TW: This book has a lot of descriptions of abuse and because of how often it is, there are no trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters. Take this as a warning for the whole book.
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Samuel never thought that moving out of his childhood home wo...
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xlii. Not Accepting Defeat
A week after Taylor and I did some shopping for the baby, everything I'd bought arrived at my door. Three boxes, all containing different things, stacked one on top of another.
Just looking at the cardboard boxes made my hand twitch. I knew I wouldn't be able to carry the crib inside by myself, but I could carry the two smaller boxes that only contained some clothes and toys.
I stepped out into the hallway to grab one of the boxes so that it was under my arm, between my torso and arm. It was a bit difficult, but I managed to haul the two smaller boxes inside the apartment. The crib, though, I knew I'd have problems with it.
Since my other hand was useless, and Taylor was God knows where, I resorted to dragging the box into the apartment. I somehow managed to scuff the floor in our entryway and I ended up having to cover it with a pair of shoes until I could get us a carpet or something to hide it. I just hoped that Taylor wouldn't see it and get mad at me.
No matter how paranoia inducing this time of peace with Taylor was, I wanted it to last as long as possible. I could live with a few less hours of sleep, as long as I could actually live.
Only minutes after I successfully dragged the large box into the living room, I heard the apartment door open and close as Taylor stepped inside.
"Hey babe," She called. I grabbed the knife from the cupboard and walked back to the living room. I sat down at the crib box and used the knife to cut the tape so I could open it.
"I said hey," Taylor said, walking up to me. I glanced up and noticed the paper gift bags she was holding and my eyebrows furrowed in a frown.
"Hi," I said cautiously. "What are those?" I couldn't help but be curious as to why she was carrying around brightly coloured paper bags.
"Oh. My friend Hailee wanted to give me some of her kids' old baby clothes. I told her about us having some trouble with affording everything, and she really wanted to help out. Such a sweetheart, isn't she?" Taylor said, and I just about wanted to burst into tears.
I'd spent over a hundred dollars to buy the baby clothes just to keep Taylor happy while her friend was giving us old clothes for free.
"Are you serious?" I asked, feeling flabbergasted. She had just wasted so much of my money on something we wouldn't even need for a very long time anyway. Kids grow up fast, and the clothes they wear when they're young don't matter until they've stopped growing. It was just a huge waste of money to buy new baby clothes for a child who doesn't know better.
"Why do you sound so angry?" Taylor asked, her lower lip wobbling slightly. The way she could be happy one second and then about to burst into tears the second reminded me of how bipolar she could be.
I knew I needed to calm both of us down before I hit a bad place and she snapped. "I'm not angry, babe. I just- I'm just really surprised that's all," I tried to say, but I could tell that she didn't believe me. It was obvious on the way she looked at me.
