in between all things

Epilogue

Ten years later...

"Daddy Jace! Daddy Ash! Aunt Macie! Look what we found!"

I sighed as my son Drew, my daughter Luna and Macie's little girl Karlie came running up to us holding a worm each. I rolled my eyes and made an ugly noise.

"Cool!" Jace smiled widely and looked at me funnily. Jace knew I hated worms and he knew I hated when my children touched them.

Why couldn't they just stay clean and be good kids? I do not need more me, Jace and Macie's running around. And just thinking of them as teens made me feel dizzy.

"Put them back." I said patiently, rubbing my temples. I watched as the three musketeers pouted.

Or should I say five, because Macie and Jace joined in on the pouting.

"Oh come on Asher, stop being so uptight. They remind me of us when we were little."

I gave Macie an annoyed look."Exactly my point."

I got out of seat and picked up Drew and held him upside down along my back. He laughed and tried to get out of my embrace.

"Daddy Jace! Help me!"

I usually was very thankful for Jace but right now, not so much. He stole Drew away from me gently and ran off with Luna and Karlie. They went to the old plastic swing set that Drew and I had played on as kids. My mum had given it to us at the baby shower. (Don't ask me why)

I sighed and went back to Macie, who was smoking a cigarette.

"If Jace sees you smoking that he's gonna be mad."

Macie shook her head and finished her smoke. "He needs to stop being scared that he's going to relapse."

"He's not scared, well not really. He's just anti smoking and drugs. He's fine with alcohol but just no other drugs."

About nine years ago, Jace got out of rehab and we had a decent conversation. It took a lot of convincing for us to get back together. I had dated Jamie for two years before we broke up and after that Jace was there for me and he didn't make any moves. I think what made me give him another chance was that he grew up.

I sat next to Macie and watched the kids and Jace eyeball us and pretend to be gossiping horrible stuff about us. We laughed and shared a look. I was glad I had Macie.

I was glad for my kids.

I was glad for everything in general.

I wished my brother was here though, he would have been the best uncle. I also wished I had all my highschool friends with me too, like Delilah, but we had drifted apart about 9 years after Jace had gotten out of rehab. The last I heard she had a family and nice wife.

The one person I don't regret not talking to anymore is my dad. I know it might be cruel to cut off my kids from their grandpa but as far as I'm concerned they don't need that negative energy. They also don't need that underling homophobia around them. I don't deserve that either and I'm happy I realised that.

Plus they have my mum and Leyla (she divorced my dad), who I'm glad both my mum and I have a relationship with. She's lovely when you get to know her, and I've learnt to accept that it wasn't anyone's fault that my parent's marriage fell apart. Life just works like that.

I just hope my marriage doesn't fall apart, but I doubt it will. Jace seems to be walking on eggshells sometimes. It's like he's so scared of fucking things up that he doesn't see me at times.

"You're zoning out again." Macie observed, waving her hand in front of my face.

"Oh sorry, what were you saying?"

"I said that Damo is coming over."

"I still can't believe you're marrying him. You use to think he was a shithead."

Macie shrugged. "I love him, plus he really stood up when Louis left. Karlie deserves a dad and Damo's a great guy for filling that position."

Five years ago, Louis and Macie had gotten back together and had Karlie, but Louis got scared and fucked off.

By then Damo and Macie were getting hella close and he'd come over to play with Karlie. From there, they just became a couple and Karlie started calling Damo daddy.

Even though I don't adore Damo all that much, I have so much respect for him. There's no better man than one who steps up to parenthood when the biological father wouldn't. That's true maturity and love.

I hope Louis doesn't come back though. Karlie needs the stability that Damien offers.

"Righto then. I guess I agree."

Twenty minutes later Damo came over with some vodka cruisers and Jace whipped out the barbie and started cooking sausages for dinner.

We all laughed and had fun. Like old times. Except I wasn't stuck in the past anymore. Somewhere along the way I had realised that was my problem; I was too sentimental about the past and forgot to live in the moment.

At around 9pm, everyone left and the kids were in bed. Jace and I sat on the couch and were utterly content with each other.

"I love you." Jace whispered against my lips as he kissed me.

I kissed him back. "I love you more."

"Forever and always."

"To the moon and — oh damn, just kiss me. This is too sappy for me." I said, holding onto his tee-shirt tight and kissing him hard.

Jace moaned and held me tight.

Everything was so perfect.

And I swear I'd never felt more alive than in this moment.