in between all things

Chapter Twenty

"Ash please reconsider staying with me tonight." My dad said for what seemed like the fiftieth time. I rolled my eyes at him and continued to pack some clothes.

"And why would I do that father?"

I heard dad sigh from behind me. "We don't want your progress to be lost, Asher. We don't want Jace to hurt you anymore than he already has." My dad explained.

I turned to face my dad. "Jace has left home. No one knows where he is dad. So don't worry about all your hard work going to waste."

Dad smiled slightly and leaned against my door frame. "That's good. He's a disgrace to his parents. I'm assuming your brother told you? I don't him talking to that boy anymore."

I scoffed. "Dad, Jace has been our friend for years. You can't say that about him."

At that dad's usual anger reentered his eyes. "He's a faggot Ash. He's a bad influence."

"I'm a faggot too dad." I said flatly, turning back around and grabbing my bag.

"Your not a faggot! Your confused Ashy." Dad said in an odd blend of sadness and sternness.

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, going downstairs. My family was full of ignorant idiots. I couldn't deal with this anymore, but I still stayed. Jace just left. With any warning. I hate him for that. I had a really hard believing he was in trouble. He's always wanted to leave so he did, but I was stuck here.

Let me tell you, when Drew and I find him I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

"Bye, Asher." Leyla said from the couch, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked at her in hatred.

"Whatever." I spat at her, walking out the door and towards the bus stop. Once I reached the stop, the bus came a few minutes later. I sat on a window seat on the bus, looking out the window the whole ride. Call me crazy, but I'd always loved the South side more than I did the North. In the South we were a family, a fucked up one but a close one - or at least we use to be. Up in the North side you did what you were suppose to do but other than that you were alone. You fended for yourself.

"Get up kid. This is the last stop." I jumped as I heard the bus driver call at me. I sighed and hulled my bag after me and off the bus.

I felt like taking the turn off to Jace's house but I knew his parent's wouldn't appreciate me turning up at their house. After I had been shipped off to my dad's, my parents has told Jace's parents about us. That was around the time Jace had started to fail in contacting me.

As I approached my house, I bit my lip. I usually liked to avoid coming home because I couldn't face my mum. The look in her eyes when she saw me, killed me. So I just cling to Drew and let him go on and on about pointless shit. I was glad though, that tonight I'd have a distraction.

I searched around in my bag and found my keys. I unlocked the front and stepped inside. Everything looked the same from the last time I was here, which was about a month or so ago. As I slammed the front door closed, Drew came running down the stairs and tackled me into a hug.

I laughed and hugged him back tightly. I missed Drew so much. I missed our stupid arguments and endless shenanigans. "Don't strangle me."

Drew shot me an apologetic look and released me. "Oh sorry, Ash. I just feel like I haven't seen you in years."

I punched him in the shoulder and laughed. "I missed you too. Now we have to talk about Jace."

Drew nodded. "We do, but not right now."

I shook my head at him. "I only came here to look for him Drew. I'm sorry but it's the truth."

"Oh. Okay. That makes sense." He said, with a forced smile. I knew I sounded like an asshole but I really did hate being here, when it reminded me if everything I lost. And I loved Drew, but I couldn't help be jealous of him; he still had our parent's love and acceptance.

"Yeah." I muttered, walking past him and upstairs to my old room. I threw my bag on my bed and searched it for the bottle of vodka I had stashed in there earlier. I gulped down a few bitter swallows, and waited for it to kick in. Once it had, I smiled to myself. I loved this feeling. I loved feeling so detached from reality, because nothing hurt then. Everything was just an ignorant bliss.

When I heard a knock at my door I quickly shoved the bottle back in my bag and shouted, "Its open!"

Drew opened my door swiftly and closed it again. He smiled at me and sat on my bed. "So Jace."

I nodded at him and rubbed my eyes. "Tonight we look for him at the usual places and tomorrow night I'm going to take the chance and search the North side."

"Why would he be in the North side?" Drew asked confused.

I rolled my eyes. "Your right. He probably wouldn't be there but I might as well look. Anyways, first we start off looking at Rikers then-"

"Ash. Stop. Calm down." Drew said calmly.

I took a deep breath. "I am calm."

"Sure you are." Drew said sarcastically.

"Whatever." I mumbled. "You up for coming with me tonight?"

Drew nodded. "Of course I am."

"Good."

"Drew!" I jumped when I heard my mum call up at us. Drew leaped up and steadied me.

"Let's go Ash."

I shook my head. "I don't want to."

Drew shot me a look. "I don't care. Your coming." He said, dragging me downstairs and towards our mother. When she saw us, she looked up smiling until she saw me.

"Oh hi, Ash." She greeted.

"What no calling me Ashy?"

Mum smiled slightly. "You have always hated when I called you Ashy."

"That had never stopped you before." I said, trying to keep happy. Though really I felt like I was dying. Everything was hurting. I wasn't Ashy to my mum anymore. And as much as I hated the name, it was a part of me and it felt like it was being ripped away from me.

Mum ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "We'll I'm tired, so I'm going to bed." She said, kissing Drew on the forehead and smiling at me. I watched as she went upstairs. She couldn't even face me for very long anymore, go figures.

I felt Drew's hand land on my shoulder. "You okay, Ashy?"

"Yeah, fine." I lied.