in between all things

Chapter Thirty-Three

"Ashy." Jace said for the fifth time. His strong pale arms were wrapped around me as we both sat in the hospital waiting room.

I dug my face into his chest on continued to sob uncontrollably. Why was this happening? Why did I have to lose Drew? You see other people's families have to go through this on the news, but not the Sage's. This kind of stuff doesn't happen to us.

"Why?" I chocked out. Jace ran his hands through my hair and kissed me softly. I could tell Jace was silently crying also; his voice was strained and his composure was broken.

"I don't know. I guess we should have listened in health class." Jace said sadly.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused. I lifted my head up to face Jace. His eyes were as wet as my own were.

Jace bit his lip and kissed my forehead. "Remember when we were learning about drinking before your 18 is bad? And Drew just laughed? I wish we had listened."

Before Jace had even finished speaking I had started to cry again, even though I had attempted to look at the florescent lights to keep from crying. "I wish too."

"Asher?" My mum asked, causing me to turn around. She looked pale and washed out and it was clear that she was even struggling to speak.

Once Damo had dropped us off at the hospital, my parents were already here talking with the doctors. I figured my mum was here to tell me if Drew had survived or not, since dad refused to speak to me if Jace was around.

I felt more panicky than ever as I attempted to speak, luckily for me Jace kissed my forehead and turned to my mum. "Is he—?"

My mum nodded, putting her head in her hands and sitting down at a chair next to me. I turned to her and wrapped my arms around her. Drew was gone. He was never coming back. What was Jace and I going to do without the guy who kept us stable?

"Mum I'm sorry." I muttered. If I didn't let Drew drink maybe he'd be still alive. This was all my fault.

"You didn't force Andrew to drink, Ashy." Mum chocked out, all three of us were still crying heavily. Just as I was about to reply, dad came out into the waiting room angry.

Dad was never sad. He just got horribly anger. I watched as dad's gaze landed on Jace and I wrapped my arms around his protectively. Jace was all I had now. I'm not giving him up.

"What's that boy doing here?" Dad growled.

I attempted to stand up, but my legs wouldn't hold me so I collapsed back onto the chair. But still, I was determined to protect Jace. "Dad not now."

"Don't not now me."

"Ash stop. I'll leave." Jace said, trying to hide his disappointment. I knew how much Drew's death was affecting him. They'd been best friends for majority of their lives.

"No Jace." I said, feeling my eyes starting to prickle with tear at the thought of Drew. "Dad your sons dead! Stop doing this."

That's when dad's anger really happened. He rushed over and grabbed Jace by the arm and tried to pull him away. Jace was strong but dad was by all means stronger. Mum and I watched them fight, though we were both too weak to do anything.

After a lot of kicking and hospital staff trying to intervene, dad was escorted out of the building and Jace was left with a bruise near his eye.

"I'm leaving Ash. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Jace said, leaning over and kissing me lightly. "I love you."

I nodded, understanding that everything was too messed up right now. We need to sort out our emotions by ourselves right now.

"I love you too." I said as I watched Jace leave. I felt mum's gaze on me but I was too scared to look at her. I couldn't face her disapproving eyes right now.

We sat in silence for a while, I assume our thought on Drew. I was in compete shock and I knew that this was all my fault. If—

"It's not your fault Ash." Mum said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "It's really not."

"Did I speak out loud again?"

Mum smiled slightly and nodded. "You always do that."

I smiled back and we both laughed, until we realized that we shouldn't be laughing yet. It was too soon. "I'm sorry that I didn't do enough to save him."

"Jace—" Mum started saying.

"Please don't say bad things about Jace right now."

Mum shook her head. "I wasn't. I was going to say that the doctors found out that Jace tried CPR on Drew and that made him live a while longer."

I felt tears starting to roll down my cheeks. Jace knows CPR? Jace almost saved Drew? This was all too much to take in right now. "Okay."

"You really love him?" Mum asked. What was she trying to do? Now that she's lost her favourite she's sucking up to the kid she gave up on?

"Yes." I replied simply.

Mum nodded. "I'm sorry that your dad did that."

"I'm use to Jace-Abuse. It's like his favorite hobby."

Mum let out a sound that was crossed between a laugh and a cry. "God your so much like Drew."

I looked at mum curiously. "I'm nothing like Drew. He's perfect and amazing and the best son. And I'm a sarcastic little disappointing shit."

Throughout mine and mum's conversation I've noticed that we both couldn't refer to Drew as was. I don't think neither of us can accept the fact that he's gone yet.

"Please don't think like that." Mum said.

"But it's the truth."

Mum shook her head. "I love you both. Neither of you are better than each other." Mum assured me and hugged me tight.

Never in my life had I missed Drew more than in this moment.