Little [Harry Styles]

[4]

January 19th 2015

***

I felt like my legs could simply give out from beneath me as I spotted him from across the cafe. I'm not sure how long I stood in the doorway, but it was long enough that someone from the table looked in my direction with a questioning look. 

All the emotions I'd suppressed within me for over a year felt like they pushed themselves to the surface and my stomach dropped to the floor. He was right there. The man I loved with my entire being, only for him to rip it out and tear it up right in front of me. 

His eyes locked with mine from the table he was sat at, tucked away in the far corned of the cafe. A guilty expression crossed his face briefly, I could still read him the same way even now, but as soon as it was there it was gone. My hands suddenly felt clammy as I kept them clamped shut, making my way over to the table and dropping my bag to the floor before taking the seat opposite him. 

"I-um...thank you...thank you for coming..." He began, his eyes fixed on his hands as they played with the cup of coffee he had on the table. "I didn't think-"

"You grew out your hair." 

His eyes darted up from the coffee cup as he lost his train of thought. I wanted to clamp my hand over my mouth as soon as I said it, wishing I was capable of keeping my thoughts to myself. I hadn't intended to comment on his appearance, but the sight of his face framed by his now much longer hair had taken me by surprise. It suited him. 

"Yeah I...um...I just never cut it."

We paused for a moment, allowing the silence surrounding us to engulf the situation. A few moments passed before I worked up the courage to speak again, not wanting to be sat in the overpriced coffee shop all day. 

"What...what do you want Harry." I had intended to come across sharp, instead my voice shook with nerves and I sounded as if I was going to burst into tears at any moment. 

"I just thought we should talk, it's...it's been a while."

"And who's fault is that?" I replied with a weak laugh while my fingers fiddled with the napkin I held in my hand, "because last time I checked, it certainly wasn't mine."

"I didn't mean to hurt you..."

A wave of anger washed over me as I narrowed my eyes in his direction, all my feelings overflowing and lacing my tone with frustration. After he left me I had been a mess, hardly getting out of bed, being forced to eat, I don't think I left the house in a couple of weeks. If it hadn't been for finding out I was pregnant I don't know where I'd be today, whether I'd even be here at all.

Harry took his bottom lip in between his teeth and met his eyes with mine, frown lines appearing on his forehead as he tried to gather his words. I never expected to see him again, I never wanted to see him again, and yet here we were. 

"Hurting you was never my intention."

"If lies keep spewing from those lips...I'm walking out the door," I scoffed at his words, he'd had his chance and he'd blown it. I couldn't help the way I wanted to scream and shout at him, to tell him everything I never got the chance to about how he completely broke me, but I couldn't bring myself to lay myself open to him over again. 

"Please, just let me finish."

The statement came out like more of question and I nodded reluctantly, knowing this was the chance I'd wanted for so long. I told myself I didn't care, I'd healed and that an explaination wouldn't mean anything, but another part of me always questioned how. How could he possibly have just walked out like it was nothing.