were on e-cigs or cigarettes. No matter what you tried or what you did, nothing seemed to be able to satisfy you more than a good tug of your e-cig after a long, exhausting day of work.

Flashback End

'(Y/N)? (Y/N)?' came Jaebeom's frantic voice as the knocking on the door got louder as well as more urgent.

'Are you okay? You've been in there a-,' you cut him off midsentence, by abruptly opening the door, greeting him with a smile as you turned off the tap, the e-cig digging into the palms of your hand.

'Sorry, took me a while,' you acted sheepish. 

'You sure cause...' he cut himself off as he stepped into the washroom, noticing for the first time, the lingering sweet scent of your vape, which despite your best efforts had not been completely eradicated from the air.

'I was just trying out a new perfume, sorry if it smells a bit girlish,' you attempted to look playfully guilty, as you heard him chuckle.

'I like it,' he took a slight sniff. 'Smells sort of sweet though, but I like it,' was all he said before firmly shutting the door behind him, allowing you to heave a sigh of relief that you hadn't realised you had been holding the entire time.

You sat on the edge of your bed, quickly hiding the e-cig and your cosmetics in the lowest drawer which was where you kept your other feminine products, knowing that Jaebeom, could barely look at the drawer much less ransack or go through it.

How were you going to get out of this? You asked yourself the same question over and over again until it seemed to be an endless loop in your head, as you stared at the relatively small gadget that winked at you mockingly in the dim light of the bedside lamp. You so desperately wanted to quit, but you weren't strong enough and if he ever found out...

'Babe?' his voice emerged from the washroom as you slammed the drawer shut with you heel of your foot, producing a loud bang that echoed in the silence.

'Sorry, just counting my pads, I was planning to go to the store tomorrow, do you need anything?" you diverted the topic of discussion into safer waters as you watched with some amusement as his ears turned red.

'No I'm-uh good thanks,' he mumbled, tips of his ears still lobster red as he crawled into bed next to you.

One Month Later

You were still fretting on how to tell Jaebeom about your... condition? Addiction? You weren't even sure how to label it. All you knew was that the truth had to come out and come out soon, but there was always the sense of fear that held you back, the 'what-if' that kept lingering in your thoughts.

Unfortunately, you would soon find out that it would be too late.