Near Yet Still So Far

✿NYSSF 17✿

"I'm glad you came. I thought you changed your mind."

He shook his head. "I didn't. I'm sorry to keep you waiting, this is traffic's fault."

I nodded. "I understand, sit down."

"Okay," he said as he sat at the chair in front of me

I thought he won't come. Goodness! What am I going to do now? Err, calm down, Dubu. Just say it naturally, everything you want to say.

"Let's order first. Wait——

I stop him. "No need. This won't take long."

He shook his head. "Nope. We need to order first."

"But——

He cut me off. "I'm a bit hungry now. Let's just order, please?"

I had no choice but to nod. He ordered our favorite foods.

I don't want to eat but he force me. I called him because I need to clear things out. For closure since I guess, that's all we need right now.

"I want to te——

He cut me off, "I know you have a lot of things to say, but let's eat first. You can say all of that to me later."

I had no choice but to eat. I eat slowly since I don't really feel like eating. I can feel his stares but I just ignored it.

What am I going to say to him? I wrote a long speech last night for this but I forgot everything about it when I saw him. And now, I don't know what to do and what to say.

I heaved a sigh a few times when I saw him finishing his food.

He look at me. "Why aren't you eating? Don't you like the food?"

I shook my head.

"Why? Isn't it tasty?"

"Oh, that's not what I meant. The food is great, I just don't feel like eating. Besides, I'm not here to eat with you, I'm here to——

He cut me off. "Can you let me speak, first? I just want to tell you my true reasons, please?"

I had no choice but to nod. Besides, I want to have a peace of mind, knowing his reasons will help me achieve that. Or not, maybe it'll worsen the situation.

Dubu, don't let your emotions control you. Just act like you don't care.

"I broke up with you that time, not because I don't love you anymore, but because of my dad. He told me to end everything between us, because I need to marry Rosé," he sighed. "I was force by my father to love Rosé, but I don't know why, you're still the person I love. You're the woman my heart wants."

I clenched my fists, controlling myself.

You need to be strong, Dubu. This is for your own good. For the both of you.

"Rosé's family is the biggest investor of my family's business, and without them, our business won't grow. If I disobey dad, our business will sink, and I don't want that to happen."

I avoided his gaze.

I don't want to look at his face, I might cry anytime soon. And I don't want that to happen, that'll only worsen the situation.

"Hey, I'm not saying these things because I want you to forgive me, okay? I just want to clear everything between us."

I heaved a sigh and look at him. "I know, I'm aware of that, you don't need to inform me."

"So, do you want to say something?" he asked

I heaved a sigh.

What am I going to say again?

"I just want to thank you," I said, staring at him

"Thank you?" I nodded. "For what? For hurting you?"

I laughed. "Of course not, idiot."

"Then for what?"

"For being part of my life. For loving and fine, also, for hurting me. You've been part of my life, and I'm thankful for that. I won't regret meeting you, but I think, I'll regret loving you too much," I laughed. "Near yet still so far. That's the best description for what's happening to us. I mean, you're near to me, yet it feels like you're still so far."

"Y-you're right. We can see, touch, hold each other, but we can't be together. Destiny is really playful," he said, laughing

I fake a smile. "Yeah, oh well, that's life. Not because we love each other, we'll end up with each other, right?"

He laughed. "Right."

"Oh well, people will came in our life to bring lessons and experiences. There's no permanent people in our lives. People will really leave us, whether we like it or not."

He didn't replied, he just stared at me.

"So, yeah, I guess, this is it?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

I smiled. "So, I'm leaving Mister Park. Thank you being part of my life, for being my first, but definitely not the last. I'm happy that we met, thank you for the memories."

He smiled back. "Thank you too, Miss Kim. I'm also glad to meet you, and to have you in my life, even just for a few years. I'm already contented with that."

"Yeah, so this is a goodbye then?"

"Y-yeah, I think so."

I stood up. "Goodbye. 'Til we meet again, Mister Park."

He stood up too. "Okay, goodbye. 'Til we meet again, Miss Kim."

I turn my back from him, but I look back when I forgot to say something.

"You forgot something?"

I nodded. "I forgot to tell you something. Please take care of Rosé. She deserves all the love in this world, treat her well. You're lucky to have her, I hope she's also lucky to have you."

Saying those things broke my heart into pieces, but I didn't show it. I want to be happy for them, I want to show my support for the two of them.

"O-oh, yeah, right. O-of course. I-I'll take care of Rosé."

I'm happy at the same time, sad.

"Good. Goodbye then," I said

"Yeah, goodbye."

I turn my back from him, this time, I didn't look back even if I badly want to.

My tears started to fall.

I love you, Park Jimin, but I guess, this is really the end for us. I'm happy to be part of your life, thank you for everything.

Jimin's PoV

I badly want to follow her but I can't move. My heart told me to follow her but my body isn't cooperating.

When she look back, I was so happy, I thought this is it. But what she said broke my heart into pieces.

I don't know what to do anymore. I want to follow what my heart wanted, but my body won't cooperate. My heart want to tell her how much I love her, but my mind is telling me not to, because that'll worsen everything.

"I love you, Dahyun. 'Til we meet again."

I just stared at her back, I watch the girl I love, walking away from me, not looking back.