TW: This book has a lot of descriptions of abuse and because of how often it is, there are no trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters. Take this as a warning for the whole book.
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Samuel never thought that moving out of his childhood home wo...
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xxx. Lost Jobs
The day had started just like any other day: with me on the couch and Taylor sleeping in the bed that was supposed to be mine as well. I'd stood up, walked into the kitchen, and started on breakfast for the both of us. I usually didn't eat in the mornings, but today I decided to eat a sandwich.
I had just finished making the sandwiches for both Taylor and I when Taylor stumbled into the room. Her hair was a mess, and she wore the clothes from yesterday. I greeted her with a "Good morning, babe" and placed a plate into her hand.
It was already two weeks after Thanksgiving, and I'd fallen into a new routine. Every day I'd wake up around an hour before Taylor would go to work, make some food for her, and eventually watch her leave when the time came. After she was gone, I would start on my own work. I'd get everything done, and maybe even work on getting things done so I could have less work for the next day if I really felt like it. After working, I'd do everything I could to distract myself from the growing feeling of loneliness in my heart.
I ignored all of my feelings, just focusing on everything I needed to do. I just didn't have time to worry about how lonely I was, or how much my hand hurt after every time Taylor hit, cut, or scratched it.
I was aware of all of the bruises and cuts I'd gotten in the past two weeks, but I ignored them and lived like every step I took didn't hurt.
Taylor had been more angry lately, and I wasn't sure why. I wasn't doing anything, at least anything I was aware of. Maybe I had started to do something that just ticked her off, and I hadn't even noticed I was doing it. She never said why she was angry.
After Taylor had eaten, I expected her to get up and start to get ready for work. She didn't. She just sat there in her seat and watched silently as I chewed my sandwich. Minutes went by, and I finished eating. I started to do some work in the living room, hoping Taylor would get up and leave. When I realised she was already late for work, I knew something was seriously up.
"Babe, why aren't you going to work?" I asked cautiously. She was acting weird today.
Taylor sighed, sadness lacing her words as she spoke, "I haven't been truthful to you about something, Benjamin." My eyebrows furrowed. I knew she lied about a lot of things to me, but she never admitted it. This must have been big.
I stood up and went to sit next to Taylor. I placed my hand on her arm. "Is this about work?" I asked. Taylor nodded.
"I-I was fired a few weeks ago," She mumbled. Her lip wobbled slightly and I knew she was hurting. This wasn't her faking it to trick me. This was genuine hurt.
"Oh. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. I could feel a bit of my old self resurfacing as I spoke to her in a soft voice, careful not to hurt her.
"I was ashamed. I've been looking for a job, but it's not working," She told me. Her voice wavered as she spoke. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest. More of my old self was leaking through the cracks in the thick stone walls I had built up to protect myself.
