Near Yet Still So Far

✿NYSSF 4.2✿

"Is he the ex boyfriend you're talking about?"

I immediately wipe my tears.

I fake a laugh. "W-what are you talking about, Jooheon?"

"Dahyun, I'm not stupid to believe with your excuse," he said

"Then you're saying, Miss Rosé is stupid? Don't be like that, that's bad."

He rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. Aish! You're really great at changing topics."

My eyes widen when he pull me. "Yah! W-what are you doing?"

"Let's have a talk."

"Then why are you pulling me?" I asked

"Let's go to that garden," he said

I just let him pulled me. When we arrived at the garden, we sat at the swing.

"So, care explaining?" he asked

"What am I going to say? What explanation do you need?"

He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

I sighed. "Okay, okay. You're right, he's the boyfriend I was talking about. The one who left me. The one who broke my heart."

He caress my back, my tears started to fall.

"I-I'm still affected. It's been a year since we broke up, but the pain.... the pain's still here," I said between my sobs

"Of course, because you love him too much," he laughed. "I've been working for boss for almost one year, I didn't know boss is capable of hurting someone," he said

I laughed. "I k-know. I thought h-he's loyal to me. I t-thought he's love for me is enough."

"So, when he said someone replace you in his heart, he meant Miss Rosé?"

I looked at him. "I g-guess so."

"Are you mad at Miss Rosé?" he asked

I shook my head. "Why would I be? It's not her fault. Maybe, it's my fault. I'm not enough for... for Jimin, that's why he look for the love he wanted."

"But that's not a good reason to break your heart," he said

I laughed. "I don't want to hear his full reasons because I know that'll hurt me, but there's a part of me that wants to hear it. I don't know. Maybe my friends are right, he have a deeper reason. I don't know what to think anymore."

"Can this change your treatment with Miss Rosé?" he asked

I shook my head. "Of course, not. I'm not gonna hate her just because of Jimin. Miss Rosé doesn't deserve to be hated."

I wipe my tears.

"I'm tired of crying for him. I don't want to waste my tears for him. He doesn't deserve my tears."

He just pat my back. "You don't need to act brave. You're crying because your hurting, that's normal."

"I know, but I don't want to show him that I'm still affected. I've shred many tears for him, and I'm tired."

None of us spoke.

"I'm sorry. If only I had knew you're my boss' ex girlfriend," he said

I slap his shoulder. "Why are you saying sorry? It's not your fault."

He sighed. "Do you really love him that much?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he's the first person I love. And even if he hurts me, I still love him."