It Started With A Fire

Chapter 20: Tough

Chapter 20: Tough

"What's going on Liam?" Hazel asks. I feel as if my heart has stopped, looking around to see who brought Benjamin home early. I'm surprised to see Dakota in the corner, panicked.

"Hazel I uh. I'm not sure. Dakota?" I ask. Why the fuck is she in my dorm room?

"I'll give you two some alone time," is all she says before rushing out of the room. Benjamin is still on the floor, smiling at me.

"Liam? Is there something going on between you and Dakota? It all makes sense now....the tension at dinner that one night and why she's always allowed over here and not me....how long have you been keeping this a secret from me? How could you have hid such a huge factor in our relationship from me! I've told you everything! What the hell is going on here?" Hazel screams. I run my fingers through my hair, not even sure how to begin.

"It's not what you think," I say, not caring how cliche it seems.

"Then well the hell am I supposed to think?  You've hid your own damn child from me! I've told you about Elijah for fucks sake! You can't even tell me about this huge part of your life? I think I'm gonna be sick," she says running towards the trash can. I didn't think she'd actually throw up. Oh god.

"That's because he's technically not even my child," I tell her.

"What the hell do you mean technically?" She asks breathlessly.

"It's a long story..." I tell her.

"I have time," she replies a bit angrily.

"I'm not Benjamin's biological father. His parents names are actually Hunter Blake and Maura Reed," I say already feeling something heavy in my chest. I haven't actually talked about them in so long even though they never leave my mind.

"Okay, then why do you have him? Why does he call you da-da?" She says. I then proceed to pick up Benjamin, holding him tightly in my arms.

"Well. I'm his god-father. His parents were in a horrid freak accident and they're no longer around... Maura was my best mate, we was like peas and carrots. She was brought up in foster homes, but we always found our way back to each other. She hated the system and I just couldn't....I wouldn't live with myself if her son encountered the same fate. I want to raise him as well as they would have. He means so much to me. It was hard for me to see that a first, but I've come to accept it. I was actually planning on telling you soon, but I was so afraid of rejection. I'm so sorry. I just didn't know what to do. I was still grieving and trying to handle things on my own and adjust and I'm just barely doing that," I say and I know my eyes are watery, but so are hers. She just stares at me in silence, but I see so much pain in her eyes and her features. It hurts me to know that I caused that. I wish I could go back in time just so I could fix everything. I never wanted to hurt anyone. That was never my intention, but it looks like I've just inflicted the pain that I've been feeling on to another and I never wish for this.

"What happened to his parents...?" Hazel asks barely above a whisper. I'm surprised by her question. Why does she care? Why does anyone care?

"They uh they passed," I tell her.

"I know, but how?" She questions further. I notice the serious look in her eyes as she clutches the garabge can. I've sickened her. I'm such a fool.

"It was an accident, I think. Someone threw a flaming bottle of vodka in to their kitchen the week before their wedding. Hunter got little Ben out, but went back for Maura. None of them made it out," I reply, already crying really hard. To make situations worse, Benjamin starts crying too.

"I. I'm so sorry. I've got to go," she says immediately after I tell her.

"Hazel wait!" I call as she starts to walk away.

"No Liam. Please. I just need time," she says as she leaves outside. I see Zayn and Dakota standing there, watching confused. I know when Zayn is caught up though when his face towards me contorts in to one of anger.

"Damn it Payne. I told you this would happen," Zayn says in anger before running off towards Hazel. I hear some screaming going on, but I just cry, not daring to look at Dakota's sympathetic look.

"I understand," Dakota says after a moment. I look up at her confused.

"What do you mean?" I wordlessly gasp. Benjamin is still crying as well and my anger and annoyance and self-hatred is rising.

"You have a fear of abandonment. It's understandable after what happened to Maura and Hunter. You're afraid of the world, but life's tough. You can't hide yourself away from the world," Dakota says.

I've never realized it until, but I'm starting to think that she's right.

"You know what mate? I think it'd be best if both you and Benjamin stayed somewhere else tonight," Zayn says as he angrily storms back in to the room. I nod.

"I understand."