[2]

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January 16th 2015

***

"Harry." I whispered, my mind blank.

I wasn't prepared for this. I don't think anything could've prepared me for this.

"I think we need to talk." His voice was barely above a whisper, but his tone was laced with an authority that sent my anxiety levels impossibly higher. 

My mind kicked into action as if it suddenly realised what was happening, racing at a hundred miles an hour as questions spun round my head faster than I had a chance to acknowledge them. 

Did he know? 

How could he possibly know.

He can't know. 

It had been over a year since I'd heard from him. Everything between us had crumbled to the ground in a matter of minutes right in front of my eyes, and it was all down to him. He'd kicked me to the ground when I least expected it, almost completely destroyed me and now here he was on the other side of the phone asking to talk. I'd worked past everything I'd felt during that time, rebuilt myself from the ground up, the past belonged in the past. 

"I'll be two minutes, keep an eye on-" I gestured to Isabella in fear of saying her name outloud and David nodded with a reassuring smile. I turned my eyes to Nora, frowning as she kept her eyes on Isabella, refusing to meet my gaze as she occupied herself with Isabella's babbling; I shook my head, deciding not to think too much of it as I headed towards the doors. The chatter and sound of plates and cups clashing together made it difficult to hear a word he was saying, and I felt a sudden lack of oxygen as I reached the doors. 

I took a slight gasp of air as the cold January breeze hit me like a tonne of bricks, the air was welcomed against my suddenly hot and clammy skin as I held the phone to my ear still. The square outside the coffee was pretty busy, full of people milling about the various shops and cafes that lined the outside and a few people sat on the benches in the middle sharing food and conversations.

"What do you want Harry?" I said harshly, a part of me felt a pang of guilt for being so sudden and sharp with him, but the other half of me was feeling everything he made me feel and was telling me I owed him nothing. I waited impatiently for his reply, picking at my nail beds to contain my anxiety of what he was phoning for. I'd spent too long rebuilding a life for me and Isabella, I wasn't about to rip it all apart on a whim for him.

"I told you," he sighed quietly, but just loud enough for me to be able to hear it through the line, "I think its about time we talked." His voice was kind and soft, almost hesitant with his words.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I replied quickly knowing the last thing I wanted to do was to become friends again. "Things didn't end on great terms between us."

"Please Marnie," He pleaded with desperation laced through his words. "Just let me explain...if you don't want anything to do with me after that then...then fine but please, just this chance?"

I took my lip between my teeth as his request met my ears. I'd spent what felt like a lifetime avoiding anything about him, avoiding social media, articles, television interviews, everything. Which proved a lot harder than it sounds when you're trying to avoid a member of the biggest boyband on the planet.

The thought of meeting up with him again made my heart thump hard in my chest. I didn't owe him anything, I could just say no, hang up and never hear from him again but a part of me wanted the explaination he seemed so determined to give me; I wanted the answers I'd spent so long wondering about. An image of Isabella flashed through my mind and my heart sunk, I could hear Nora in the back of my head screaming at me to tell him about her, but that was my decision.

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