Expect The Unexpected

Chapter 19

Its been 2 weeks since I've been dating Ryan and honestly I couldn't be happier.

The date 2 weeks ago was great I remember it ,at first I ain't gon lie it was awkward ,because I guess we were both nervous and yeah but we stopped after a few minutes of talking.

Its weird how comfortable I am with him cause I really am a person that takes time before I'm comfortable with anyone but with him its weirdly natural .

Now we are currently in he's penthouse,this place is gorgeous like seeing it I get jealous I want to re do my apartment because of him ,that's how much I envy it.

Anyways we curled up in the couch as I play with he's hair ,he's head laying on my thighs rubbing slightly ,in silence as I watch Netflix.

Babe"he says I humm still staring at the TV.

Baby"he pokes  my cheeky for my attention so I take the remote switch off the TV and stare down at him.

What is it Ry ,damm?"I ask making him chuckle.

What's funny now ?"I ask

You are"he says and I smile kissing he's forehead.

I wanna ask you something ,don't get offended or anything okay ?"he says cautiously, I chuckle and nod

Yeah,go ahead "I tell him .

When we were at the charity ball event,people would stare at you and I don't know if I notice weird things but you looked kinda uncomfortable ,at first I thought its just my imagination then again on stage you looked like that for a second why is that ?" He asks and sigh.

Yeah well about that "I mumble.

I don't like attention that much ,it makes me uncomfortable" I tell him ,he nods.

Knew it"he says making me laugh.

Plus "I say he raised an eyebrow.

Plus?" He asks and I nod.

I have anxiety ,you know what that is right? "I ask him, he nods looking confused.

I've heard a lot of it,but still educate me" he says and I smirk.

You know let's say I'm on stage or something I'm already uncomfortable with people's eyes on me ,and I just urgh I hate it ."

Then my anxiety cause me to jump to conclusions,wild ass stupid thoughts on about how badly they think or something then I start to panick but growing up I've gotten a bit used to it but  honestly I can never be fully used to it"I tell him with a frown.

He looks at me worriedly.

Damm"he says and I nod

Yeah,it used to be worse in highschool right after my mom died-god rest her soul, I'd get panick attacks every time I'm the centre of attention ,but it was hard not being centre of attention with being the soccer team captain and having the friends I had /have ,My phycologists told me the best way to fight it was to face it so that's what I've been doing since "I tell him with a shurg.

Impressive, is that why you're a phycologists?" He asks

Part of it"I tell him he raises an eyebrow.

My mother died of drug overdose"I tell him,he's eyes widen for a minute .

Yeah ,I'm a very observant person "I say he nods eagerly making me laugh.

I never saw the change of behavior in her ,I guess she masked it pretty good I've always wondered how a person does that ,besides I've always been fascinated with the human brain so my mom dying just pushed me to that direction" I tell him with a sigh.