Into You •Finnpoe Stormpilot•

Chapter XVII

"I think I'm gonna get a motel tonight," Poe said after an hour of silence. They hadn't said a word and had been sitting on opposite sides of the room doing their own thing. Every now and then, they would glance at each other and meet eyes just to break their necks to turn away.

"Oh," was all Finn said. He still hadn't processed all that had happened. He just started leaning towards Poe and he didn't know why. Like something was drawing him towards him and he couldn't stop it.

"I have a gig tomorrow and it's a little far anyway," Poe said as he stood and made the floor creaked under his weight. He walked towards the side of the room where Finn was and opened his dresser to grab some clothes for tomorrow.

Finn shifted on the bed crossing his feet underneath his legs anxiously. He wasn't sure what to say. Obviously he had made Poe uncomfortable and he wasn't about to ask him to stay if he was. "That's good."

Poe nodded and crouched under the bed reaching around for the small suitcase he knew was there, along with his guitar. He grabbed both of them and laid them before him opening the suitcase and placing his clothes inside.

His heart sunk further and further into a dark pit with every piece of clothing he packed. He didn't want to leave but Finn didn't need him around when he was feeling like that. It felt like he was leaving for a long time when he looked into the suitcase and realized it was already full. He wasn't leaving leaving, was he?

"That's a lot of clothes," Finn breathed letting the air hit his thumb that was tracing over his lips back and forth worriedly. Poe was leaving him, wasn't he?

Poe sighed with a frown set on his face and zipped up the suitcase to finally face Finn. "It might be a few days. I have back-to-back gigs and I'll be busy for most of the time."

He was going to be busy; he'd been booked solid for the next week and any time he had to himself he'd be using to try and forget today.

"Oh," Finn said. He didn't know what else to say. He barely could get the other things he said and that was nearly unbearable. There were so many questions he longed to ask and multiple problems he was desperate to solve.

"Yeah," Poe mumbled. He wasn't sure whether to say anything before he left, more importantly, he wasn't sure if he would be able to get anything out. "I'll... I'll see you in a few days."

Finn had to will himself to stay on the bed and not get up to say something to him. He could take him to his gigs and watch him play, they could talk about what happened, there was so much more they could do instead of leave each other. But he just sighed and said, "Bye."

With a small nod, Poe picked his cases up and with a heavy heart, walked out the door.

•••

Finn couldn't sleep. His mind was racing with questions of why he did what he did. Along with that, his bed was too cold to be comfortable enough to sleep. He couldn't find the right spot to sleep in so he kept shifting around. After several long uncomfortable minutes, Finn realized why he couldn't fall asleep. Poe wasn't next to him.

He decided that after he came back from his busy week, they would figure things out. Maybe even talk about whatever this was that he was feeling.

Finn nodded contently at the decision he came to and laid back to hopefully get some sleep.

After a few minutes, his body lurched up into a sitting position and he pressed his hand against his forehead in shock.

"I'm in love with Poe."

•••

Poe got undressed, laid down on the too-hard mattress and tried to fall asleep. After shifting for half an hour, he finally found a decent position that allowed him to fall asleep but a little while later, there he was sweating and trying to catch his breath.

He tangled his fingers and hair together as his bare chest rose and fell at a fast pace. Why was it now- when he didn't have Finn next to him- that his nightmares came back?

He needed sleep desperately for the upcoming week since he wouldn't get any during the day. But he knew that'd be a hard task to accomplish if he couldn't stay asleep for more than an hour.

He sent a silent prayer up to the stars that Finn would somehow be at his door waiting for him but he knew that would never happen- and it didn't.

It took the rest of the night for him to manage to get a few hours of sleep in. He tried working with what he had to look nice but he knew it wasn't impressive. His hair wouldn't stay in the position he had brushed it into but gave up after a few moments and more gel than was probably convenient. At least his outfit was nice.

His gigs did, in fact, take up the whole day which to his dismay never gave him a chance to phone back to the apartment. He told himself that Finn was probably busy anyway and wasn't expecting anything from him- not that he needed anything anyway.

The rest of his week was filled with the same routine. He was playing on only a few hours of sleep and the bags under his eyes only got heavier. By the end of the week, he looked like an absolute mess.

He didn't have much time to think about Finn and he wasn't prioritizing it. He desperately missed it though. His favorite parts of the day was when they would act stupid and joke around and especially those moments where they would just smile at each other randomly. It wasn't that he needed Finn, it was more important than that, he wanted him.